"... I did end up sobbing because he was so hostile and when he started with the anger and said he was close to losing it I said what do you mean, are you threatening me, are you going to hit me? That seemed to snap him out of it a bit..." (Italics mine)
Mystery, please listen to the advice which so many others have offered to you. This isn't people being goady - for the most part. This isn't a huge brigade of "LTB!!!", either, really. Because you are, presumably, an adult and therefore capable of making your own choices. But the more you write, the more worried many of us are becoming.
For your safety.
For your baby's safety.
Your husband may inhabit the body of an adult male... but emotionally he is still very much a spoilt little boy. Someone else - I'm sorry, I forget who - mentioned that your husband is jealous of your baby. They're probably right. His behaviour and inattention to both your welfare and your baby's in the last week or so heavily suggest that he resents the fact that your attention is, quite naturally and rightly, focused on your baby and not on him.
Essentially, Mystery, your husband is competing with a newborn baby.
And, soon, unless something changes and he seeks help for his issues, he will be competing with a toddler (and, believe me, having raised two of them and helped raise two others... toddlers are much more attention needy than small babies, in so many ways!).
And, if he continues to think that only he is worthy of your time, attention, love... he will have at least one child who grows up believing that their own father hates them. Which I'm actually pretty sure that he doesn't, deep down. But they will believe that he does. I speak from bitter experience (my father behaved like this when I was born... and my ex - as I wrote in my first post - went home to his parents just prior to the birth of our son, and stayed there. To be looked after, because he knew that I wouldn't stand for his childish nonsense a second time), as I'm sure many others do, too. Your husband isn't actually as unusual as you seem to think that he is in behaving this way. He is, however, a sulky child trapped in the body of a man whom you believed - for whatever reasons - to be better than he actually is.
You really do need to evaluate what sort of life you want for that baby of yours, I'm afraid. To think about what sort of a future you want for yourself. Do you believe yourself worth more than this? Do you crave more for your baby than this? Because unless you do something (insist that your husband gets help for his issues, or leave him - even if only for a short while until he realises what a colossal idiot he's being... which he may well do! Until the next baby is born when he'll repeat these patterns of behaviour towards you/your baby all over again), this situation you have brought an innocent child into is going to get worse!
Your husband's behaviour will escalate.
Which is precisely why you need to do something.
You said in your last post that you asked if he was going to hit you. Do you think saying that to him shocked him into not doing it? Or do you think - as I do, actually - that it shocked him that you knew where his behaviour was heading if he didn't calm down? ANY man who behaves like he did when you were asking him to alter the way he treats you, the mother of his child and his supposedly equal partner in marriage, knows exactly what he is doing and saying. Yes, he was threatening you. He was most definitely warning you, telling you to get back into your little box and behave yourself... but he was also getting exactly what he wants.
Your sole attention.
Your husband has worked out that if he behaves badly towards you, you will devote your time and energy into pleading with him to bring you food, or water, when you're stuck under a feeding/sleeping baby and can't fetch it for yourself, and so on. If he ignores your needs, you will beg him not to. He gets what he wants and he gets to bully you whilst getting it.
Win/win - for him.
But not for you or your baby.
Please, Mystery, understand that you and your son are worth more/better than this man-child is capable of giving you both right now.
As for the "... a bit..." nonsense? He brought himself into check because he realised you're onto him. My bet is that he'll escalate his behaviour now, change it slightly so that you're brought back into line. Then, when you start to believe that this was all a storm in the proverbial teacup... he'll do something to wrongfoot you. Something worse.
Make a choice, Mystery.
Choose your baby.
