husband has been using adultswork.com.

[Maryagness19]

i have just found out my husband has been on adultswork web site why I picked up his I pad I will never know. I logged on as him and I am absolutely deverstated. he was getting e mails and sent his phone number to a working girl.
he claims he never turned up for the appointment and it was just the thrill
there were at least 4 girls he was in contact with.
I really really want to believe he never went to the meeting but I just cant
get passed it. he swears he never went
should I believe him how can I get proof. at this moment in time I am hardly functioning he was the last person I thought would do this.he has deleted his account with them and cant say sorry enough but it just makes it worse appologies just don't cut it.

Well ha said again last night he didn't go it was just the thought of going but why would you go on the site for at least every day for 2 weeks it just does not seem possible he seems such a convincing liar all the posts from others who have gone through it say the same I want to beleive him but finding it difficilt

You are finding it difficult because his story is not plausible, in other words, he's lying through his teeth, I hope you have told him to disappear for now so you can process it all, please don't tell me life is as it was, all nice and cosy for him, he just needs to stick to his lie.

If someone told me the moon was made of green cheese, I would find it "difficult" to believe them

That is because I know it is bollocks

yes, i can't for the life of me understand why you'd want to carry on with a partner who'd admitted booking appointments, i don't think i could trust that person even if that really was 'all' they'd done. How much more of your life do you want to waste with a person like that?

So it's ok for him to be in touch with, not one, but four prostitutes but because he never met any of them (no of course not), it's a slap on the wrist.

He went to the bother of being on a hooker's site for two weeks, just, well, just to pretend to have sex with any of them, but hey, gives out his number all the same - yeah, plausible.

He's insulting my intelligence never mind yours.

For me it wouldn't matter whether he had done it or not, as an outsider looking in. I realise it's not that easy when you're living it. These sites exist for seedy men to take advantage of desperately poor women. We've all heard the stories about the glamorous girls earning £2000 a week who love their jobs and there may even be a couple of them that exist. But 90% of them will be single mums with no skills or young women being coerced into it. My husband having any involvement at all in that works would turn my stomach.

Can you get back on adultwork? His profile will have feedback if he's booked via the site but most guys just call a number and book on the day.
My ex used aw too so I know what to look for.
It's not a site you join without intentions of seeing an escort. He'll have an email address linked to the account too and you have to verify your age on the site too. So it's a lot of effort to join to not do anything.

Your gut will tell you the truth please message me if you want any info on how to navigate around the site.

He's deleted the account

I would sit down and ask him to be completely honest with you
If you speak to him in a calm environment and say you just want the truth he might crack and tell you your worst fears
It's up to you to either accept it if he's told you he didn't do anything or if he admits then again that's up to you
However dont make any decision quickly just take some time to digest it
Thing is if you believe him or forgive him if he comes clean
Won't it be kind of ruined anyway?
Won't you be always wandering ?
That's not any way to live
At the moment you are in shock so give it time and get that talk in asap
And keep asking yourself would you want to stay with him even if you had proof he never went through with it? The fact he has set the account up and made appointments in the first place ?
My boyf used to do that but it was before we met
I found something on his laptop a few months after we got together and I was disgusted to be honest
Didn't really know these things existed !! But he swore that was when he was single and he wouldn't do it again now
2 yrs on and honestly I don't know if that was the truth I would like to think he doesn't and never has been tempted however I must admit
It does still eat me up now even thinking about it and it has chipped away and I often think about should I have just left him then....it's just an awful thing to read and have to go though so I do feel your pain xxx

You can't delete an account, you deactivate it and you have around 3 months before the account is deleted. You log in and it's reactivated, it's common for men to use the site and "deactivate" the account until they next log in.
my ex was a sneaky sh1t

To those who can't understand how someone can contemplate not LTB immediately, usually when cheating happens a relationship will have been deteriorating slowly over years, a subtle decline and it becomes the 'norm'. Finding out about infidelity or possible infidelity with your heart crushed can push you into a denial of how poor the relationship was because of what had become 'norm' and the fear of the unknown at a time of immense emotional distress is terrifying.

A change in residence, friends, social encounters, finance, childcare, responsibilities .... SCARY. OP just found out about this. I imagine you are hurting and scared.

BUT imagine being with someone who tells you every day you are clever, beautiful, querky, imagine feeling utterly cherished without any doubt at all, imagine wanting to make someone else feel like that, a shared passion for making each other laugh. That's the end result and worth it. I stumbled along the path and I don't now have a large beautiful home but a cute character cottage which I choose how to decorate and arrange. I've met lovely people because I now enjoy my hobbies. And yes, I've met someone who is utterly amazing and sincere. Please don't settle for second best or a second rate life because the thought of the path is hard. It's worth it.

Op you think k you have been too trusting.
This is your dh, you should be able to trust him with your life. You've been the riht amount of trusting, sadly he's a shit bag.

RaeofSun your post is so inspiring, thank you for those words. I'm obviously not OP but going through similar emotions

Look here. This happened to me. Swore on his children's life he hadn't done anything. Then when everything was calm I said gently you did use a condom didn't you? To which his reply was of course I did. So there you go.

Checked accounts ATM etc and there was proof going back 10 years. Took a while to process I can tell you.

Ask for all account details and passwords. Of course he's done it.

OP, firstly I want to say that I'm so sorry that your twunt of a H is putting you through this .

Secondly, the fact that you say he has 'deleted' his account on AW is not strictly true - he has 'de-activated' it. The difference is, is that if he does nothing with the website in the next 30 days, then he will have actually deleted his account (it's not possible to retrieve any info).

Before the 30 days are up, he (you) can log back in and access his account- emails, credits, etc. But that is of course, unless he has wiped it clean.

He may well have not gone through the site to actually book someone, but he may have left feedback.

My opinion... He's talking out of his arse! Like other posters have said, there is enough fodder out there, without going done the AW route, and the likelihood of him "I couldn't go through with it 4 times" is bloody farcical!

All of that aside- what sort of man is he?

I'm sorry to add but the fact he'd even registered on that site would be a deal breaker for me. What a horrid situation to be in, you must feel horrendous

Thank you all for your helpful comments I am learning stuff everyday I don't know how on this site to pm you for more info but what I would like to know is if I reactivate his account will they send an email to him to confirm or if I change e mail address to mine and deactivate his account would he get e mail to confirm at the moment I am on overdrive can't think of anything else anything else and doing stupid things like putting the tumble dryer on with nothing in it

Yes. They sent an email to my husband to confirm everytime I did something on his account. I didn't really care if he saw though!

Would it be possible to change the e mail to mine without confirming to his

Log in to his email account on one tab of your computer/tablet, then your own account on another, change the email and accept the confirmation. Done.

Or - make him sit down with you and reactivate his account in full view of you. Go into his message history, but the main thing you're looking for is his feedback. Go to My Details>Edit Profile>View Profile. His feedback "score" will show in the top right corner of the page and say something like "Rating: 10". Click on this link and you'll get a pop up with his feedback.

If he has been using different services then the feedback will be split into multiple tabs, commonly "Escort", "Webcam" and "Phone". If there's anything under Escort then this means he has made a booking and gone through with it (unless the feedback left says "Time waster, cancelled on me" or similar.)

Don't believe him.. He would still be on there if you had not found out for yourself..
So sorry you are in this position I know how much it hurts.. But you can't trust him after that.. There could also be a lot more you don't know..
Feel for you .. ❤️

No, he's a cheat. No non-cheater would even book appointments for a thrill.

You have two choices, stay together or break up. I'd break up.

NotTheFordType, very sensible advice, thank you.

I'm sorry you're going through this OP

Unfortunately I think whichever way you look at it he's completely fucked everything.

In my experience of these things, blokes will minimise and just admit to what you basically know. Then it escalates as you apply more pressure or snoop and find out more information. E.g. he's saying that he only made a booking, never went through with it. Next thing will be that he did go to the appointment, but just for a massage. Then he'll admit she wanked him off. OK, actually it was a blowjob. Alright, yes I did have sex with her - but only once. And eventually it will turn out that he's been having sex with multiple prosititutes every week for years. See what I'm saying?

Alternatively, let's say that he's telling the truth and he just made the booking for the excitement, never intending to go through with it. That would indicate to me that his usual wanking aids (porn? Chat lines?) are not providing the same thrill anymore and he's moved on. So what happens when just making an appointment with a prostitute is no longer exciting enough? How does he up the ante to spice things up? He will turn up to the appointment and have sex with one of them.

O god I feel so ill today everything you are all saying is true. I just can't except it I'm walking round not even able to do anything can't eat sleep living off just cups of tea. He is so so sorry and doesn't want us to break up swore on our gran kids lives it never happened I go from ok I can get through this to omg I cant