Parents house, very complicated!

[Emboo19]

I feel bad even putting this on here and it's rather complicated so apologies.
I'm 19 and have a dd, I was due to start uni last year, but it's delayed due to baby. Will be going this year instead. I live with my parents, this is the complicated part.
The house is legally mine, left by great grandma to me. My parents were young when they had me and a bit irresponsible, so my mum wasn't left anything herself. The condition being they could live in it, until I was older also some money was left in care of my grandparents for maintenance/modernisation etc!

I've always known it's mine and me and my parents get on really well, not so much a traditional parent/child relationship though. I always thought/said that once I'd finished uni, we'd look at selling the house and split the money me and my parents 50/50 or they could buy my half. Obviously I didn't plan a baby though.
I went out for lunch with my grandma yesterday and we discussed the house, she said she'd spoke to my mum and she thinks that the we will stick with selling/buying when I finish uni as I've said previously. This will mean I'll still be living with my parents when my daughters 4/5 and I don't think I want that. I've not really thought about it until my grandma mentioned it though.
My grandma thinks I need to get it sorted now and that my parents need to be responsible for themselves, she thinks I should look at getting a solicitor and getting the house valued. My mum and her parents don't have the best relationship, so she's a bit biased.
Obviously I wouldn't see my parents homeless and my mum now has a buissness she runs from the house, so needs to stay really.
Would I be horrible to raise this with them? And how do I do that? What time scale do I give them? They are not very proactive in sorting things at all!

If I didn't have my daughter I wouldn't even bother and probably wouldn't have asked to sell or for any money at all! I've now to think of security for my daughter though and I don't think I'd be eligible for any help towards housing if I legally own a property.

i think it's fair enough to want your DD to have a clear parental responsibility line to you and live on your own with her. I do think the baby/toddler years are hard though and even with childcare they get sick a lot so back-up family support is very helpful. I wonder if you shouldn't just start clearly setting the expectation with them though that when DD is about 4 you want to look to move. What are the schools like around you? Can you use school catchment as a reason to gear this all up without upsetting anyone?

No Rogue, the schools are fab! I'd love to be able to stay in the area to be honest.
I've lots to think about, I'm pretty set on the uni I'd like to go to, but it's another city really close though. Living there might work better for me.
As much as my parents are supportive, she's my dd and they made it clear they won't be doing childcare! Other than the odd babysitting etc, her daddy's mum does far more to be honest.
It's a difficult house to value, we don't have a street where you can see what others have sold for or anything. Had a quick look on zoopla and I think it will be quite a lot more than I thought it would be.

that's a shame from the point of view of an easy to talk about push factor! Yes i think commute time to uni might be the one you want to use!

Hi op,

You sound very kind and caring. I can't get over how irresponsible your parents seem to be.

I wouldn't give them the house or split the money. You need to think of you and your daughter now. If they can afford to go to Australia then they clearly have a relatively decent income.

If you like the house then you should keep it. It would be awful if they got it off you and then lost it due to financial mismanagement.

I guess I"m also wondering how the seliing and giving your parents half came up... Even if your mum was upset that the house had been left to you and not her, it sounds like your gm is around so actually it would typically have gone to her rather than your mum.

I'm just wondering if they planted the seeds of the idea of you selling and giving them half very early on so that it's something that has seen byy ou as tbe obvious thing to do. However if your ggm had wanted you to sell the house and split the money with your parents then wouldn't she have left it like that originally? Plus she left you money to maintain it - if she expected your parents to maintain it then maybe they would have had a claim to part of it's value - but she didn't nor did she even say that they could live there forever - just until you were older and no provision to be made for them afterwards.

I know it might be harsh but you need to think really carefully about whether or not you should sell, let alone give them any money now that you have your dd to think about.

If you do go down the route of selling and buying two properties, there's nothing from what you have said that means you should split the money 50:50 with you parents - so you could split it 60:40 to ensure that you get a decent and nice home rather than something tiny as it is your home (and asset!) that is being sold for them. If they want something bigger then they coukd use some of their savings that they have from not paying rent or mortgage or improvement bills for so long!! Also you could keep the house they live in so it would still be your asset. They could pay you some rent so that they get used to paying rent, you could use it to offset any problems you come up against for owning properties (could your the property be put in trust for your dd and any other dc you have even) but you wouldn't have given away half your assets for them to fritter their bit away rather than lea e it to you?

(And sorry if this cross posts or the thread has moved on in the last hour when I started to type this, dp came in and needed to chat so this didn't get posted immediately as intended!)

I'm thinking that Rogue but I'll be going to uni in September and can't expect them to be gone by then! It is commutable and my boyfriend/daughters dad is nearer that way, as is his mum.
I've got three more weeks before they get back so might try and work out a few potential scenarios and talk with my grandparents some more!
Parents!!! Who'd have them!!!

When you raise it with them you need to have a plan for what you want. What do you want?

I don't really think its about you being unreasonable. i think its about whether they are.

You are offering them 50% of something they don't own. So keep that in mind.

I would suggest you start househunting, find somewhere you like and see if you could afford it with 50% of the money upfront, then money coming in from them for the rest (perhaps they get a mortgage). If you could, show it to your mum and dad and say, this is what i'm aiming for, you can buy me out or I can sell and i'll give you half, dont put pressure on the timing immediately (as that would be unreasonable).

If they are unreasonable about it, just do what you need to do to make the best life for your daughter as best you can with as much of their support as you can.

confuugled1 I only really thought of it as I got older. I think I'll always think of it as their house and would quite like them to be able to stay. It's my family home, I always imagine coming home to it for Christmas etc! If that makes sense?
My great grandma was quite wealthy she had three properties, two she rented out, one left to me one to my uncle and her home left to my grandma. Plus the additional money.

While they are still away get at least 4 EA round to value it then at least you have an idea what the house is worth

I think the best solution is for you to sell the house and buy 2 smaller flats/houses that YOU OWN 100%

Your GGM wanted you to own the property and from reading your posts they don't sound like they would be responsible enough for you to waste money on giving them a share 50/50 or 60/40

So IMHO you might be better keeping control of the money or property otherwise it will be spent or whittled away or wasted on more holidays

Sorry crossed posts

If you want the house to remain in family perhaps get solicitor to draw up contract of lease (not sure of proper term) that they pay you a payment for them to live in house but it is still yours 100%

But I agree that a monthly rent might be hard to collect unless a solicitor can somehow help with contract of it being a standing order or something they can't cancel

Noctilucent it was initially to be left to my mum, she was a bit off the rails and when she got pregnant with me my great grandma changed her will. She wanted me to have somewhere secure to grow up. So my parents had the right to live there with me up until I turned 18, there is some kind of contract in place my gd, was in corporate law and he sorts it all out!!
In fairness my parents won't fall out with me or anything! I just don't want to see them struggle or anything!

You could buy a house or flat and make legal provision that it is in your name but your parents can live there rent free
Still can't get my head round a couple living rent/mortgage free for decades and having no savings 😳🙄

Badders made a Brilliant suggestion. Buy 2 smaller properties but both in your name. This will give you financial security and some space from your parents for your own family.

OP, does your mum pay you for the work you do for her business ?

I agree with Badders, this is the best plan. Do not sell them your house for half it's value whatever you do, you would live to really regret that I think. And don't give them half the proceeds either, they simply don't sound responsible enough for that.

Sell your house (you'll get over the 'family home' nostalgia stuff) and buy two cheaper properties. Let them live in one rent free and live in the other yourself with DD. I understand you wanting your independance with DD, it's not unusual not to want to live with your parents in your 20s with a child and it doesn't sound like you rely on them for financial support or childcare, so living apart wouldn't be an issue. You and your parents both get security but you haven't risked yours for the sake of theirs.

How about suggesting they stay there, with you as their landlord. You could charge a low rent, and use the money left to you to start you on another home either rented or bought.

I thought the OP said the House was left to HER and Her alone in the grandmothers will ? why must she sell her House and give half to her Parents who have been living rent free for 18 years ? I'm not following ?

no I don't think the Op must give her parents anything either, it's the Op that feels she owes them something. I like pickle's suggestion but you could end up being knocked for the rent and then not able to pay your own mortgage, so building in a problem there.

I know I don't have to give them anything, they're my parents though and it's not their money but it's not really mine either, I haven't earned it.
My main concern with buying two properties is my mums business as she uses the house. She did ask me about doing the extension for that purpose as well. That was before I got pregnant and obviously wasn't part of my plans!

Yes Footle my mum pays me.

I always thought/said that once I'd finished uni, we'd look at selling the house and split the money me and my parents 50/50 or they could buy my half. Obviously I didn't plan a baby though

So now your plans will have to change and you should make no apologies for that.
Your grandmother gave it to you as She wanted me to have somewhere secure to grow up

Now you're a grown up and have a dc of you own to think about and provide for.

Your parents will never buy you out and any money you give them will be wasted.
They intend on 'being looked after' by you or GM, they don't want to take personal responsibility for themselves

Don't feel bad/guilty that they have no savings - they CHOSE to spend instead of save.
They can now apply for social housing or rent somewhere else....or start paying you rent if they want to carry on living there.

You don't have that parent/child relationship so actually you're not obliged to provide/help them out of 'duty'.
Your are NOT responsible for your parents, OP, especially seeing as they never had your best interests at heart.
Paying for the decoration was the least they could do for living there for free.

Don't sell your house.
Risk the family fall out - ensuring a secure future for you and your dc is all that matters now.
You will never be able to buy a similar house with the same amenities and neighbourhood that you have here.
Your house has increased in value, and will probably be worth a lot more in the future when YOU decide you need to move.
This is YOUR investment now OP, don't allow them to move you back down to the bottom of the pile.

I think you should discuss this with your grandma from the perspective of needing to put your dd first - just like she did with you.

so you built an extension out of money left to you for her business purposes, and now you feel beholden to replicate that again if you sell up - alternatively, surely she can rent suitable premises herself given the business is no longer a startup? It is your money, maybe your GGM didn't want the money she'd earned being spent foolishly by your Dad.

Don't let them stay there renting when you move out.
They won't pay the rent.
They just won't.

Too late now, but I think your great grandmother has caused a lot of trouble here and should have thought this through more carefully.

I also favour the idea of selling up and buying two properties, you in one and them in the other - but both being in your name.

Although that means your parents gain a great deal, and legally get more than they are entitled to, I think that morally it redresses the wrong of being disinherited in your favour.

OK, so they haven't used the rent free years to save. But they both work, have provided for you, and from what you've said have been good parents who you love.

Your great grandmother should have left instructions to sell the house with all proceeds in trust for you until you were older. She's put you in a really shitty position by playing games with her will. She could have just left the whole lot to her own child - your grandmother - and trusted her to see your parents and you right.