A man should always pay on the first date IMO, as well as covering all the significant spends in the early days, although the woman can buy the odd few drinks or coffees here and there.
This is what I would do: wait for a man to ask me out, accept (assuming I liked him and thought there was a serious chance of things going further) and, if he was suggesting a flashy dinner, tell him I'd be happy just to do drinks. If he persisted with the dinner idea, I'd order from the less expensive end of the menu, and allow him to choose the wine. When it was time to pay, I'd let him make the first move, but I would offer to split it - not because I consider myself obliged to do so (he asked me out, afterall) but mainly so that I could see how he responded. If he accepted my offer, I'd pay, say my goodbyes and be sure never to see him again. If he refused, I'd thank him sincerely and tell him how much I had enjoyed myself. I certainly wouldn't feel obligated to have sex with him, or even see him again simply because he had bought me some food.
Although I would not have sex with a man just because he had paid for dinner, the fact that he did so is going to make it a lot more likely I'll want to shag him. I think it's important to establish the sexual dynamic in the early stages of dating, and the man deciding where we go, organising it and paying for it is a big part of doing that. Of course it's not equal, but what on earth does equality have to do with sexual desire? I really don't mind paying my way, and always do so when I am out and about with male friends, but if a guy wants to go Dutch on a date, that's where he'll end up - in the friendzone. It just kills the attraction. Him not paying is the equivalent of me turning up in my tracky bottoms and trainers, with hair undone and no make-up. It shows he is not that bothered about me, that he's not interested in impressing me or showing himself in the best possible light.
The equality issue is a red herring, in my view. Did he spend 2 hours getting ready for the date, removing every hair on his body, applying make-up and putting on uncomfortable shoes? No - he probably spent ten minutes in the shower. Did he get out of work early to get a manicure and his brows threaded? No, of course not. Did he have to arrange for an expensive babysitter to look after his kids. Unlikely. And is he coping, on a day-to-day basis with an economic settlement that greatly penalises him for the basic facts of his biology. No, he isn't. So I think he can cough up for a couple of drinks, don't you?