Dating Thread 115 - come join us!

[InfoSec21]

Dating thread rules:

1. The first rule about the dating thread is you don't talk about it with people you're dating.
2. Develop a thick skin.
3. Do not invest emotionally too soon.
4. It's all BS until it actually happens.
5. Trust your gut instinct.
6. People vanishing, lying & being generally weird is not your fault.
7. You are the prize-they should be trying to impress you.
8. If it's not fun, stop.
9. Loo update is mandatory.

10. No dating the thread.

It really was heavy duty. I feel like I've lived 5 years with this man in only 3 dates. We clicked in so many ways, shared so much, and suddenly but rationally, it came to a natural conclusion. I hope he finds his happiness somewhere else and I'm pretty sure he feels the same way about me. I'm trying to be quite detached about it and I guess it does hurt a little, but it doesn't hurt too much. I think calling it a day was the right call.

Good luck with AS. Sometimes the most unlikely people are the most interesting.

Another long day at work.
I never did catch up with thread 114.

I promise to do better on this one.
Place marking.

My Mr Car was here yesterday.

He brought food & cooked it.
I was meant to go to his but could not as work issues made it impossible.

I think we almost had our first tiff.
He had sorted dinner in the oven.
Without thinking I interfered with the main course.

I immediately back tracked, apologised & went off to have a shower.
More to give him space (have a moment!!!) & try not to gasp in shock & maybe giggle.

He is more serious & domesticated than me. It was my house but he was in charge of food he said.

I saw a very different side to him.
We ate dinner and pudding.

Afterwards things were most definitely back on track as ginormous portions of MB were served.

Strawberryjam34
Look at Oasis.com
The only freebie on-line dating thingy that I have been able to navigate myself around. Have met alot of people from there and had 3 relationships including my current Mr Car.
No longer on Oasis now.
I had to increase my distance from me considerably plus increase age preferences plus go for short & tall guys. But in the end it worked.
Over the years I have met people from all over London, Brighton, Kent, Essex, Sutton, Surrey.

I was meant to meet someone from Scotland who worked in London about a week every fortnight but decided against it as he still "lived" with his wife...supposedly separately in the natural home.
There is someone out there for everyone I reckon. It is just blinking impossible to find them.
Good hunting 😀

Natural home was meant to be
Marital home!

Pringle that sounds like a really hard evening. How are you feeling this morning?
*
Info* did you calm phone number lady? If she was on here after 45 mins we'd tell her to calm down

I met someone yesterday morning on a whim. He lives next to my office so while on the ferry to work I asked if he wanted to get a takeaway coffee. Very quick but seemed to go ok, although his English isn't great. Lunch is planned for tomorrow.

I had to stop talking to mr tattoo after his anti-Islam comments on wed. Religious intolerance is not attractive.

Pringle that's sounds very full on. The differences could potentially work but equally could be a big sticking point if he can't make his peace with it, and then would become amplified over time.

Lettuce he sounds a bit controlling, no? I'd expect a bit of banter and fun in that situation, not to be seriously told off for 'interfering'. Did it feel awkward? Trust your instincts. Don't be pushed into feeling like you're in the wrong if you don't think you were.

Info AS sounds interesting! I have a 'parents wouldn't approve' filter too. I'm in my 40s fgs! But I think it is a way of working out who might fit in with my life vs who I wouldn't feel comfortable with.

Bant I'd cut my losses with MM. she sounds a bit unstable, all or nothing!

Mr Planes had been silent for 24 hours. He hasn't been on WhatsApp. He works in an airport at night so I think he is busy with the frantic post-terror attack business. Last messages yesterday morning were lovely and we're meant to be meeting tomorrow. I checked in on that two days ago and he said definitely yes, so I'm hopeful he's just busy. I'm trying not to crash into depression that we haven't chatted for 1 day! We'll see if he gets in touch today.

Can you tell if/when someone is on tinder?

Some pretty intense dates going on last night , kind of pleased I don't have any lined up.

I have given up on Mr MOD for now, he messaged me last night, I haven't opened it but saw it flash up on my iPad, something about 'he was meant to be having tomorrow (today) off work but has been asked to go in', I am seriously pissed off that I never see him and that he chooses to work when ever he is asked too, so the reality of seeing him more than once a month is just not enough for me. He then messaged me a minute ago (haven't opened it) to say he's leaving for work, sending me a hug, saying he loves me. I'm not going to reply, fed up of being a pen pal. I think I am going to register back on POF over the weekend and date other people, I'm Fed up of having child free days and having no one to share them with, I might as well be on a date with some random . I might arrange to meet up with Mr nice on Sunday but as friends (if he can manage that as I know he wants more), he's nice but not really my type, I'm a bit of a fitness freak and he is over weight and likes to lounge around eating take always. Still a couple of others hanging around Mr still living with his wife is too keen, I don't find him attractive (again not the right body type) and I can't be doing with someone who still lives with his wife (for the children), I am trying to brush him off.

So I sent MrTalkative a message regarding the date. He did reply eventually saying he's been busy with work etc etc etc - we've rearranged it to tomorrow evening now with a time and place set.
I'm going into this with no expectations, no investment and just see how it goes.

LM I think you're doing the right thing. It sounds like hard work on your part and mismatch between words and actions on his part. You'd never be able to rely on him if he's like that with jumping to work etc. You can't build a life with someone like that.

once your right, I think even if he lived closer it wouldn't make any difference , I'm going to back right off, if he wants to see me then he can put more effort in but I don't think he will as he always does what his work tells him too, it's not even a good job that he has (no ones life's at risk if he doesnt go in), he could easily say 'no' to over time. If he's not going to make the effort to make time to see me once a week then I just can't be bothered. I post memes on my Fb page about 'if someone wants to be with someone they will put in the effort' (or similar), he has obviously seen them but has taken no notice. He does apologise occasionally for not seeing me.

I want to go back on POF but I know his account is still active, he hid his profile but hasn't deleted it. Worried he will see me on there.

Our dignity should come before all else. Rarely should it be compromised.

If you're not going to dump him LM33 then definitely get back on POF. Sounds like nothing else is getting through to him (and no more of those awful passive-aggressive FB memes either!).

I'm sort of sad. I know he wanted that complete break from me for all the right reasons, and that's why I wish he hadn't taken it. His way of thinking is just so similar to mine.

I've never met a guy who's walked away from me for the right reasons, rather than douchey reasons. It's a new, strange experience.

As soon as I said I understood why he wanted a break, he blocked me. Not because he's a jerk but because I know he would have been tempted to message me. And that's not what he needs right now.

You never know. He might message me in a month and say he's got his shit together. I don't think he will though.-

He was so close to perfect whilst being anything other than perfect.

I'm tired. Tired but OK. I'm getting better at protecting myself and not emotionally losing it.

Yeah Miss Tinder is calm :) kinda.wish she hadn't thought that way though, how could she have pissed me off just by giving me her number. She should have walked rather than stuck around to someone she thought she'd pissed off by just doing that.

No reply from AScary yet but it was late so she might be having a pouty sleep. I doubt she will reply again but then you question why she did the first time. Me thinks someone better (to her) probably popped up.

Lots of things happening for everyone, this is good to read :)

LM seeing you on pof might be a good thing, he'll see that you are not hanging around waiting for him. Might be the wake up call he needs or the one you need to know you don't have to put up with him when they are so many other options who will treat you with the respect you deserve.

LM I agree, get back on there if that's what you want to do. Him seeing you on there might prompt him to act, but be aware that he might be more attentive for a while and then revert to type when he has you back on side.

If he's this flakey at the start, when he says he loves you etc, imagine how much it could get when the honeymoon period is over.

OnceMoreIntoTheBleach
Ooh dear you have sussed it.
My gut reaction with My not so Mr Car was to immediately guffaw/ chuckle & giggle, in order to lighten the situation. I chose not to as I can read him well, and knew this would make the situation worse.

On the same subject I rang him a week or so ago. He answered saying.
"Hello, so what's up?"
He genuinely like to "fix things or situations"
I do need some work - I guess none of us are perfect.
It is however not his role to "fix me".
I take him as I see him....he is however trying to tweak & change me!
On the phone that time I just said I called to say "Hello" (because of his reaction to me when he picked up the call)
Bloody Hell another guy to get rid...oh the dumping ground!

I am emotionally exhausted at the moment. I wrongly thought it was me struggling to cope with being in a relaionship. I also have a stressful work/ family balance.

Pringlecat I am so very sorry. You have such alot going on with Beardy.

My Tinder woman sent me her phone number tonight. I was driving home and in the space of that, she followed up to say sorry guess it was too soon, because I hadn't replied. To be fair, I did a 45 min drive without letting her know I wasn't going to be on my phone for a bit so I can see why she thought it had scared me off.

See, this bothers me. I don't want to have to think about telling someone my movements in advance. Fair enough if no response comes within a day, send a chaser text, and maybe expect an explanation for the silence then, but a follow-up text after 45 minutes? Eek.

Sorry you're feeling sad, Pringle. I hope you have some nice plans for yourself this weekend.

Lots going on for everyone. I'm trying to keep up.

My date from Wednesday is still in touch. Keen to meet again but he's away most of this weekend.
In the meantime Mr Story teller has invited me for lunch on Sunday. My choice. He's happy to travel to me.
And a tinder iron wants to know if I'm free for coffee tomorrow.
I have a child free weekend, so I might just take advantage of the offers.

Nowt is going on for me! I am the current contrarian of the thread!

Unless someone does it for me early doors (banter/humour/good chat/high standard of spelling etc), I quickly kick it by the wayside.

Wow Runnymummy you are in demand.
Where do you find there people?
Which on-line dating site?

I am procastinating.
I need to sort the week and the housework.
I need to temporarily ditch the technology; social media, on-line dating threads and other such time wasters. I need to get back to the real world & my life.
Happy weekend to all you people, guys & girls.

Lsoup

pringlecat It's annoying when that happens, but you sound like you're dealing with it in exactly the right way.

InfoSec21 45 minutes isn't long for a reply I wouldn't expect one that soon, more like a few hours or the next day if the other person might have a full evening. I wouldn't chase even if I wanted to, I'd be concerned it would be off putting.

Another nice gentle chat with MrCar last night, date is tentative for a week tomorrow. Not sure what we'll do or where we'll go, we don't live very close to each other.

I need to work on 'banter'. I am quite serious but also fairly witty, so dry. I can't do light fluffy banter-type chat, it bores me.

That's what happens when the thread doesn't refresh properly!

Sounds a busy few days for everyone.

How long would you chat with someone before swapping numbers or arranging a date?

Yeah it was a definite Amber flag that she said she thought she'd annoyed me so quickly. Add to that we talked on What's App and she apologised for not replying quickly when she was work. I do almost wanna say chill down, be cool.

Struggling to keep up.

Dieu It can all change in a minute Thats whats so amazing/ frustrating about OLD

Pringle So tough hope you can find peace over the situation

Runny We are not worthy!

LM Its hard when they get under your skin but I trust actions much more than words. He should make the effort to be with you rather than talk about it. Definitely date others

MyUser Hope its a good one

Bleach Hope he steps up

Pixie Tough and Urghh you deserve better.

Lettuce sounds too hard work. are you going to let him go?

Am away for weekend visiting family so no dates but one held over for next weekend. Mr Giant - Seems sweet and human and humorous and interesting.

Have good weekends everyone :)