Active discussions

Meet the Other Phone. Only the apps you allow.

Meet the Other Phone.
Only the apps you allow.

Buy now

Please or to access all these features

Talk
Relationships

Mumsnet has not checked the qualifications of anyone posting here. If you need help urgently or expert advice, please see our domestic violence webguide and/or relationships webguide. Many Mumsnetters experiencing domestic abuse have found this thread helpful: Listen up, everybody

Original poster

Dp moody cos I can't have sex for 6 weeks

338 replies

Rizzo03 · 12/02/2017 12:30

I've just had treatment for cervical cancer so I can't have sex for 6 weeks, he knew this right from the start, we are now in week 2 and he's moody, tense and there's an atmosphere. There's also a lot of other things going on, my dad has just died and his ex is causing trouble his dd wants to live with her mum, all adding to the pressure. I just feel really down with it all and I needed somewhere to moan

OP posts:
Original poster
Rizzo03 · 14/02/2017 17:07

That's a good way of describing it x

OP posts:
SandyY2K · 14/02/2017 18:03

I've heard some selfish things in my time, but this really is something else.

The way he's carrying on would actually put me off sex with him for the foreseeable future if not forever.

To top it all, you've just lost your dad. My condolences to you. His behaviour would make me want to check into a hotel for the next month or so.

He can relieve himself while you're ill and the fact that you were contemplating going against medical advice is an indication of the pressure he's placing you under.

teresa2003 · 14/02/2017 18:37

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

teresa2003 · 14/02/2017 18:38

Fecking phone... sorry wrong thread Blush

MsJamieFraser · 14/02/2017 19:55

I've just shown my dh this and he says your dh is a selfish prick Shock

He's astounded by him

SpartacusWoman · 14/02/2017 23:03

I pm nit suprised you're not feeling it. I hope he leaves you alone tonight and doesn't try to use Valetines Day to coerce you. Flowers

Original poster
Rizzo03 · 16/02/2017 08:04

I can't believe what I just heard. Well last night, it came up again, he said he can't be the wimpy man I want him to be, he's a red blooded male and he likes groping my tits and he likes fucking me. He said if he had a vasectomy it wouldn't stop him from having sex 😳.

OP posts:
Lweji · 16/02/2017 08:07

A vasectomy wouldn't.

But you can stop him from having sex, at least with you.
Groping is sexual assault and penetration without your consent is rape.

What did you say to him?

More importantly, do you want to be with him?

Aeroflotgirl · 16/02/2017 08:08

rizzo you have the answer right there. He's a blooming animal. Definitely LTB!

Soubriquet · 16/02/2017 08:08

He really doesn't care does he?

Aeroflotgirl · 16/02/2017 08:09

He sees you as an object to sevice himself, he is not a loving caring respectful partner you need. Sorry he is vile!

Montane50 · 16/02/2017 08:12

He truly doesn't understand does he! It seems like the entire world/marriage revolves around him and his needs.
I always say, in a partnership if you put more in than you take out? Thats a good relationship, and when the time comes if you need more than you've put in? It should be there waiting.
This man is just horrible op

Original poster
Rizzo03 · 16/02/2017 08:14

No I don't want to be with him ! I can't believe his lack of empathy. Well let's see how he deals with being single then, I know I can deal with it!
I tried to explain the usual, then I just flipped and went and slept in my daughters room. There's no kids here at the moment they are with their other parent so at least they not effected right now. I'm just so annoyed

OP posts:
RideLikeTheWindBullseye · 16/02/2017 08:27

'Well last night, it came up again, he said he can't be the wimpy man I want him to be, he's a red blooded male and he likes groping my tits and he likes fucking me.'

Its clear he thinks he's really hot stuff Rizzo; At best he is a sex pest and worst he is a rapist. No woman needs that shit in her life. He has shown you very clearly what he is at one of the most vulnerable times in your life - get rid, this is horrifying.

isthismummy · 16/02/2017 08:35

PLEASE get rid of this dreadful excuse for human being.

His behaviour is so utterly, utterly shocking. He doesn't deserve to spend another day under the same roof as you.

Could you ask him to leave today? The level of mental distress he is inflicting on you should not be tolerated for a second longer.

LotsOfAxolotlsAndOcelots · 16/02/2017 08:45

Riz I've just dipped back into this thread. So is he saying if he was infertile due to having a vasectomy, he would be putting it about because he can't have a shag at home because you have had cancer?

FUCKING HELLS TEETH! LTB. Now. Today.

HelenDenver · 16/02/2017 08:50

His choice to have sex after an operation, even if against medical advice.

Your (correct) choice not to.

But he doesn't see your choice as having any weight, does he?

SixthSenseless · 16/02/2017 08:58

He doesn't get it.

It's not a matter of pain, or roughing it out, it is that penetrative sex will introduce the possibility of infection, and ultimately infection / sepsis might kill you.

'Red blooded ' is a myth. It translates as sexually abusive, in this context.

Topseyt · 16/02/2017 09:10

For "red blooded male" read "sexually abusive arsewipe".

Dump him. If he is so red blooded and strong then he will be fine. You deserve much better.

HelenDenver · 16/02/2017 09:22

Well said, Sixth.

Why does the man who is supposed to love you not care about your choices in sex or about risking your life?

OnionKnight · 16/02/2017 09:26

Reading your posts about him is making my skin crawl OP, he is an utter cunt and you'd be better off without him.

Red blooded male my arse, fucking hell.

Emboo19 · 16/02/2017 09:37

Basically he's saying his 'wants' are more important, than your health and enjoyment!

I've shown my boyfriend this thread and he said 'he sounds like a selfish dickhead, and does he not know how to use his hand'
My boyfriend has a high sex drive but for us sex is about mutal enjoyment and pleasure, he wouldn't want it, if I didn't. And in is own words he's perfectly capable of managing without it and any guy who says he can't, is lying or has some serious issues he should seek help for!

RandomMess · 16/02/2017 09:50

That's is really awful, I mean one of the worst things I've read on here in some ways.

I hope you can move out/kick him out asap I'm sure you don't want to lay eyes on him every again Angry

ohfourfoxache · 16/02/2017 13:11

Pack this fucker's bags.

He really is one of the most vile excuses for a human I've ever heard of Angry

Writerwannabe83 · 16/02/2017 13:31

Bloody hell.

My DH once had to go 20 months without any sex and not once did he make me feel bad about it or make any kind of underhand comment.

He sounds absolutely VILE!!

I'm glad you've seen the light Flowers

Swipe left for the next trending thread