What kind of men use prostitutes?

[Snugglepalace]

Dh has an outside job which involves spending time on various roads within towns and villages.
A couple of weeks ago he was working on a street in our local town. An everyday street with semi detached homes.
After a day or so Dh and his work colleagues noticed one particular house had a lot of 'visitors'. All the visitors were well dressed men arriving in nice cars. It averaged around 4 men per hour!
At lunchtime a car pulled up (the driver had pizzas) and the door was opened,there was an older woman in the hallway and several younger looking women loitering in the hallway also.
Dh and workmates are convinced it was a brothel. Over the weeks that they were working there they would glare at the men going in and said some of them looked very embarrassed once they realised they had been noticed, one even parked in a nearby supermarket and tried to get in the back way.
I know these things go on but what got me was the thought that surely, several, if not most of these men must have (oblivious?!) partners etc.

[TheSparrowhawk]

I am truly flummoxed by women who seem taken in by the idea that there are 'happy hookers' out there.

If you're a woman you know how vulnerable sex makes you, even with someone you adore and trust totally.

Sex with a stranger who is paying and so who expects his needs to be met is an extremely vulnerable and dangerous situation. Even if the stranger does nothing more than he says he will, there is no way a woman can feel relaxed and happy in that situation and there is no way she can come away from years of doing that without some psychological damage.

[NotTheFordType]

OK Sparrow, you obviously find it's nicer for you to live in your little fantasy world where there are no sex workers who are happy with their job. In fact you find that idea so frightening that even when given proof that I am a female sex worker, you just decide - what? that I'm a man who set up a Twitter account as a female escort in June last year in order to troll Mumsnet?! Yeah that's believable

[RockyBird]

Ford no faux concern here but a hope that you are raking it in.

All the best.

[Offred]

Of course there are 'happy hookers' out there.

But if you scratch the surface the happiness is based on the money more than the sex. In Ford's case it also seems to be a maladaptive way of coping with low self esteem re her value in the eyes of men when her body has never and could never conform to the stereotype of 'attractive woman'.

[user1475253854]

I hadn't seen that tumblr before, thank you Devi. It's horrendous.

[Offred]

Some women being happy to be sex workers literally has zero impact on the many very good reasons why the sex industry can legitimately be considered damaging.

[NotTheFordType]

Offred I find OW (oral with condom) very unpleasant to give. OWO and CIM obviously carry a greater risk than OW, but significantly lower than unprotected vaginal or anal.

I test every month as that's the frequency suggested by the sexual health clinic I use (who are aware I'm a sex worker.) I get a throat swab, vaginal swab and blood test every time.

[AssassinatedBeauty]

I can believe there are women who are ok with being a prostitute, and like the money that they can earn. That's totally irrelevant as to whether prostitution generally is a good thing, and also totally irrelevant to the many other women who are doing it because they are desperate, vulnerable and so on.

[Offred]

Basically it is great for Ford that she has a career she enjoys and that pays well.... but it says absolutely nothing at all about the sex industry as a whole. It just says she is happy, that's all.

[AQuietMind]

If you're a woman you know how vulnerable sex makes you, even with someone you adore and trust totally.

I have read this line a few times now but to me its not making sense, I do not feel vulnerable at all when having sex with my dp who loves and respects me, Why would I?

Or am I reading it wrong?

[IneedmoreLemonPledge]

Sparrow if you feel Ford is fake then report her. Stop troll hunting.

I'm the one reporting your posts btw. Before you attack her for that.

[Offred]

Yes, the risk is lower than vaginal/anal sex... but still... you find it unpleasant with a condom...

These are men who visit sex workers. You can't guarantee they only see you or what services they get from other sex workers.

I am aware you can't really test more frequently than once a month but seeing a number of clients per month with whom you/they are having riskier than with a condom oral with adds to the risks for everyone involved.

Surely it would just be massively better for your own health and everyone else's to put up with the 'unpleasantness' of condoms...

But TBH I think you are not entirely honest about that - the clients like to cum on your face and in your mouth don't they? And you would make less money if you didn't allow it which, whilst I'm sure is not the main reason, is at least a reason...

[ArcheryAnnie]

Ford you post here about taking health precautions, and then you post pictures on your twitter of random men's semen in your mouth. You might be fine with that, it's your choice, but to maintain that this is not a risky thing to do is just not correct.

[TheBogQueen]

often these brothels are run by organised crime hands who are into many other illegal activities including trafficking men, women and children into the UK for slavery.

I'm sure some people convince themselves that they are in control and happy, that they are a 'sex worker' in an 'industry' but in my opinion using people for prostitution harms individuals and communities and it should not b legitimised.

That said, while there is so much poverty it will not go away.

[Ftlofg]

If you're a woman you know how vulnerable sex makes you, even with someone you adore and trust totally. I dont feel like this when i have sex with dp -or anyone else for that matter--.

[Offred]

This is thing... the claims... clients are all lovely normal men but then posts and posts on twitter from arsehole men... you are safe and testedand enjoy it but your featured activities/attributes seem to be your body shape (which you blogged about as being uncomfortable with until clients complimented it) and men cumming on your face without a condom (which is not safe and undermines the testing)...

[AssassinatedBeauty]

I wonder about the men that the OP describes visiting the brothel. What would the majority of them do if the prostitute they bought told them that she was in fact only 16 and had been trafficked? Would they help her, would they think it enough just to leave and not use her, or would they carry on anyway and not care at all?

[ShoutOutToMyEx]

There's a quote by Margaret Atwood - 'men are afraid women might laugh at them, women are afraid men might kill them'. I think that's the kind of vulnerability that the PP is referring to. Men are - in the vast majority - stronger than women and, statistically, more predisposed to violence against them.

[NotTheFordType]

As I've stated Annie, there is a risk, which is lower than unprotected intercourse.

Offred, Yes, CIM and OWO gets me a broader customer base. Some SWs charge extra for CIM but I include it in my hourly rate. I don't enjoy giving oral with a condom, and I won't offer a service I dislike.

[Offred]

I think aside from the arsey troll hunting what sparrow meant re vulnerability is that the nature of heterosexual sex is the women being penetrated and being the one who gets pregnant means a woman is in fact more vulnerable - more dependent on a man having respect for her and being trustworthy.

So it might never be an issue if the man you are with is trustworthy and respectful but it only takes one time of the man taking off a condom, chancing 'slipping' into your anus or being a little bit too 'enthusiastic' before the woman is harmed...

[Mrsfrumble]

Holy shit, that Tumblr.... I can't believe how deluded the punters are! Whining about how the women they are paying for sex "behave like they're disgusted" and "are only in it for the money". Complaining about feeling disrespected and that the women are not sufficiently enthusiastic.

Their lack of self-awareness would be funny if the circumstances weren't so damaging for everyone involved.

[ArcheryAnnie]

Well, practically any activity (that doesn't draw blood) has a risk lower than unprotected intercourse. Still isn't a recommendation, still isn't safe sex.

Your choice, of course. But it's not safe sex.

[Offred]

They aren't deluded.

They are entitled.

And there are LOTS of ways the world teaches them to be entitled and perpetuates their feelings of entitlement.

Including 'it is just selling a service'

[NotTheFordType]

And yes of course my Twitter is an advertising tool. My clients choose me in part because they like my body shape; my feelings about my body shape are pretty much irrelevant.

I had very much internalised mass media beauty standards before starting sex work. I even knew a few BBW escorts and still asked myself "How do they stay in business, surely hardly any men fancy them?" It's been very strengthening for me, and yes it is sad and a shame that I couldn't view myself as beautiful without external validation, but that's how it was for me and I don't think I'm in the minority. I know a huge amount of women who are insecure about their body shape or a particular feature and say that they have gained confidence because their DH/DP compliments them and finds them attractive.

It shouldn't be that way, but it is.