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Original poster

Want to stop shaving....Any advice?

146 replies

lemonzest123 · 19/01/2017 10:43

Hello MN!

I need a few of your wise words, anecdotes and perhaps a kick up the backside!

I've been with DP for about a year and we absolutely adore each other but I really want to stop shaving down below and I'm not sure how to broach it.

While I can shave my underarms relatively comfortably and can epilate my legs, shaving bikini line and beyond is a bloody nightmare.

I've tried extra sensitive gels, super expensive men's and women's razors....Nothing works. After one day I'm in red, blotchy, itchy hell, not to mention the ingrown hairs. It's so sore that it looks red raw and horrible.

DP is generally an extremely supportive and caring man and would usually do anything to prevent me experiencing discomfort but he's been quiet on this one so far - even reminding me he shaves his junk "for me" (despite me repeatly saying I don't care or even notice if he's shaved).

I've let it grow out at the moment on the premise that I'll slget it waxed "soon" but the idea of someone ripping it all out terrified me.

I think I just need to put my big girl pants on and tell him the fuzz stays. A bit of womanly fuzz has got to be a better look than red raw prickly skin anyway!

Help! Has anyone else done this?

OP posts:
sleepachu · 19/01/2017 12:33

I don't think he's automatically an arse for expressing an opinion, but he is if he pressures you about it. I wouldn't make it sound consultational, especially with a boyfriend of a year. Just matter of factly tell him you're not doing it anymore.

sleepachu · 19/01/2017 12:36

having no pubic hair is not a real woman

I promise you, there's no correlation Hmm

HarmlessChap · 19/01/2017 12:38

Your body so your rules, but it can affect oral. Possibility of TMI here!

Back in the day, before all affection dried up, Mrs HC would sometimes shave, sometime trim or in Winter grow out a massive bush which spread down her thighs.

Shaved or trimmed was fine but being expected to bury your face in a jungle was not. I don't know if it was an accumulation of sweat or pee splashing but it was unpleasant not to mention pubes in the mouth. While smooth was the easiest, trimmed seemed was fine but stubble was uncomfortable.

While blow jobs have never been on offer for me, I do know a couple of guys who shave purely as their partners won't give them otherwise. So it does go both ways.

Adora10 · 19/01/2017 12:41

even reminding me he shaves his junk "for me"

This is why I think he's a dick.

Adora10 · 19/01/2017 12:42

While blow jobs have never been on offer for me, I do know a couple of guys who shave purely as their partners won't give them otherwise. So it does go both ways.

Is it just me but what difference would it make if a man shaved, nobody is going to reach that area giving oral, unless of course he's got a teeny weeny one.

Original poster
lemonzest123 · 19/01/2017 12:42
Shock

He's not a dick or an arse, he's really lovely I think he's just got a preference and been a bit clumsy about expressing it.

Ellisandra he would LOVE to give me oral but alas I don't like it.

OP posts:
MrsArthurShappey · 19/01/2017 12:43

What? You're going to text him to say you're going to stop shaving your pubes? Just stop, and don't say anything! If he asks say you don't want to do it any more. End of!

Adora10 · 19/01/2017 12:45

But yet you are having to ask his permission not to shave....

MrsArthurShappey · 19/01/2017 12:46

And you think your pants look better when you've shaved? Why do your pants need to 'look better'? I'm all for pretty underwear if you want it, but this is strange to me.

BumDNC · 19/01/2017 12:50

I cant afford the justification of waxing on a regular basis, although I much prefer it to anything else. Poor Bf just has to put up with either red raw and spotty or stubbly. I can't use veet it burns so bad! Have they changed it? BF wouldn't say or ask for anything but I am self conscious that whatever I do looks crap

sleepachu · 19/01/2017 12:52

"Is it just me but what difference would it make if a man shaved, nobody is going to reach that area giving oral, unless of course he's got a teeny weeny one."

Or unless you have a certain skillset...Halo

Original poster
lemonzest123 · 19/01/2017 12:52

I think pants will look better with the edges done...

I've got some really pretty underwear and I do think it looks nicer on me without the bush on thighs.

Have tweezed before as an experiment and the thigh hair seems to hurt a lot less than all the rest so I think I'll attempt a bikini line wax and a wee trim.

If it's too painful or my skin breaks out again I guess we'll both just have to get used to all of it!

Those mentioning clippers - do they leave you a bit spikey? DPs beard gives me a bit of a sore face right after he's clipped it

OP posts:
Believeitornot · 19/01/2017 12:57

Use sudocrem after shaving. Loads of it.

It helps massively with ingrown hairs after shaving. I rarely get problems since using it.

I have horrible thick pubic hair which grows well beyond the polite boundaries of my underwear. I consider it a public duty to remove my hair. If i didn't have to then boy I wouldn't bother. But sudocrem has made it bearable.

kel12345 · 19/01/2017 12:57

Happy bunny- a lot of time on my hands with a toddler? Hardly.. I just go over it each morning in the shower- takes less than 2 minutes to do.
And I didn't say op should do it for her boyfriend, I said she should do whatever SHE feels comfortable with, and it's her choice.
Also I can't stand any hair down there, I don't think it looks weird at all. But yes it's my body and my choir and I will continue to do so, I don't need your permission thank you.

BumDNC · 19/01/2017 12:57

The problem with tweezing is how uncomfortable it is on your neck and back for a long period

HarmlessChap · 19/01/2017 12:59

Adora10 It came up once in a conversation, the guy that said it is very hairy but I don't know how well endowed he is; a couple of our gay friends (who are together) agreed that it was not negotiable for them either. The conversation then descended further....

Frankelly66 · 19/01/2017 13:00

Laser hair removal? Works soooo well. My privates are like the inside of my arm. Sooo soft and smooth. Highly recommend. Can't believe more people don't do it.

Original poster
lemonzest123 · 19/01/2017 13:03

Ohh frankelly is it expensive and painful?

OP posts:
BumDNC · 19/01/2017 13:05

Laser can cost thousands and take a very long time

TheThingsWeAdmitOnMN · 19/01/2017 13:06

Lemon123. The key to enjoying it (for me at least) is being freshly showered and knowing they really want to do, that it's turning them on. In the past I've really not enjoyed it, because the vibe was 'they were doing it FOR me' - generally, I think, so I'd feel 'obliged' to reciprocate. Fools. A) I don't do things I don't want to & B) I like giving BJ's, 'bribery' not required! 😬. If you can relax in the knowledge they they are doing it because they want to - it can be amazing. It can be bloody boring too if they're not very good, but again, that tends to be guys who aren't really that turned on by it.

If you know he would really love to, then have a little think about it...you might actually really enjoy it if you can let yourself go.

AnnieAnoniMouse · 19/01/2017 13:08

Frankelly do you remember how many sessions you had & the approx cost? Do you need any/many top up,sessions? I'm seriously tempted.

Original poster
lemonzest123 · 19/01/2017 13:14

I can't. I really have tried because I know he enjoys doing it but it just makes me cringe having someone's face down there!

OP posts:
ILikeyourHairyHands · 19/01/2017 13:15

Just for balance HarmlessChap, my DH (and previous partners) have loved the smell of my bush when giving oral, so I can quite confidently say not all men find it a turn-off.

And I like to nuzzle the pubes of my lovers too and would find the plucked turkey look most off-putting.

As you say, it goes both ways!

Wallywobbles · 19/01/2017 13:17

To be frank if he's not even doing oral on you then he gets zero say and no right to an opinion. What's the age/experience gap here?

I get it waxed to varying extents, not all off, when I have a reason to do it, and its a nice treat for us both (afterwards). Its not too painful, but it isn't fun either. I would be horrified if my DH shaved his junk. I would tell him you prefer him au naturel too.

Before waxing DH trims the bit I want to keep down a bit. When I did it myself it ended up like velcro, which wasnt the intended effect. But I tend to leave everything in between times.

For what its worth I like oral much more now I'm older. Might be worth having another very gentle go.

DonaldStott · 19/01/2017 13:17

I believe laser hair removal is not a good idea due to age and gravity. Baldy, saggy, fanny lips aren't any more attractive in older age, than having pubic hair to hide it.

I really worry hop my dd doesn't grow up thinking she has to have a baldy minge to pander to any mans fantasy of what they think women should look like, cos they have been watching porn.

It's quite sad really that somebody needs to post on a forum to ask whether it would be okay.