Heading for a breakdown.....emotional abuse

[kath1987]

I have been with my partner for just over 2 years.....I thought he was the best thing to happen to me and my son (currently 4) how wrong I was. Things were fantastic for the first year. We decided to buy a house in a small village (quite a way from where I had spent my whole life) in February last year. Since then things have gone from bad to worse and I'm spiralling into such deep depression I don't know what to do. He's controlling and mentally abusive. I found out I was pregnant in may and he started being controlling and sometimes quite aggressive. He smashed my front room up at one point and unplugged the battery to my car so I couldn't leave. Ive suffered with anxiety and mild depression since before I met him anyway so this just made me feel so weak. The past few months on the build up to Xmas and the birth of our son have been great. He even proposed on Xmas day and I said yes as I felt so happy with him.....he was back to the man I fell in love with. Our son was born on New Year's Eve and he was fantastic at first...really supportive after a difficult labour. But the past few days he has just totally changed. We re due to register the birth next week and I said I wanted my sons surname to be the same as mine (same as my 4year old) The past 2days have been a nightmare. He's threatened me with everything possible. From taking my newborn son off me, kicking me and my children out on the streets, financially skinting me. He says never to think I can outsmart him because he will always win and he will do anything he can to make sure I come out worse off. Please help me!

Please speak to your midwife or Health visitor. You mentioned you are in East Yorkshire. Google DVAP East Yorkshire, they are a support service for your locality and will be able to help you. They have an email address if that's easier or safer to communicate that way. I have added a link I hope it works. Women's aid are also fantastic and a 24hr service. Stay strong and safe.
www2.eastriding.gov.uk/EasysiteWeb/getresource.axd?AssetID=641271&type=full&servicetype=Attachment

My OH won't tell me what time he's at work tomorrow so no idea if he attending the midwife appointment. Last night DS was crying (could hear him on the monitor) so went upstairs.....OH is in bed blatantly ignoring him. Get DS out the cot and start to change him and he's obviously crying still. "Will you shut him up....he never normally cries like that so whatever you're doing to piss me off then pack it in" 😡 He seems so detached from the baby most of the time but then when I'm crying or upset he takes him off me x x

Just walk away when he goes to work. Walk away and never look back. Take your two children, a few clothes, passports and baby's book and just go
Go to your dad's. Get looked after for a while and then work out a plan to move forward.

Hi OP

We hope you don't mind us dropping by again.

We just wanted to make you aware of our webguide.

It's full of support and so please do take a look, and as Iona said, do let us know how you're getting on.

I really feel for you op.
I left my ex husband 13 1/2 years ago with a 6 week old baby and a toddler of almost 2. It's scary but you can do it. It was hell at first as he threatened me and became violent and still sometimes sends me nasty texts even now.

You can do this for your children. It will be hell at first as he may be angry that you've left but it will get easier as you get stronger every day without him.

Thinking of you Kath and really hoping you're ok x

If hes at work tomorrow can't you just leave then? There would be no need to pass notes etc. Just leave the minute hes gone to work

Tell him you require an intimate exam from the midwife and nobody is allowed in the room except her and you. And tell her. She'll know that abuse often escalates in pregnancy.

He's at work but I don't know until when. I'm at the midwives and she's on the phone to social services. I'm terrified now as it's all becoming so real x x

You're so brave! Well done, the professionals will now step in and help you all you need x

Well done - I've been thinking about you all morning! I'm so pleased you were able to find the courage to speak up. It's not an easy thing to do.

I won't lie, you've got a long road ahead, but the worst bit is done.

Really wish I could give you a big hug

You're doing the right thing for you and your baby. Well done for being so brave

Oh well done kath, very brave. I hope you're ok

Well done. Please don't go back.

Can you call your dad?

Be strong, you can do this! Are you ok? We're here for you xxx

I've welled up at your news, you're a star, a seriously brave and fabulous mother x

Right! Social services have passed info onto the police. Social worker has told me to get my dad to pick me up and not to go home until they can provide me with someone to escort me. I told her everything and she said she was extremely worried for mine and the kids safety that he sounds like he could potentially snap and hurt one of the kids. So my dad is on his way now and just waiting for a phone call back x x

Well done Kath, you're amazing

I dont know you but I feel so proud of you. I know this is one of the hardest things you will ever do.

From personal experience of going through hell with my exh, take each day at a time. Every day you will get a little bit stronger and in a years time you will realise it was the best decision you ever made!

Lots of luck and strength to you and your babies

Oh Kath, well done you. This must be incredibly hard and scary but you've taken the first step. I'll check in often and wanted to virtual hand hold as you take these first few steps on to a better life.

You're a heroine and you're going to be fine. And that bastard will get what's coming to him. Remember, he is a bully and bullies are always cowards.

Well done you!!!! Wow, one brave woman.

Hugs x

Oh well done, you're so brave

Oh wow, well done you, that's took a great deal of courage....you are stronger than you realise!