Dating thread no 112, still searching for a valentine.....

[Lovemusic33]

Hope it's ok for me to start a new thread as the other is full, I have copied and pasted the rules.

I know these threads have come in handy for many dipping their toes for the first time into OLD. So here we are again ... another 1000 posts down:

1. The first rule about the dating thread is you don't talk about it with people you're dating.
2. Develop a thick skin.
3. Do not invest emotionally too soon.
4. It's all BS until it actually happens.
5. Trust your gut instinct.
6. People vanishing, lying & being generally weird is not your fault.
7. You are the prize-they should be trying to impress you.
8. If it's not fun, stop.
9. Loo update is mandatory.

10. No dating the thread. *edited by MNHQ at OP's request*

If you really like her Info, I'd say keep with it n get that date...sometimes when u meet things aren't the same. I went along to meet mr security feeling very meh and not into it one bit...I came out with butterflies thinking 'have I finally met someone special at long last!?'

My iron who deleted his POF account yesterday reappeared. He said he got locked out of it and it got deleted. I've seen other comments about this happening so I think it's true. His last message had been to give me his phone number.
So we reconnected & are meeting this afternoon for a very quick coffee as I don't have much time. Now I'm very nervous about meeting him.

Meanwhile MrPhd, who doesn't message much, has sent a whole series of texts this morning. So far date2 with him is on this Saturday. But I'll only believe it when it actually happens.

Good to hear there are success stories.

Good luck for later Runnny and Saturday.

Info you have to go on a date with her now, I, for one, am desperate to know what WG is like!
Date 3 is looming!

On the issue of persistence....I had this conversation with my therapist (my font of all wise information - apart from Bant!). I totld her about how my Overseas man had extended our match by another 24 hours (this is on Bumble where you only get 24 hours to respond and I had ignored him at first).
She said "oh, you like to be chased...". I realised that actually yes I did. I like a man to show effort and to make me notice that he really does like me or want to know me.
My therapist said it is perfectly OK to like to be chased because it validates and empowers you. You still have the element of control, but you equally know that you are valued, that you are attractive, that you have something that person wants.
Suddenly someone who didn't seem attractive before, becomes more attractive once you realise they are actually serious. it makes you feel good - and you realise it is that person making you feel good. A great start to a relationship!

I am pleased Mr OS was persistent.

Hope date goes OK Runny

Info I think you need to pin WG down for a day to meet up

All makes sense remember about being chased, it does make you feel worthwhile

I like to be chased, I'm finding it a bit annoying that Mr Mod is not much of a chaser, I'm starting to feel like he's like Info's iron, sometimes he will message and chat for ages, other times he just vanishes after a couple messages (like today, he messaged to tell me how his meeting went yesterday, I messaged back to tell him how my day was going and I didn't get a reply), I can see that he's on whatsapp, he was on their from 7.30am but didn't message me until 11.30am so I'm not really feeling that I'm that high on his priority list. I really need to stop checking whatsapp . It's my birthday next week and I have a feeling I will be spending it alone and Valentine's Day, he says he's really into me but doesn't show it and I am beginning to lose interest.

So finally 2 weeks after my first date with mrchef date 2 is supposed to be tonight. I now realise how hard it is to date a chef with his own restaurant. We chat a lot, so it's not been too bad. But last night he said he might have to cancel as short staffed! Ggrrr, we've messaged this morning but no mention of tonight! He working now, I was feeling miffed last night and did some swiping, got a couple of irons going. Considering calling it quits with him, shame because we get on so well, can't be doing with left hanging though!

Lilac, you're update is really good

Wingle, that sounds really frustrating

info, I'm another in the 'she sounds hard work camp'. Hard work and not very interesting either - sorry. Please don't over invest to early on.

Ok do dates still on, he couldn't get cover early so we are going out later, I've had 1 phone call and 2 messages apologising ... I'll forgive him. Not 100% there's a spark, so I think a kiss will be needed!!

wingle I hope your date goes well. Kissing is a good way to see if there is a spark.

My date today was good even though I only had an hour to spare. We've been messaging for about 2 weeks on and off so when we met it was like we'd known each other for ages. There was a fair bit of kissing at the end. Just checking for sparks! I've had a text to say he enjoyed meeting me so hopefully there'll be date 2 soon.

I think most of us (women) will admit to liking being chased a bit... (not in the stalker-y way!) (and no - not everyone will!)
When MrBright & I were in the early weeks, he said - in a light way now - that he was very much enjoying the chase, and that he thought he'd enjoy the rewards at the end even more 😉
That was almost a year ago now. Still enjoying...
And to think I threw the towel in on it in a mad panic after a few weeks.

Upyergansey I have form for throwing in the towel easy, especially if I like them as I think I just try n protect myself from later on..I'm just trying to keep cool yet friendly to mr security...hoping for date 3 tomorrow. Thinking moose burgers maybe on the menu as heavy petting in the car happened on the second date didn't feel wrong tho which it usually does

I'm glad your faith has been restored @runny

info personally, I wouldn't stand for a friend arranging something and then flaking out, so certainly wouldn't stand for a date doing it. Hate flakiness- it's rude. (Others are more tolerant of it, though).

Finally had date 2 with Mr Anarchist last night. It's funny how different layers come out in a person the more you get to know them, isn't it? (obviously I have hardly delved down into Mr A's layers that much as it were, I'm musing on getting to know past boyfriends, too).

I was worried he seemed pretty arrogant on the first date- I now think that this may have been bravado. The conversation was easier and more mutual this time; last time he did a LOT of talking and, interesting and impressive as his talk was, I did find myself thinking "This isn't a goer if he's going to carry on like this!"

I perhaps fancied him a bit less this time, though. He is borderline too old. But fancied him enough for a kiss and cuddle before we said goodbye, though .

But we do have a LOT in common.

Anyhoo, dinner chez lui on Friday. Lots more layers to unwrap, both actual and metaphorical then .

So mooseburgers on date 3 considered respectable here would you say stubborn?

I'm going to see how I feel (and how he feels too, considering he spent the whole of TS2 trying to work out an adult, non- looking-like-a-15-year-old way of putting his arm around me ).

I'm planning on waxing my legs, though. Let's leave it at that .

Well I've been in the tat chair all day today, was great fun.

Decided not to pursue WG further. I've confirmed the date a few times, my work is done. We spoke about today so if my name appears in her thoughts at ANY point, she'd ask how it went.

I'll just leave it in her hands now, I've chased enough.

Yeah info, you've chased enough.

The tricky thing for us is working out what is the right amount of pursuing, what's stalky, and what's standoffish.

And then throw into the mix the fact that some women thrive on feeling wanted without actually being arsed to meet someone (obviously men do this too)

Thick skin. It's not you. If it was, she wouldn't have said yes and would have ignored your messages. Some people are just in the wrong place.

(I do not mean Newcastle. Although...)

Just back from my date with mrchef, it was so much better than the first date. Definitely a spark, lovely snog, date already arranged for next Wednesday meal and cinema, feeling pretty pleased, glad I didn't rush into calling it quits

Mr Art has been in touch today to arrange another meet this weekend and I am quite giddy.
Awkward when not dating for long and Valentine's Day looming... I think I will end up making a joke of it, it's too soon to make plans like that when you haven't had a gf/bf conversation I think too. I also think I'm saving myself from disappointment on some level...tricky

Info - I think that's the right approach with WG

I do like a morning text from guy I'm dating, proves I'm in his thoughts first thing. Mr security doesn't do this...

Delighted for you wingle!
Third date MB is eminently respectable stubborn
would so have jumped him at end of marathon date two

Anyone else dreading V Day? To mark or not to mark it?? I (personally) find it tacky and commercial so slightly befuzzled at how to tackle it... And I bet he feels the same.

Date 3 went really well! He brought flowers, open doors etc (I love a bit of romance!) Good snogs and dates 4 and 5 planned.(Date 5 is "date 3" for me this time as playing things a little safe )
So now the anxiety starts.......things always go wrong after date 3 for me, and now I've decided I quite like him I feel like I might jinx it!

Sounds like things are going well for many of us at the moment (sorry info but hope the tat makes up for it)

I've got date 4 tonight...going out for dinner then hopefully back to his

bernie - how lovely. He must really like you too.

Ooh some lovely updates here this morning! Great kissing, nice dates and more planned all sounds very positive!

I had first telephone conversation with CBG last night to talk about and arrange our first meet Friday night. I had a bit of a shock by his very strong south London accent, he sounded very Del Boy and initially I was a bit put off. But we chatted easily for a good hour and he came across personality wise the same as he does on message which is very sweet and a little inexperienced/naive so I liked that he doesn't appear to be a typical POF player type. He's told his friends he has a date and seems a tad over invested which is always a worry bit newbies are often like that. im not a newbie and often guilty