Dating Thread 115 - come join us!

[InfoSec21]

Dating thread rules:

1. The first rule about the dating thread is you don't talk about it with people you're dating.
   
2. Develop a thick skin.
   
3. Do not invest emotionally too soon.
   
4. It's all BS until it actually happens.
   
5. Trust your gut instinct.
   
6. People vanishing, lying & being generally weird is not your fault.
   
7. You are the prize-they should be trying to impress you.
   
8. If it's not fun, stop.
   
9. Loo update is mandatory.
   

10. No dating the thread.

[Bant]

outtogetyou - thanks for the pissy comment..

[Bant]

magnum - yeah I'd say it's s milestone. It's moving from meeting someone to dating someone, maybe to seeing someone. Possibly a relationship.

Once you've met someone's friends, there's an implied exclusivity there, although not a definite one, and less chance of them being a dick and vanishing, because you're part of their life now, not a separate bit of it

[MagnumPieEye]

Thanks Bant - that's good news. Maybe I'll go meet them then. I do want to be part of his life.

[OutToGetYou]

I'm not sure what 'pissy comment' means, it was meant to be supportive in a 'it's not you, it's her' kind of way, but if you want to take offence, feel free.

[Bant]

Well it came across as slightly sistahood-ish. In a nice-to-see-men-get-screwed-over-too type of way. Slightly too joyful to be empathic.

Possibly I'm just pissed off.

[InfoSec21]

Nothing from AScary but had movement with Miss Tinder. She rang me earlier and I missed it but said I'd call her in a bit. Was a little hmmm about it but I rang and she's lovely. Southern accent which is just corrrr for me!! Seems really nice too, good vibes. She seems really keen too which is great, will see how this progresses.

I had a read back and couldn't spot a pissy message, what was it Bant? I'm sure it wouldn't have been intended that way.

[pringlecat]

Bant I don't think the message was intended the way you read it. But I can understand why everything is annoying you right now; you've had something you wanted taken away from you without any 'real' explanation. It's bound to mess with your perception.

FWIW, I was really rooting for this one for you. It's a shame.

[OnceMoreIntoTheBleach]

Well I messaged Mr Planes late afternoon - I probably shouldn't have but I failed at that. I said I hope he's ok and that I have babysitting sorted for tomorrow so to let me know...

He read it but hasn't replied I'm thinking he's met someone else.

I'm really disappointed because this one was so easy going, so good on text, chatted to me while he was away fishing all last weekend, all the time he was at work etc. And now vanished.

I'm thinking if he comes back for the date tomorrow, I might tell him to stick it, because he's left me hanging for 2 days. My time is precious. Babysitting is precious. Damn it.

[Thattwatoverthere]

God, how is this dating so hard ?!? I've just hidden myself on Pof and tinder again as sick of seeing the same faces all the time. They're probably sick of seeing me too.

Every man I've messaged first bar one or two just doesn't reply so I gave up on that a while ago. The majority of messages I get are from men that I just don't fancy for whatever reason, the ones from men I do fancy either have fake pics (hello reverse image search) or they fizzle out before we get to meet. I'm pretty proactive in arranging dates if I think I'll like someone once we've chatted but I've been ghosted a fair few times.

So for the next month, I'm done!

Now the issue is that I'm thinking about my first love again as is standard when I'm single. I found a load of letters from when we were together and they were so lovely. So now my goal is to meet someone that makes me feel like that again, the bar is now probably unrealistically high

didn't at ALL try to add him on fb and am now waiting for him to accept

[Plentyoffishnets]

It sounds like a lot has been going on these past few days!
Love- glad you are moving on from Mr Mod: from afar I think you are doing the right thing. Unless you cut him off though, maybe a bit of you will hold you back from meeting someone new and . I am trying to work through this myself at the moment.
I had a 3rd date with Mr pizza last night. It was a good evening. Bit awkward on the snogging front. When out at a pub only really get a chance in the car park, but I am reluctant to take it a step further at the moment as would have kids upstairs. And hardly know him. And actually after last weeks snog which was promising, a more.full on session last night was a bit disappointing.
He is so great though, attractive, funny, sparky so not going to let.that stop things
We have another date lined up for a few days time. It will be nearer mine. I realise he may have expectations as would be 4th date. But he says has deleted the dating site we met through, and talks as if its the start of.something. Having been through this recently I would be guttef if it happened again and am finding.myself being ultra cautious. Feel like I am treading a fine line between being too cautious and getting let down again by someone who is only after the sex.

[MyUsername200]

Oncemore sounds like he's ghosting on you, which is rubbish. I'm sorry. this is what drives me mad regarding dating, the whole ghosting thing. Unfortunately it's part of dating these days. :(

MrTalkative has been messaging but very short, one sentence replies. We're meeting tomorrow eve for a drink, I'm not sure if there will be chemistry. It's strange as he was very chatty and seemed lovely at first, maybe he's not feeling it.

Have been chatting to a guy on Okcupid. We've exchanged perhaps 4 messages, bit too early to see if it'll develop into a date but so far so good.

[LosingDory]

I didn't read anything pissy in what outtogetyou write she was making a joke.

infosec don't put anything in your profile that alludes to not getting any messages - personally seeing that would immediately turn me off, it's pretty negative

[InfoSec21]

Thanks for advice on that, I did think it was probably too negative even with a joke to try and soften it but you're right. I won't add that in :)

Was half expecting to wake up to a message from Miss Tinder but nothing yet. I'm going to message her. We had a really nice phone call last night so I'm gonna message her just to make sure she knows I'm interested.

[InfoSec21]

Interesting. Just went to message her in What's App and her thing says last seen 3.45am!!!

That's pretty late. I know I tend to work off information known but I'm sure the reasonable assumption would be that she was talking to another guy for ages.

That's made me not wanna message her!!

[Dieu]

God, the whole thing can be so fraught, can't it?
So much second guessing, and wondering, and worrying ...
If it makes you feel any better Info I was awake at a similar time last night, as I had had a late nap early evening , so obviously couldn't get back to sleep.
I had a quick look on POF, but wouldn't dream of messaging anyone at that time of night morning. So you just never know ...
Happy weekend everyone. It's my weekend on with the kids, and that is almost a relief. Due to the fact that I only have every second weekend, I almost feel under pressure to have a date lined up!

[InfoSec21]

Thanks Dieu, you're right. It could be anything.

Happy weekend to you too :)

[Thattwatoverthere]

Info - don't read too much into that, any number of reasons she could be online at that time. If I wake up in the night I tend to go through my 'go to apps' WhatsApp included. She could have been checking if you were online

[fortunacookie]

Can the guys on the thread shed some light on this please ?

So you go on a date with a girl come across as bit shy but a gent all the same, quick kiss when leaving...

...send message to say how much you liked the girl but then quickly progress to trying to talk dirty.. surely not sign of a guy wanting a relationship?

[Clawdeen]

info I've been sleeping really badly this week and have been faffing on my phone in the middle of the night- looking at mumsnet, looking on dating sites, re-reading Whatsapp messages- usually to remind myself of my plans for the following day. It might not be that she's been up late chatting to another guy. Fingers crossed for you.

[Clawdeen]

fortuna it could be anything in my experience! I've had that with one guy and it ultimately led to being told he just wanted FWBs ( after we'd had sex on many occasions). I've also had the same where the guy was adamant he wanted to take things slowly and was after a relationship- but then sent dirty texts and gave me a vibrator!

[fortunacookie]

Think I must encourage this behaviour clawdeen , I'm really not that into sexting especially with strangers

[Bluegirl25]

Are some men just not kissing and cuddling types? Met a lovely guy a few months ago on Match, he makes me laugh so much, we get on so well and he treats me well. But he's just not into kissing and cuddling. I sometimes feel we are just friends who sleep together. My ex was not a cuddler and that never bothered me but this does. It makes me feel like he's not attracted to me if that makes sense? Dating is so stressful x

[Dieu]

fortuna he is being a presumptuous twat. Please don't feel that you are responsible for his behaviour. Tell him that you are neither ready nor comfortable with this. His reaction will inform you as to the type of person he is.

[RunnnyMummy]

Just have a catch up and it strikes me that many people need a lesson in basic manners these days . Or maybe I'm just getting old.
It doesn't take much to send a text saying thanks but no thanks. Or check if someone is ok with sexting before launching into it.
I was supposed to have a date tonight but after the initial exchange of a few messages I heard nothing from him. Asked if he was still interested and he said yes but then still made no effort. Yesterday I told him I was cancelling because I didn't feel I knew him well enough to meet him for dinner. I wanted to say because you've made no effort but I was trying to be polite. He hasn't even acknowledged my message.

Coffee date this morning has also been cancelled. He has toothache. Not sure if this is genuine excuse. I suggested we meet another time when he feels better. So far he hasn't replied.

[fortunacookie]

Ruuunny yeah I agree, think because there's so much choice out there people become lazy