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Original poster

Does the amount of fathers really matter?

515 replies

Busybeesbum · 12/01/2017 10:34

Hi I'm a mum of four aged 10 to 2. I'm single and dating when I get time. My children are to 3 different fathers although my ex husband took the 2 on I already had when we met and is a good dad to all of them.
However I worry I'm going to be judged if I get serious with someone and tell them about the different fathers. I won't lie or pretend to be something I'm not but how do I get past the judgement?

OP posts:
birdybirdywoofwoof · 18/01/2017 14:32

Why is it rude, Busybees?

Busybeesmum · 18/01/2017 14:36

Telling me to leave my ex alone is rude birdy

MuseumOfCurry · 18/01/2017 14:43

Telling me to leave my ex alone is rude birdy

Unless you can 100% accept that you're done having children, you should leave him alone - and you yourself say you have no control over your baby urges.

His wishes should be abundantly clear to you, given that he's had the snip.

Busybeesmum · 18/01/2017 14:48

He is thinking about the snip hes not had it yet.

Bant · 18/01/2017 15:38

So if he had had the snip, given the fact that you've got four children already, and assuming he didn't treat you badly and seems to be a great father and stepfather to all four children - but if he wasn't able to have more children, would you get back together with him?

I know that if a man were in this situation and wanted to father as many children as possible, and broke up with his wife because she couldn't conceive, in order to take the kids and chase after a fertile new prospective wife to have more kids by..

Well he'd be seen as sick.

I feel truly sorry for your ex. I hope you can come to your senses and work this out, for the sake of the kids

Busybeesmum · 18/01/2017 16:10

Well my ex obviously doesnt think a bad person and i suppose that matters more than what anyone else thinks. bant he wouldnt just go and have the snip if we were together without a discussion first. He knows i want more children

Bant · 18/01/2017 16:28

And you know he doesn't.

So would you get back together with him, if there were no more kids on the cards?

birdybirdywoofwoof · 18/01/2017 16:30

£10 says the op will tell him she's on the pill tonight.

SheldonCRules · 18/01/2017 16:39

I really hope this is a windup.

If he does want to get back together it's because of you and the children, for you it's his sperm as you don't want him without it.

Birdy, I imagine that bet is a dead cert.

Pluto30 · 18/01/2017 18:42

Christ alive, OP. You have pages of people telling you that you're selfish, irresponsiblel, and that you should seek help for your pregnancy and baby addiction (which is what this is), and you've taken absolutely none of it on board.

Your poor kids, honestly,

Twogoats · 18/01/2017 18:55

Op, please tell your ex to break up with his girlfriend! That poor woman! Sad

Huskylover1 · 18/01/2017 20:04

Urgh, what is this obsession with having so many kids?

Don't you ever want to move on to the next stage in life, where you aren't having to still play Mummy? Is it a complex of always needing to be needed?

Me and DH are mid 40's, both of our kids are adults and have left home. Tonight we will have dinner and some wine, and after that jump into the hot tub. No screaming kids. Because, we did all that already.

How do you even look after and feed 11 kids (or 6), let alone give them enough emotional support, when you are so thinly stretched?

Each to his own, but I just don't get it!

Busybeesmum · 18/01/2017 20:52

Birdy you obviously enjoy being rude to people you dont know

birdybirdywoofwoof · 18/01/2017 21:53

I apologize. What a disgusting and outrageous thing to suggest!

Busybeesmum · 18/01/2017 21:56
Angry
birdybirdywoofwoof · 18/01/2017 22:21

I'm sorry, look, you're a young thing with children and a career, and a whole lot of other stuff going for you I'm sure. Why not just try and enjoy yourself a little without this whole 'must-make-babies' thing?
Counselling might help (not meant snidely) Flowers

Bant · 18/01/2017 22:25

birdy is rude, but I think she's right.

busybees - do you at least understand that almost everyone on here is saying you have a problem, an addiction, and that you're sacrificing your children's wellbeing because you're pursuing it?

Busybeesmum · 18/01/2017 22:27

I do bant. My ex wants to get back together and make another go of itGrin

Pluto30 · 18/01/2017 22:43

Poor bugger.

And don't even get me started on the girlfriend.

Or the kids involved.

I'm sure he'll take off again the second you start the baby talk.

Busybeesmum · 18/01/2017 22:56

We had a good chat pluto. Hes going to speak to his gf tomorrow and end it with her.

Pluto30 · 18/01/2017 23:32

The point is you don't seem to feel anything for her situation at all. That's Confused. It's as though he's yours and you've the right to him, and she's a mere object in the way. Fucking awful.

Busybeesmum · 18/01/2017 23:37

Shes his problem pluto. Im not in a relationship with her

Pluto30 · 18/01/2017 23:39

I'd say you're his problem, actually.

You've no regard for a relationship you're now interfering with.

Busybeesmum · 18/01/2017 23:42

Im not interfering pluto. He did marry me and have two kids with me he obvs wants to be with me

Farmerswife1984 · 18/01/2017 23:50

"Of course I'm on the pill honey" ..........3 weeks later BAM she is pregnant and he is dumped