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Original poster

Want to stop shaving....Any advice?

146 replies

lemonzest123 · 19/01/2017 10:43

Hello MN!

I need a few of your wise words, anecdotes and perhaps a kick up the backside!

I've been with DP for about a year and we absolutely adore each other but I really want to stop shaving down below and I'm not sure how to broach it.

While I can shave my underarms relatively comfortably and can epilate my legs, shaving bikini line and beyond is a bloody nightmare.

I've tried extra sensitive gels, super expensive men's and women's razors....Nothing works. After one day I'm in red, blotchy, itchy hell, not to mention the ingrown hairs. It's so sore that it looks red raw and horrible.

DP is generally an extremely supportive and caring man and would usually do anything to prevent me experiencing discomfort but he's been quiet on this one so far - even reminding me he shaves his junk "for me" (despite me repeatly saying I don't care or even notice if he's shaved).

I've let it grow out at the moment on the premise that I'll slget it waxed "soon" but the idea of someone ripping it all out terrified me.

I think I just need to put my big girl pants on and tell him the fuzz stays. A bit of womanly fuzz has got to be a better look than red raw prickly skin anyway!

Help! Has anyone else done this?

OP posts:

DonaldStott · 19/01/2017 13:18

*Worry and hope

Adora10 · 19/01/2017 13:20

my dd doesn't grow up thinking she has to have a baldy minge to pander to any mans fantasy of what they think women should look like, cos they have been watching porn

Absolutely.

Purplebluebird · 19/01/2017 13:24

I'm sure this have been mentioned, but you could use one of those electric shavers that are on the other end of a normal shaver, to tidy it up. Or you can use hair removal cream on the not-so-sensitive areas! That's what I have done for the past 10 years :)

Purplebluebird · 19/01/2017 13:24

if it's relevant, I did this also when single. I do it for me.

MW712 · 19/01/2017 13:31

Bring back the 1980's! Au Natural was all the rage then!

AndNoneForGretchenWieners · 19/01/2017 13:31

I like the feel of it shaved at first but hate the regrowth prickly period. DH isn't bothered either way - so we have come to an arrangement whereby he uses his electric shaver beard attachment to shave me neatly (I like this arrangement as it usually leads to oral ). When I try to do it, I always miss a bit or get bored halfway through.

I don't know how I would feel if he was trying to coerce me into a particular style of topiary, probably quite annoyed and less likely to want to do it but I'm quite bloody minded like that.

Original poster

lemonzest123 · 19/01/2017 14:02

wallywobbles I'm 29 he's 47

OP posts:

Happybunny19 · 19/01/2017 14:03

Kel12345 calm down ffs. I clearly stated it's your choice. I also made it clear what MY opinion is on appearance. Please stop attacking me unnecessarily.

And I have 3 young dcs so one toddler does seem a walk in the park

Wallywobbles · 19/01/2017 15:25

In which case I hope he can't believe his luck. He isn't more important than you. Shaving his junk is something he'll have been doing for a comparatively short time unless he was/is a porn star.

20 years ago this was unheard of for either sex. Even women in porn had pubes then. In the 70s giant bearded bushes where the vogue in porn. Special sub genre of porn now I imagine.

So he does know what normal women look like prior to any personal choices. It's no biggy and if it is that is a massive red flag.

Original poster

lemonzest123 · 19/01/2017 15:40

wallywobbles I did think that! He must have come of age in the big bush era!

Seems a foreign concept to not shave now

Every boyfriend I've had regards it as the norm. It must be a pornography thing.

Weirdly I looked in the mirror this morning before my shower and felt really womanly. I have really small boobies so it's not a feeling I get often!

The fuzz is staying.

Sorry about my use of the word junk! My housemate watches a lot of American TV!

I have no idea why he shaves it tbh. I've certainly never asked him to!

OP posts:

Oblomov17 · 19/01/2017 15:42

Have never shaved or waxed. Only ever used a beard trimer. Keeps it very neat and tidy. No soreness and zero pain.

UpYerGansey · 19/01/2017 15:49

I laser it off. I like feeling smooth in my underwear, and I like how it looks. I feel sexier like this, and I like feeling like that.
Over the years I've had full on 70's, trimmed, every kind of bikini wax, shaved, veered etc and have just arrived at this is what I like best.

I think my bf quite likes it too. We've not had an in depth discussion on it because it's what I do for me, not for him.
He trims the undergrowth a little bit, again, his choice (but I do prefer it a hacked back a bit it must be said. Makes for easier operations down south)

Each to their own.

CouldntMakeThisShitUp · 19/01/2017 15:50

waxing would be the best option....and the shorter the hair the less 'pull' so less 'pain'. Think it only needs to be a few mm in length to be waxable.

I go to Brazilian Waxing Co. to get mine done.
No word of a lie - it takes her around 5 minutes from the moment she applies the wax to the time it's all done. She does in three moves!

Re-growth is slower and softer.

However, if YOU want to keep your hair then just trim it using hair trimmers.

Any guy who got the hump with me for not doing it for him would be out the door.

Just wondering - is he prepared to wax/trim his bits to make it better for your pleasure?

Original poster

lemonzest123 · 19/01/2017 15:57

couldn't I've never asked as it has never bothered me...As I've said, he shaves but I've no idea why. He once said it was "for me* which I didn't understand. Do penises look better shaved? I don't think so. They just look bald.

OP posts:

GeorgiePeachie · 19/01/2017 16:14

PPs asking about pain from tweezers.

I actually find it less painful than waxing and without the irritating heat from waxing. BUT it's time consuming, that's the worst bit. However as a single girl, I have the time between anyone visiting to spend some time on it.

I generally do it after a shower so my skin is soft exfoliated and the hair follicles are softened too.

unlike waxing I don't the pull the hair out against the grain (which hurts). so for example a bikini line hair at the side i'd be pulling it out by pulling down. more like how I pluck my eye brows. In the same way the first one makes you go ooo and then you get into a rhythm.

My skin is smooth, no red irritation or bruising from waxing. I will say ingrown hairs happen still (only on the tougher bikiniline so far) because without shaving my hair doesnt have the sharp point to push through the skin.

Since mentioning tweezing to my friends years ago, I've subsequently found out they both do it now. Just make sure you have enough time, and possibly a hand mirror. and if really sensitive take a paracetamol or an ibuprofen like you would for waxing.

Happybunny19 · 19/01/2017 16:24

It's my understanding that men shave off their pubes to make their penises look longer. I think they look like plucked chickens and thank my lucky stars my dp doesn't need to do it

MrsArthurShappey · 19/01/2017 16:28

Do penises look better shaved? I'm fairly sure penises are naturally hair free!

DameDiazepamTheDramaQueen · 19/01/2017 16:29

I had my eyebrows waxed for the first time before Xmas,I cannot IMAGINE the pain of waxing down below, OMG!!!

Doesn't need to be a discussion,just don't do it any more. He can't possibly find irritated skin attractive,can he?

I'm so please the bald trend seems to be on its way out,it looks horrible.

Costacoffeeplease · 19/01/2017 16:37

I'm afraid, to me, he does sound like a dick and I don't know why you'd even have to discuss it with him

Do what you want, have the courage of your convictions, and don't let anyone make you feel bad about it - the pressure for bald, pre-pubescent genitals is just ridiculous, and at 47 he should bloody well know better (I'm 51 and if any bloke tried this with me, he wouldn't get another opportunity to see whether I'd shaved or not)

GeorgiePeachie · 19/01/2017 16:41

tbf although lots of people say that the bald look is the norm now when I go to the swimming pool changing rooms everyone has some kind of hair. groomed or not. and every girl I've been with has had SOMETHING.

I might ask my FWB to ease up on shaving his. The phrase plucked chicken is definitely going to stay with me...

Adora10 · 19/01/2017 16:49

Just be careful OP that he's not trying to control you, I'd be more concerned about the 18 year age gap than a few pubic hairs.

Thattimeofyearagain · 19/01/2017 16:54

Hairy penis 😅😅😅 < unhelpful >. Seriously, your fanny your rules 😉

Fruitcocktail6 · 19/01/2017 17:11

I wax, the first time is hellish but I've been going for 2 years now and it barely hurts, and takes about 5 mins as pp said.

I do this purely for me. If I'm hairy I find it itchy and sweaty and generally uncomfortable, DP doesn't care. He says he pretends he's in the 70s when it's fully grown at the end of the month.

ILikeyourHairyHands · 19/01/2017 17:18

Lemon you do know that penises are naturally hair-free don't you?

Original poster

lemonzest123 · 19/01/2017 17:26

Oh you know what I meant The generally penisy area.

I think "My Fanny My Rules" might be the title of my autobiography.

Lots of votes for beard trimmers!

OP posts:

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