Hold me back people.... how can I refuse this...

[isthismylifenow]

I know I am posting in relationships, it certainly isn't regarding a relationship, but just an example of what shit I have to deal with these days being recently single...

This is because every married man (note, friends of mine so I am friends with their wives too) seems to think I am so bloody desperate that they need to 'offer their services'.

Go out for the evening with bunch of friends.

Get home to get a message from one of the husbands saying I looked great that night..... He has something to tell me, I should take it as a compliment although he is a bit shy to tell me. Cue me getting uncomfortable, so I reply, 'no thanks I don't want to know.'
Next day I get a message saying he has to tell me, I need my confidence boosting and continues with a message saying:

I had two erections last night. Once when you arrived and once while you were dancing. You shouldn't look down at yourself like you do. You should appreciate yourself. Just letting you know as I am your friend.'

WTAF!!!

My reply "don't message me again".

Fucking arsehole!

Fucks sakes, how can anybody take that as a compliment anyway. Makes me feel sick.

Do not tell the wife. Its happened to me, twice, I told the wife/ girlfriend then ended up being blamed for it and had a reputation for a while as some sort of man stealing siren, ha! If only.

Just worry about yourself and avoid. He is a sleazy prick to put you in this situation. Sometimes men really make me sick. I feel safer being single these days.

Right now he's panicking after being so bluntly rejected by you. He's sewing the seeds of doubt already with his wife, your friend about you.
I think you are likely to loose this friendship anyway and if you don't want it to damage other friendships in your circle through gossip, you should send her the screenshot straight away with a message that says
"Hi, I recieved these messages from your DH. I thought it was important to let you know. Give me a call if you want to talk about it".
I know you say she doesn't need this now, but he won't give you the same consideration.

Op how on earth did you manage to not fall at his feet and worship the golden cock he obviously has? Whilst chanting

Odfod this made me laugh.

I'm sorry, but by not telling his wife you are an awful friend.
Your loyalty should be to her, not her sleazy husband.

You think my loyalty is to him??

If you discuss this with your friend (and I'm not saying you should), I suggest saying that you didn't appreciate the lewd nature of the messages, even if they were meant to make you feel better. Don't mention that he was hitting on you - even though we all know that his smooth words (!) were his opening gambit and that if you'd responded positively he'd have bitten your hand off.

He'll claim that you're deluded (you're not, obvs) and his wife and others will have you down as a floozy (see Titiana above).

After digesting all of this since yesterday, I am even more pissed off now. I have done nothing to encourage him. He is the in the wrong here. But it's me who has to make the terrible decisions of what to do now. I have been accused of being a terrible friend, which I really feel I am not. If I was that awful, wouldn't I have messaged him back saying 'come on over'.... I want nothing to do with him, I am just repulsed by him.

Just feel like going back into my hole again. It's easier there...

This is utter bollocks

Mate. Park it and move on

isthis please don't feel bad. A terrible friend would charge on up to this man's wife and tell her, "because it's the right thing to do", regardless of her feelings.

I'm angry on your behalf. I've not been in your shoes exactly but I know several women irl who have

You've got to try and be brave OP and do the right thing. Deep down, what do you think that is, truly?

If you were my friend and you didn't tell me, our friendship would be over. I'd also assume you didn't tell me because you wanted to keep your options open.

He is a true poet isn't he.
Romance is officially dead.
No shame nor embarrassment!

Hes just another sick sleaze, in an ocean of sleazes. Dont let it get to you!

Yup, Naice. "I know he's only joking, but I don't like it" would be a far more constructive tack than "he's hitting on me".

I get the impression from these scenarios, that the friend doesn't usually cut contact because they can't trust them with their partner (though there are some very deluded people who will go down that route).
I think it's because it's embarrassing that it's out there - what their shitty partner is really like.
They stay with their partner regardless, but the friend ends up getting dropped. It's too awkward to carry on the friendship.
It's clear from the OPs response that she has offered no encouragement, and it's clear from his texts that he is not joking.
It's very sad but I imagine that the wife of the creep knows what he is like. Unlikely that this is his first shitty move after nearly 30 years of marriage.

The OP said she knows she wouldn't leave him.

Thanks everyone for all the comments, whether I agree with them or not...

Fuck him, I am not going into my hidey hole again because of him. I have been through hell and back in the past 2 years and have only just come out of the other side with dignity and my head held high.

Fuck him.

I wont allow him to do this to me.

And when/if I see him again, I will tell him to his face.

That's the spirit!

You swept into the crowded room, my God that was an eyeful,
My immediate reaction was an erection hard to stifle,
But then you danced the night away, and there it was once more,
It normally takes a big blue pill to steel my inner core.
So come on baby, what's to lose, I'd like to treat you right,
You're single, yeah, so up for it - you shouldn't be uptight!
What's it matter if I'm married, you know I just don't care,
My golden phallus is just too good - be rude if I didn't share.
So I'm overweight and past my best, but really does that matter?
My offer is to boost your worth - I'm doing all this to flatter!

Pater

You have made my day!

Haven't read the full thread but that poem is ace pater!

I got a text from my ex slagging off his new girlfriend which was actually his exwife so I just sent it on.

Agree, and edit ""Look I know he's messing around sending me those messages, and god knows he'd be the last person on earth i'd even look at, but I don't like it, would you have a word?"

Love love love the poem pater!!!

Brilliant Pater

"Look I know he's messing around sending me those messages, but I don't like it, would you have a word?"

That is a really good idea, NaiceBiscuits.