Dp moody cos I can't have sex for 6 weeks

[Rizzo03]

I've just had treatment for cervical cancer so I can't have sex for 6 weeks, he knew this right from the start, we are now in week 2 and he's moody, tense and there's an atmosphere. There's also a lot of other things going on, my dad has just died and his ex is causing trouble his dd wants to live with her mum, all adding to the pressure. I just feel really down with it all and I needed somewhere to moan

That's great! If you haven't already thought of this, it may be helpful if you have a chance tonight to write down a list of questions to ask the solicitor.

And be sure to take a pad and pencil tomorrow! Trying to listen and take notes on an iPhone just doesn't work!

Stay strong and if his kids are rude to you do not tolerate it. Tell her it's none of her business or that the apple doesn't fall far from the tree as she's as much a little shit as her dad. Tell stbxh that his dd being a shit will not encourage you to leave but will make you less likely to compromise.

How was the legal advice?

Basically told me what I thought they'd say. It was best not to leave as he could delay the sale etc. I'm best to try and discuss it with him to get him to agree or they can send him a letter or I can go to mediation. They didn't recommend leaving and renting unless it was absolutely necessary. The best way would be to get him to leave.

Remember if he starts be nasty to record it, any threats and call the police!

Do you do anything to help out his DC? If they start with their nastiness ensure that stops completely and tell them why.

It's an awful situation to be in, I hope he comes to his senses and agrees to sell asap. I would book estate agents to come and value it etc.

Well, it is what is. Are you ready to start the ball rolling?

Again, my first action (when you are ready) would be to begin to live a separate life. The first thing is to arrange separate sleeping quarters. Whether that means doubling up the DC, moving in to a guest room, or turning the dining room into a bedroom. It will send a statement that is unmistakeable; we are no longer a couple. Also be sure that any/all domestic duties you do for him stop. No laundry, no cooking, no picking up after. I'd go so far as to sit him down and say something along the lines of "Until we sell the house, we need to come to a 50/50 agreement on bill paying, just like roommates". Divest yourself of any help you get from him. You'll need to arrange childcare for YOUR children if he's been doing any. Same with school runs and hobbies. Begin to live as a 'single parent'. He'll soon get the message.

In other words, you are letting him know that even if you are living under the same roof, you consider yourself 'single'. Not single in a 'dating way', but as in 'no longer a member of a couple'.

Yes I know this is what I need to do. He's out today with his dcs I don't feel too well, think I'm coming down with something so I'm curled up with my dcs and dogs watching tv. As soon as I feel better I will start sorting things out. I am strong always have been it just takes planning but I know I'll have a few wobbly moments as I know myself! Thanks for the advice x

Just letting u all know, I had the results of my scans etc. All clear it's not spread they got in in time , thank god for smears! Make sure u all go for yours do not put it off!!!!!!

Oh Hallelujah! I'm so glad the results were good!

Great news Rizzo!

Congratulations 🎊 x

Superb news

I echo Rizzo03 's advice about getting the smear over and done with!
Although I put mine off, it was still caught in time and luckily I'm still here 7 years after treatment!