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Original poster

Is this ok? (New guy, not sure)

181 replies

Princessmollygolly · 13/02/2017 14:38

Quick straw poll: Guy you're seeing for 6 weeks, sleeping with etc, goes away for a (female) friend's birthday weekend (apparently about 8 people there, old uni friends.) Gets tagged in a photo naked in a hot tub wth also naked girl (another female "friend") Looking very cosy. Alcohol everywhere.
Is that ok?
Thoughts..?

OP posts:
Foxysoxy01 · 13/02/2017 15:18

pigeondujour

Would you want your DD or DS to be naked in a hot tub with a 'friend' putting the picture of naked in a hot tub on Facebook for all of their friends/relatives/random to see? Or would you think you had brought your DC up to have some more self respect than that?

I think it was a fairly astute conclusion tbh.

WannaBe · 13/02/2017 15:20

Would be a deal-breaker for me. Regardless of the exclusivity chat, putting pictures of yourself and a woman, any woman, naked on facebook is just tacky and, as other posters have said, shows a complete lack of self respect.

I would just say that this was no longer working for me and leave it at that. He doesn't need to know the reasons, you've not committed to each other or anything, but you're entitled to not like it.

pigeondujour · 13/02/2017 15:20

There's no link between nakedness (which we aren't even sure was nakedness, by the way) and self respect. You're definitely not being 'astute'.

Original poster
Princessmollygolly · 13/02/2017 16:18

I think it's less just the photo in itself (though it did feel weird from a guy I had literally just slept with) and more the fact that it was a selfie posted by the girl in question, who posts loads of trout pout selfies and scantily clad pictures. Not to sound like a cow but i just didn't think the hot tub scenario seemed very innocent. It's not like it was full of all the mates. Loads of drinking, the guy I'm seeing posted about "alcohol abuse" in the comments. It's just a bit lame and immature I dunno. We are late twenties.
No one else from the party had posted photos except her and they were all pouting selfies and that hot tub photo. It's just weird. I guess because I wouldn't do that stuff. And yes whether it's prudeish or not I wouldn't want a guy I was sleeping with to be in a hot tub with that girl.

OP posts:
Foxysoxy01 · 13/02/2017 16:32

pigeondujour

Are you deliberately being obtuse?

So you think it's completely normal behaviour for a woman or man to decide to have a few drinks with a group of people from Uni then get completely naked while people that are watching get their cameras out. They then get into a hot tub naked with a supposedly taken bloke who is also naked and have pictures taken by so called 'mates' who then plaster the pictures all over Facebook.

You think that is completely normal behaviour from someone with no self respect issue what so ever?

If you had some self respect why would you put yourself in that situation?

We obviously have completely different ideas of how we/our children should WANT to behave.

Original poster
Princessmollygolly · 13/02/2017 16:40

Foxy I guess there is no hard proof they were totally naked. I still wouldn't want a hot tub pic on fb of myself though.

OP posts:
Eevee77 · 13/02/2017 16:46

No I'd be waving goodbye. I don't get all this "we haven't had the exclusivity chat". If you were my friend and I saw this picture I'd be thinking he's a disrespectful arse. If you're heading towards being a couple then this picture says otherwise to me.

Trills · 13/02/2017 17:50

How likely is it that you'll ask him about the picture and he'll say

"Oh yeah, Sarah, she's awful. I don't like her but Mike invited her. I really wish she hadn't posted that - she's so obsessed with putting up pictures."

AyeAmarok · 13/02/2017 17:57

You're sort of blaming the girl here, all she did was take a photo. He still got into the hot tub (naked?) with her and posed for the photo.

The whole thing is still immature and tacky of him whether she took a photo or not.

RedSauce · 13/02/2017 18:10

Strapless bikini tops are in fashion right now. I'd say they're quite a lot more popular than ones with straps.

So to give another point of view, we have a harmless photo of some friends in a hot tub, and a paranoid/jealous not-yet-gf.

Ouriana · 13/02/2017 18:11

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

Hissy · 13/02/2017 18:16

Supposedly taken bloke...

Sadly not in his head he's taken...

It is only 6weeks, I'd cut losses tbh.
Not worth the pita of having to wait for an explanation

It's not right, not at all.

Mablethorpe · 13/02/2017 18:17

One, not okay at all. I'd have my trainers on about now...

Howlongtilldinner · 13/02/2017 18:17

OP is it something you would've done, even innocently? If it isn't then you have principles and values, and I imagine you would expect the same back.

It's nobody else's business but yours, but clearly you are uncomfortable with it that's why you're asking.

Personally I'd end it..

Mablethorpe · 13/02/2017 18:17

Sorry OP Sad

AnyFucker · 13/02/2017 18:22

You are not compatible

On that basis, I would end it

Gingerbreadlass · 13/02/2017 18:22

Go with your gut. Sometimes our reasoning can't compute the little snippets of info that we pick up.

It's not about exclusivity as such but the fact this photo has been posted by the girl in question, seems like a dog wanting to mark a spot..

Then there is the fact he hadn't meant jones her name at all or conveniently forgotten but ends up being tagged in a hot tub, possibly nude but definitely not sober with her.

Odd that Hmm

Wallywobbles · 13/02/2017 18:23

NOT Ok in my book either. I think you need a chat with your self esteem if this seems even the smallest bit ok to you.

Kittencatkins123 · 13/02/2017 18:23

It's shitty.

Why don't you chat to him about it and the exclusivity thing.

I.e. You saw he'd posted a possibly naked jacuzzi pic and you were a bit hurt but also it made you think is this just a casual thing and you thought you should have a chat about it.

Then you can deal with both.

Gingerbreadlass · 13/02/2017 18:24

mentioned

AnyFucker · 13/02/2017 18:25

no.naked.jacuzzi.ness

Who was it that said that ?

Gingerbreadlass · 13/02/2017 18:26

What kitten suggests sounds good.

Do it in person to watch him squirm.

Are there other people tagged in these photos? If you look at their profiles it might give you another angle (pun intended) on this party.

CDAlady · 13/02/2017 18:30

you don't need to find out from other people whether you are being jealous or paranoid. If it makes you feel uncomfortable and he doesn't get it then this is not the right relationship for you. Everybody is different.

TheHiphopopotamus · 13/02/2017 18:35

no.naked.jacuzzi.ness

Who was it that said that

It was Michelle from one the very early Big Brothers when they all thought she'd been evicted and Chicken Stu got in a hot tub with one of the other housemates

(I'm ashamed that I know that Blush As you were, all).

AnyFucker · 13/02/2017 18:39

Well done, Hiphop!

That was when BB used to be good Smile

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