husband has been using adultswork.com.

[Maryagness19]

i have just found out my husband has been on adultswork web site why I picked up his I pad I will never know. I logged on as him and I am absolutely deverstated. he was getting e mails and sent his phone number to a working girl.
he claims he never turned up for the appointment and it was just the thrill
there were at least 4 girls he was in contact with.
I really really want to believe he never went to the meeting but I just cant
get passed it. he swears he never went
should I believe him how can I get proof. at this moment in time I am hardly functioning he was the last person I thought would do this.he has deleted his account with them and cant say sorry enough but it just makes it worse appologies just don't cut it.

Wow Newbrummie I would assume lube and massage oil would be for gay sex. Pretty sure I know what I would be doing if I found that. Poor you

adora a bit harsh?!

Yeah, sorry, just does my head in, same script every time on here but yet never a consequence, I don't understand.

Adora financial implications mainly but I have a plan. Please read my thread if you've time.
It's easy on MN to say LTB (and before I went through this I would no doubt advised the same) but you truly don't know how you'll feel until you experience it for yourself . I don't want to make any quick decisions until I've got my head around things. Sorry to derail your thread OP.

I hope you kick him into touch very soon, Mind

Men like this don't deserve loving partners

If the escorts user ID for the site is known and also his then there might be feedback visible. It's possible to search without having to log in or join. Depends if bookings are via the site and also if feedback was left though. If checking please be prepared in case of the worst.

Unfortunately we (escorts) experience multiple time wasters per day, via Adultwork and other advertising. It gets as far as a phone convo, they say a specific time to book, then they just don't turn up - because they've had a wank already just thinking about booking.

Today I had 10 bookings; just 2 showed up.

Of course you don't know whether your man falls into the TW camp or actual punter. Check his bank statements for cash withdrawals around the time of the contact. You could try using his phone to text the escorts and say "hey I came to see you last week, do you remember? I would like to see you again" and see if they reply. But ultimately you may never know.

Feel free to PM me if you want to talk further.

BTW I would NEVER have unprotected sex with a client and I don't know any other SWs who would.

I can't do anything for a while AF but in the meantime I'm focusing on myself. I have joined a walking group, I'm going on holiday with friends next week, I'm am going for a meal this evening with another friend. Had the afternoon off today and went to the pictures so my life isn't all doom and gloom.

Im sorry to hear so many of you are going through this. These men are shits.

Re. staying with them. Imagine wiping their arses in old age and running around after them after what they have done.

Could you honestly say there would be no resentment there?

BTW if there are multiple outgoing text messages to the escort, explicit ones, he's very likely to have never visited. Receiving explicit texts after making a booking is the number one guarantee of a TW for me.

Yes Helena that isn't a pleasurable prospect.

Mind, that is great

But please make sure your new self focused life doesn't become so comfortable you just let a cheating sleaze stay in it, even if it is more on the periphery

These men need consequences

Oh believe me there will be consequences when the time is right for me! It's a weird feeling of sometimes loving him and sometimes hating him but he has no right to spoil the life I have now so I'm making the best of it ( which really isn't too bad at all - thank god for friends)

These men need consequences
YES

Is the gaslighting that infuriates me the most. I'd known for a long time things hadn't been right because of the following :

1. No holidays or even a night away for 8 -10 years
   H excuse - too busy with work and elderly parents.

2. Makeup on bottom of shirt looking like he'd had a BJ
   H excuse- must've rubbed off your face when you were loading washing machine

3. Was meant to be taking me out for wedding anniversary (I was able to send him texts we sent each other detailing arrangement as proof as he denied agreeing to outing) I was dressed up and ready to go at 7pm , H not home, phoned him he was working 200 miles away and forgot to mention it and forgot our "date" and wouldn't be home until 10pm
   H excuse- you don't understand how stressed and depressed I am I can't remember everything

There are many other incidents but I won't go on

It was a relief to find the condoms and viagra in a way as I was doubting my sanity. H still says he's done nothing wrong......err yes you have, you bought them with the intention of fucking someone else!

And they continue to claim they did nothing and the stories you'll hear second hand about why you split will leave you speechless.... you just learn not to care

Yes I can imagine NewBrummie
How are you doing OP?

Not good today everything is going round my head can't eat feel sick all the time an all I think of his him with her

Oh Mary I feel for you. Things will improve with time. Keep strong. Try and eat.

Thankyou for that

I felt the same as you in November. I still have bad days, picturing things in my head like you describe, but those days are getting less. Try and formulate a plan of action in your head to both the following scenarios .... do you want to stay with this man or do you want a future without him?

I'm so sorry for you. But this feeling will pass, it could take a long time but it will. You need to get evidence like online bank statements so you have closure but it looks like he did it.
Are there any escorts reading this? Do men often contact them and not turn up? Because it seems like every husband on MN does.

ThatsWotSheSaid read what NotTheFordType said on page 3 of this thread. Apparently it's very common for them to cancel.

Not that that offers much comfort as obviously they've been looking and had the intention

I feel for you OP. You too Mind. I've been there.

Took me years to leave. Kids were young, we'd just relocated, I was a mess (he's been emotionally abusing me for years).

There comes a moment when you leave. If not now, another 5 years? He won't stop. Eventually after another episode of his fucking around bullshit, where he confessed to lighten his load, I ended it. There and then.

I can't tell you how easy it was.