Alright.
Well, there are nice men out there, the problems with finding them are:
Online dating is not natural. It's a wide array of faces to choose from, and it's addictive. Men (and to a lesser extent women) get the sweet shop syndrome, followed by the sweet trolley syndrome.
Sweet shop = so many things to pick. I have nothing at the moment, I want to pick a bit of each. So I'll message loads, and the only thing I judge them on is how shiny and pretty they look in their jars.
Sweet trolley = I have this lovely chocolate cake, but look, there goes the sweet trolley. Maybe I don't want this chocolate cake after all, they have cheesecake and ice cream and fruit salad. I'll see if I can get some of the other stuff.
Then of course we message multiple women, because it's rare that someone we should choose to message actually messages us first. And we carry on multiple conversations, and let some go quiet because someone is funnier, or closer, or more attractive, and possibly if things don't work out we'll go back to the cold irons.
And then we meet someone. And if things go well, we sleep with them. And sometimes they're interesting and funny and a potential partner, but often we don't work out that they're not right until we've slept with them. And then they get all clingy (because of oxytocin etc,) and we pull away, and ghost, and generally act like dicks. And rather than keep moving forward we go back to the sweet trolley, because if a tiny thing about this person isn't right, maybe there's someone else out there who's perfect. I thought this one was, because I messaged her loads, and then she has a weird laugh or voted Tory or something..
This isn't because they're bad man, or just looking for a shag (in many cases) - it's because online dating gives them a false sense of choice, the messaging gives them the opportunity to construct a romanticised perfect version of the woman, and then after time the cognitive dissonance kicks in, and causes them to withdraw, then go back to the wonderful shiny array of women on display, just waiting to be wooed.
Plus, some are just looking for a shag. One third of men's profiles are married men, too.
There are loads of stories of women meeting fantastic men from OD - there have been several Thread weddings before now. Most of the women who were posting on here when I first joined, several years ago, are in long term things still, with men they met then.
The key is -
Weed out the obvious sex pests early
Chat and be funny to the ones who seem okay. Be willing to move on, politely, if you don't gel.
Do not overinvest, and be cautious of them doing the same. Lovebombing is a curse for both sexes
Meet sooner rather than later, and be yourself.
If you want sex early on, be prepared that that may itself cause things to end. The longer you wait, the more likely you'll have a relationship with them afterwards (I'm all for women and men having sex whenever they want to, and there are loads of cases of people sleeping together on the first date and being married with kids, but.. in my opinion, men are often wired to fire and forget, unless you're interesting and funny enough to be better than the sweet trolley)
I've got a date this evening. I want a relationship with someone, I want to come home to someone, and tell them about my day, and listen to theirs, and watch tv together and go on holiday together.
This woman could be funny and attractive and interesting and great. But I know that if I go to bed with her too soon, the pull of the sweet shop will make me think of going back to it, unless I've become emotionally attached to her. Men take longer to get emotionally attached than women do. If that's not there, the sweet shop calls..
(This is why I wait before sex now. I know my faults, I work to avoid them. I'm a good man, but I'm human)