Please can I have perspective on these texts from H

[ChangedForAReason]

Hi. Name changed.

Not a loaded question I just need outside perspective on the way my H talks to me (this is common but not all the time).

Thanks in advance.

I'm a degree educated professional BTW

He's an abusive idiot who can't spell. All my least fav things rolled into one.
Just horrible and I would not tolerate.

I would never, ever talk to him in that way. Ever. He's not thick at all BTW just 'self made' as an adult; never able to access much education when younger through no fault of his own really

Wow. Nice use of the term "chav" too. What a prince.

Marriage counselling so you can make it clear this lack of respect is unacceptable? I.e. One chance before you fly and he loses the amazing person you are

Calling me a dirty chav is a recurrent theme

He is one very special dickhead isn't he somehow even more dickish than normal dickheads.

I would be running like the fucking wind in the other direction to him preferably after screwing the very unpleasant man for every penny I could.

Do your children hear this? That's some unhealthy environment.

There is no way he sees you as his equal. No way he respects you or understands you.

I have no idea if he says he loves you but those are not the words of someone who does.

Please don't live with this. This is abusive and miserable. There is some great advice on here about what you should be doing to get away.

Reading that just made me so sad. How can someone be so cruel about stuff in a cupboard?!! for you

Horrid man.
I would keep those texts, in case you ever need to evidence his abusive behaviour.
Berating you with one text and then threatening you in the next (should you want a divorce). Hideous.
He's talking though his arse as well as being vile.

Why are you with him ?

He can be excessively moody and glowering around the children on occasion but the nastiness is reserved for me and as a lot of the nastiness (when he's not being 'normal') is just ignoring me or lecturing me about how messy/stupid/illogical/scatty/bad with money/selfish I am so that happens when we're alone.

I know how all this must sound now it's written down and for balance, he can be witty and good company / conversation too but only on his terms. The sulks can last literally days and occasionally weeks.

AF, I love him. His children love him.

Awful

for you for having to deal with that.

I'm pretty messy, not dirty but not tidy (and SAHM to school age child), no way in hell would DP send me anything like that.

He has no respect for you, I'd def be getting legal advice.

Get lawyered up, keep evidence of the abuse and divorce the fucker.
Try and get a non mol too based on the threats.

It would be really tempting to engage in some cod-psychoanalysis here (along the lines of him feeling pretty inferior and directing rage about it at you).

Is he physically threatening?

He doesn't love you. He despises you. And by abusing you, he is abusing your children.

You loving him is not enough.

What are you going to do about this then?

A dirty chav?
That's appalling. I would ask him why he wants to remain married if that's the way he thinks.

I get the impression that he feels he can be abusive, as you would be too scared to leave him (his empty threats about the children and the house).
I don't think it is at all possible that he could turn this around and change I am afraid.

I'm sorry to hear that you are living like this. I hope you will leave him.
You don't deserve to live in this misery.

I don't know where to start. I mean intellectually I know I contact a solicitor etc but I mean: deconstructing my kids' world.

A father sulking will not be missed by children, even if that is all he does They are sensitive little emotional sponges. They will wonder what they have done, and wonder what he will do.

How can you love someone who treats you in this disgusting way?

That's a genuine question - I really don't understand it.

Your children's world is damaged already. It's getting more damaged every day they live 24/7 with an abuser that disrespects the mother who tolerates it.

No, not deconstructing their world. You're stopping them from growing up thinking abusing your partner is normal or desirable.

Naicehamshop: shared history - nearly two decades of it. 3 beautiful kids. I met him at 20.