Please can I have perspective on these texts from H

[ChangedForAReason]

Hi. Name changed.

Not a loaded question I just need outside perspective on the way my H talks to me (this is common but not all the time).

Thanks in advance.

Lol @ 'slipped disc'.

Does he also have no eyes or hands to see or tidy up the mess?

What a penis.

Ruleryellow, where do you get that from? I can't see anything suggesting he's read the thread.

I wish the slipped disc I had got better within three hours like his does. No doubt you'll discover it's a direct result of his herculean efforts lifting wellies out of the cupboard.

Ffs, he's like a man child. He's now just attention seeking as he wants you home following his shite text. Slipped a disk and in excrutiating pain? My arse.

Seriously, you need to leave that. I'm drained even reading about his childish abusive behaviour. If you can't do it for you, do if for your kids. You don't want them to grow up thinking this is normal behaviour.

Please seek legal advice OP, your DC's are not getting a good example of relationships from you and H.

My Exh spoke to me like shit and sulked/ignored regularly too. We split when DS was 8 but it was too late and he had already began getting into trouble at school (mostly being disrespectful to female teachers!)

Although DS is never nasty too me - not to my face at least, he treats his girlfriends appallingly and I bitterly regret remaining married for those 8 years.

aww he wants some pity does he? He's pathetic - how do you children see nothing if he sulks with you for days or weeks?

He will fight for the children? Will he hell. He can't even look after himself let alone anyone else!!!

Don't go running just because he's opening the door to being nice to you. He is doing so because he can sense that you are withdrawing and he will just be putting on an act until the next time he feels pissed off and starts on you

Omg this is truly shocking. Sometimes you have to step outside of a situation to look in and see the bigger picture. I hope all these lovely responses and advice to see a solicitor helps you see that you shouldn't have to put up with that.
That is a man you have shared your life with, given birth to his children, raised them into little people, fed him, financially supported him and yet he feels he can treat you like that?
I bet he would shit an absolute brick if you told him to go fuck himself and to see him in court. Bullies are all the same, once you stand up to them they generally turn into cowards.
Please OP for your own sake and the sake of your children....get the hell out of dodge.

You are his whipping boy.He takes his moods our on you.

I know how you feel about leaving, it's a realisation of being abused that has to register and then action will follow.Also knowing he wont/can't change.

What is his relationship with his mother like?

I can only agree with other posts, I am quite messy and my OH would live in a white room with a sofa/bed if he could whenever he moans about any mess in our home I tell him exactly where to go, and if he doesn't like my method of things he should do it himself, that soon shuts him up and warrants an apology when he realises how much I do do. You are worth more than being spoken to like that!

A slipped disk though,,,and the if it's better in three hours i will let you know. I mean seriously, who says that. 🙄

My ex used to do this.
He would be a total twat - and then try and force contact with me by pretending to be ill.
He would also use fake illness to try and justify why he was being a twat.
I have no idea why a virus / headache etc. would make somebody verbally abusive. He also used his fathers death as an excuse for being a cunt.
I put up with this twattery for eight years. I wish I could turn the clock back and get those eight years back.

I had a slipped disc twice in my 20s.
I ended up rigid and needed diazepam to sleep.
It will be interesting to see if he can style this one out...

And as for mess, my husband is messy, it's the way he is and I believe in compromise.
If it's gets too much, I tell him. I don't insult him, call him names and threaten to take everything away from him if he wants to divorce.

And a cupboard with a few bits in? He is ridiculous.

OP- every time my H went too far and was worried I would leave he would invent some drama.
Panic attack
Heart pain- a & e
Twisted ankle
Bad back
Twisted knee
PTSD

he speaks to you with utter contempt. Horrible

Wow. What a bellend.

He'd be out the door on the end of my boot!

Op you only get one life. Don't spend it with him. You think your kids don't know what goes on, but they probably do, and if not yet, they will. Massive move to make but please do it, you deserve to be happy.

I've just put together the sequence of texts. I love his idea that he will be able to get custody of the children based solely on the allegation that you are an unfit mother because you store wellies, plastic bags and stuff for charity in the understairs cupboard. I'd like to be in court when he tries that one.

I will admit I've sent messages like that when I reached my limit with stuff. Wasn't proud of it but I did.

I can't deal with mess though and it does genuinely cause me a lot of stress.

I'd be upset but I don't think I'd be that bothered about it if you know you're messy then just be tidier. I know I'm not part of the 'he's a prick' group that have taken over but is he maybe depressed? Having a tough time at work and something like that may have pushed him over?

Oh FFS

I've had a slipped disc I wish it would have been better in a few hours, what a tosser!

Neither DW nor I are tidy people and it generally bothers me more than it does her. When I reach the end of my tolerance I don't embark on a text tirade I do angry cleaning! Its amazing how much more you can get done when you're in a strop and focusing your energy on scrubbing than in a normal easy going mood.

I tend to find the transformation satisfying and by the time its all clean I'm in a good mood.

DW is kind of the same but its more a case that when she gets angry she attacks the oven!

Flowery

Have you really???

You can't take that back when it's in a text. It takes time to write it, and then decide to send it.

I think that if anyone is depressed and becomes that incensed by things that they need to attack others, they need to Acknowledge the harm they are doing get psychological help

It does not sound as if the OP's husband is capable of this. He has been doing it for years

Harmless

I do my best cleaning when I'm in a strop too

Hes tried being angry and it hasnt gotten the grovelling response he wanted.
Now hes trying to get your pity/sympathy.

I am totally unsurprised that youve gotten a text like this. If you give him the slightest expression of pity or sympathy or caring when you get home, expect him to go back on the attack again, probably along the lines of "my back went because of all the stress from living in this filthy hovel that you havent cleaned".
Its all him gameplaying to try and manoeuvre himself back into the upper hand position.

His more recent texts are a complete embarrassment. Hope it went well at the solicitors.

Yoda yeah I have and if I'm honest it was to provoke a response. I feel bad about it after but I'd rather dh sees me at my worst, when I stopped even sending those texts is when we separated.