Hold me back people.... how can I refuse this...

[isthismylifenow]

I know I am posting in relationships, it certainly isn't regarding a relationship, but just an example of what shit I have to deal with these days being recently single...

This is because every married man (note, friends of mine so I am friends with their wives too) seems to think I am so bloody desperate that they need to 'offer their services'.

Go out for the evening with bunch of friends.

Get home to get a message from one of the husbands saying I looked great that night..... He has something to tell me, I should take it as a compliment although he is a bit shy to tell me. Cue me getting uncomfortable, so I reply, 'no thanks I don't want to know.'
Next day I get a message saying he has to tell me, I need my confidence boosting and continues with a message saying:

I had two erections last night. Once when you arrived and once while you were dancing. You shouldn't look down at yourself like you do. You should appreciate yourself. Just letting you know as I am your friend.'

WTAF!!!

My reply "don't message me again".

Fucking arsehole!

Fucks sakes, how can anybody take that as a compliment anyway. Makes me feel sick.

DrS

Yes I have blocked him, but I see this morning he has put a meme on the group. Can he see if I post on the group now?

Facebook? No clue. Don't use it

I've had similar scenarios when I have been single. Fortunately not using the same romantic language in a text.
I said nothing. There seems to be an assumption among some men that if you are single you must be gagging for a shag. Where the reality is in my case at least is what you don't have you don't miss.
I'd say nothing if I were you. He'd probably say you messaged him first and had a weak moment. Messenger always gets shot. What a piece of scum

TBH I think I would want to know if this was my DH. Next time he might strike lucky.

Oh sorry. Whatsapp. No I didn't think you did. Just don't know how this happens. Maybe I'm just old

My phone autocorrects sleeze to sleeve, apparently.

I don't think blocking works in group chats? Someone correct me if I'm wrong.

You're joking if you're saying you're not going to show your friend his wife? Aren't you?! I'm a little bit glad you're not my friend

Maybe if you threaten him to remove yourself from the group chat that will scare him off. And be subtle for the wife.

Oh I forgot friends on mumsnet are akin to the Virgin bloody Mary. Never get annoyed with their friends or think about trying to not upset them.

Somerville

It just makes me angry. Here I am just trying to get on with life, I was married a very long time before the split and its taken me a long time to build up the very little confidence that I do have now.

For one comment to destroy it all.

I feel targeted, like a piece of meat. I don't know, I cant really explain why its upset me so.

Its not fair. I wont be surprised if I now get excluded from that group of friends too now. If he does go and bad mouth me.

Here

Yeah, well thanks for that Lesis

I would be tempted to tell. I'm not a big 'teller' in that I think what other people get up to tends not to concern me, but here, he's harassing you with his ridiculous erection talk, and my guess is that he'll insinuate bad things about you now as you didn't respond well.

I would be tempted to pass the message on, because I don't think the friendship with the wife would ever be the same. That said, I didn't tell when my friend's husband groped my bum, I didn't want to have a 'she said, he said' type conversation and I knew there was no proof. Here there is proof. Do what you think is best.

Why wouldn't you tell your friend?

Have you kept his horrible texts or deleted them?

If you still have them, I would hold on to them. If he starts bad mouthing you or anything in the future, I would threaten to reveal them unless he winds his neck in.

I would want to know if I was his partner, but I can understand your reluctance and why.

You've GOT to tell her.

If fact I would go so far as to say what kind of a friend are you if you don't?

And in keeping his dirty little secret, he makes you complicit.

I think she's right not to tell her friend, she will probably be excluded from the group if the women think their husbands are making a pass at her. Not because they are horrible women, but because they will prioritise their marriage.

Do your think your friend has any idea of how vile he is?
It may be no surprise to her if you did tell. He doesn't sound very discreet!

He sounds like a chancer & I think you should tell your friend.

Chancers like him, will chuck that out to say 10 women & 1 will nearly always say yes. He's playing a numbers game.

TWO erections. Two. Just so you know how super-hot he thinks you are. What an absolute fuckbadger. (Guy, not OP, obvs.)

Reply Asking if they are swingers as it's not your kind of thing 😂

If he'd seen me dancing his erection would have gone back into his body till it came out his bum. That's how bad I am

Losing

I don't want to tell her as I don't want to rock the boat I suppose. Why should I lose my friend (as that is what is going to happen... how can it not) because of him?

Also it wouldn't make anything happen. He'd deny , she'd call you a bitch etc

Leave it. He will do something else. Never tell her even if they do split. Friendship more important.