My ex is back in contact

[Bigfluffybear]

Hello long time lurker but decided to post for advice. Please be nice to me!

Your son being upset was totally your fault - for introducing him to the married man you were fucking.

Yes, you're an idiot.

You are an idiot and it was 100% your fault for your son being upset

Like I said, why the hell did you think it was a good idea to introduce this scumbag into your son's life, when you knew it was going to get anywhere!

And you know exactly where this is going to go if you stupidly message him, you'll to running back and bring him back into your son's life for it to happen all over again

I don't even know why you're saying you was angry you upset your son when it finished.

YOU KNEW IT WAS GOING TO END BECAUSE HE WOULDN'T LEAVE HIS WIFE and you still had him in your son's life

You couldn't even put your son's best interests first because you were more concerned about this " amazing connections and continuing to shag a married man

Believe me i was angrier at myself

Get back together with him, save anyone being subjected to the pair of you. You can be his new wife whilst he goes off and acquires a few mistresses.

I can sympathise. Had a similar relationship when I was 18 and he was 38. Mine did leave his wife and we moved in together but the guilt felt at ruining the lives of his wife and children soon made it far from the terribly romantic love story of my adolescent fantasies. Fast forward a good 20 years and we are again in touch. I reached out to him purely from curiosity (he really was my first love, I still dream about him a lot and we'd discussed putting things on hold until his kids were older and I'd finished university) and there was part of me that would like to have seen if there was still a spark or if I could finally stop wondering about what might have been. Luckily for me he seems to have destroyed his once brilliant brain with drugs and posts so-stupid-I-want-to-eat-my-own-fist conspiracy theory shite on FB making me as unlikely to rekindle a relationship with him as to eat my own poo.
If you don't respond to his message you will always be left wondering. Maybe reconnecting with him will let you finally see who he really is and let you well and truly get him out of your system.

YY to kinkyafro and then you can upset your son and feel angrier at yourself when you find out he's been fucking someone else for 2 years behind your back

Thanks shocked. I havent yet messaged him. My son is older now aswell and im.a good mum.

I suggest you have a look around his facebook page etc to see what's happening in his life. Something may have happened that meant that falling back on someone that he could, for want of a better way of putting it, manipulate looked good. As in, in the past he persuaded you to have an affair with a married man who was never going to leave his wife. Also, there's a good chance that he has never seen you as 'wife' material. He may have that madonna/whore thing going on so he sees you as sex, not relationship. Ten years ago you may not have had the life experience to see what was going on.

Sorry to be blunt, but I hope this may at least help you question where everyone is now.

I have looked on his facebook but not added him as a friend so cant see too much. I havent messaged him yet but will do tonight when i have time. I dont see the harm in us meeting i can control myself and want to catch up

What do you want to happen OP?

I would like a catch up olivia we were good friends as well x

Why do you want to catch up though? That is the question.

He has form for lying. He did to his wife for years and that is just what you know about How can you possibly believe a word he says?

Good luck OP, I'll await your post after the first couple of meet ups

Sorry but to me 'catch up' is a bit of a undescriptive phrase. Are you simply wanting to know how he is and what he has been up to or are you hoping to rekindle the relationship? You said you were good friends but then you didn't speak for 7 years. That isn't the sign of a close bond to me.

I'd look into truly what you want to happen / gain from messaging him back.

Ive messaged him back were meeting up for lunch tomorrow.

That happened quickly!

Well you certainly were desperate to meet up wasn't you bloody hell

It's lunch that's all

But you've not spoken in 7 years and you claim you were really good friends. Clearly not that great

Good friends don't fuck knowing they have a husband/wife for 2 years

I'm bored of justifying myself it's lunch to catch up. I had lunch with a girl I went to uni with and hadn't seen for 4 years before Xmas how is this different?

Did you have a two year adulterous relationship with her?

Good luck. I'm not being sarcastic, btw. He messages, you wanted to meet, you're meeting tomorrow. Hope all goes well :-) have fun!

Ah so you done it OP? Following the script, are we?