How to get DH to snap out of it? 1 week old baby.

[Mysterycat23]

Sorry for epically long ranty post. Not sure where to post this so sorry if in the wrong place.

Recently had first baby 1 week ago. Baby totally fine, struggling with DH.

He has been sleeping the night in spare room while I do nights (bf) and then having baby while I cat nap through the day. However he rolls his eyes at me when I ask for food/drink or for him to do some housework. We have talked and he has said he needs time alone which he is ALREADY FUCKING HAVING while me and baby sleep in the day. He also mentioned wanting to go and do his hobby with mates which tbh I shut down by pointing out he was on paternity leave not on holiday. He's acknowledged it's wrong to go off doing hobby on pat leave but still in a huge piss.

What is fucking me off the most is the food thing. He is not even thinking "hmm lunch time = food". It will get to 2pm, he has not eaten or offered me lunch or even worse made himself a snack and not made anything for me. I'm having to remind/ask instead and then I'm rewarded with the eye roll and the pissyness. By the way the freezer is literally filled with batch cooked meals I bloody well made on mat leave.

I am finding it incredibly hurtful and disappointing. I just don't know what to do to get him to snap out of it. I'm at the point of thinking I will have to cry and scream to get him to grow the fuck up but why should I have to get worked up and be the one to yet again be rocking the boat while he gets to say how demanding I am.

We had a big convo tonight which somehow ended up being about me not listening when he was talking about an actor in a film we were watching and how disrespectful I was being. 😑

Just didn't expect this, when I had terrible ms in first trimester he was fantastic at looking after me and did everything perfectly willingly. What can I do or say to get him to snap the fuck out of it??

TL;DR

1 week old baby, DH prefers to watch Netflix and play Xbox than microwave a tupperware to feed mum. Where can I get a cattle prod?

(But I do realise there's no point arguing about semantics, the important thing is that we agree he is being an arsehole!)

Good point AnotherEmma, language does matter. He's not a man-child, he's a man-bully.

It's like calling Trump a toddler (which I have done), it does a disservice to toddlers.

How are you today OP? Hope you got some sleep.

Has DH been tying himself in knots trying to keep you happy, like you have been trying so hard to keep him happy?
Romantic love is supposed to be reciprocal. Love is actions not words.
Please get out of the relationship as soon as you are able. You could waste years with this man, flogging a dead horse. And don't expect him to step up to the plate and take an ongoing interest in his DC, he's too preoccupied with himself.

Agree with all that's been said so far. Think about it this way: he's being paid atm to take time off work, be around his new child, you're doing all the feeding, he even gets to spend some paid work time playing the X box. And yet it's apparently such an imposition to make you a sandwich or a cup of tea that it makes him almost uncontrollably angry? That's quite some sense of entitlement.

Yy Buttery