Is he being distant or am I just overthinking?

[shenry25]

I met a guy at the start of December and we were talking every night on the phone and we then met up for a date the next weekend. He ended up staying at mine for a few days and even met my mum and brother in that time. He then came down the day before Christmas eve to visit. After this his mum invited me for Boxing Day dinner with the family which was lovely and we all got on great. From Boxing Day until Monday past, we were with each other everyday and things were great. We are officially in a relationship (on Facebook too), have said I love you (he said it first), met each other's families, have them on Facebook and I'm so happy and he said he is too. He started acting distant on Monday before I left. He was meant to be coming down to mine for a few days but then he said he had work so he couldn't. He's also had an extremely sore back and ear for the last week too so I can understand his mood not being great. He text me on Tuesday afternoon to say he has been drifting in and out of sleep because of the painkillers and he hopes I'm well and he loves me. That's the last I've heard from him. He hasn't been as active on Facebook as much either. I've sent two whatsapp messages and a snapchat and neither have even been read. I had to change my number and the two whatsapp messages were just to tell him and then I text him to ask how he was. I also tried to ring him last night because he was using my Netflix and I couldn't watch anything while he was. I don't know why he's being like this and I know I'm probably overthinking but I just wanted someone else's opinion.

I have no issue changing my password as I also figured myself that it would be a good way of regaining some control.

Lol! Soup 😂😂

OP, I read your other threads about your ex.

You know, where he wouldn't reply to you and you gave him the benefit of the doubt? And you hounded him to try to get him to commit to you even after he'd dumped you? Because he'd only blocked you on Facebook and not on other apps?

Do you see any similarities between that relationship and this one?

Yeah, soup is great :)

Or maybe the guy is just ill!

help.netflix.com/en/node/18

How to change a Netflix password.

HTH.

Changing your password is not 'going nuts' at him.

OP the honeymoon period should last longer than what 6 weeks?

Fair play you've come back and responded to what we've all been saying, but you have an answer for everything negative being said.
If you've already messaged his more before over things then I'm actually a little surprised you havnt.

Give him the benefit of the doubt if that's what you really want to do, but don't be surprised if this happens often.

I'd be fucking miffed if my boyfriend who I didn't know that we'll wasn't responding to my messages but taking advantage of my Netflix account.

If he spends so much money buying and treating you to things he can bloody pay £5.99 a month for his own Netflix

You cannot be sure that this isn't something he tends to do.

I've had this happen to me but it wasn't a relationship although we were very close, he'd come back months and months later, I got fed up of one minute us spending every hour of the day in contact and then the next he'd " have a sore throat" and do the exact same your boyfriend is doing to you...
I had enough of it in the end, wished him the best and ditched him. And that was someone who in a sense I did love.

If someone cares that much about you you don't ignore for 2 days etc, and he's obviously not thought of it in that way otherwise he'd have replied apologising for not being in contact

Who knows? We could ALL be wrong and you be right, but I can only see this going one way ...

• message his mum, not more

My ex was a complete arse and only wanted me for sex. We didn't go anywhere and it was almost like he was embarrassed to be seen with me. This guy is completely different. He is usually so punctual with texting so I'm guessing he maybe is just ill as he told me. We have went out on dates and had a real good time! I'll just wait it out and see when he responds to me. I've only messaged his mum to thanks for having me to stay and things like that. I've never asked her about him or anything.

No wonder he has been generous with his money and treated you over xmas. He lives with his mum. Isn't he 29? He sounds very immature......

I really hope it turns out well for you shenry, genuinely.

My initial feeling on this is that he love bombed you for Christmas. A strategy to have a lot of fun for a short time frame. In short, he used you for a happy holiday. Sorry .
So he wouldn't be alone over the holidays.
Or, perhaps he was tired of every holiday being a broken record of everyone asking him about getting a girlfriend and settling down.
Or he may have done this to make his mum happy for the holidays.

Yes, he paid for everything. That would lessen his guilt for dumping you considerably. But the sincerity factor- talk is cheap (especially: I love you). If it seems too good to be true, then it probably isn't true. He may be just a good actor. 4 weeks, 6 weeks in is way way way too early to tell.

Have you said "no" to anything since you met him?

I agree to changing Netflix password. If he profusely apologizes for preventing you from using it, then there may be a glimmer of hope. But if he guilt trips you with a pity party about his issues...not a good sign. He will be presuming way too much perhaps you are presuming quite a bit yourself .

I don't think this early on you can judge someones character. It's only been a month!

Play it cool you have done your bit contacting him, don't chase someone who isn't interested. You are better than that.

I hope it works out for you too. I'm skeptical, but i wish you well

Now, have you started on my soup?

If I'm really really ill the phone wouldn't even be on at all.

Tbh op you sound like you're making lots of excuses for him. You talk like you know him, you don't, you have spent a month with him, this isn't a relationship, a relationship is a commitment not a month of sex.
I wouldn't message his mum, that is just strange, if he wanted you to know what he was doing he would tell you. I would go mad if someone contacted my family after such a short time. He hasn't slept constantly since Tuesday has he? But even if you're on painkillers you can find 30 seconds to send a text.
Like I said I really do think he's simply changed his mind, realised he's been a bit silly or just enjoys the thrill of the first few weeks.
He clearly isn't showing you any respect so you need to do that for him, accept this for what it is and move on. You have known him a month it won't take you much longer to get over him once you see this for what it is. It all sounds a little strange if im honest, you're talking like you've been together years, I understand it hurts but it really isn't the end of the world, enjoy the new year with friends and family not wasting time on someone who has only been in your life for a matter of five minutes you say he's been great except for the last week but the last week forms a big chunk of your 'relationship' so for a lot of the time you've known him he has ignored you surely you can see what is happening, if he wanted to be with you he would move heaven and earth to do so, bad back or not, have you watched ' he's just not that into you' .You deserve better.

He should have atleast text you to ask if he could use your Netflix account

Is 'change the password' the new 'cancel the cheque'?

Fgs, change the frigging password, OP! Then come back and tell us you've done it. And listen to what everyone is telling you on here, they're speaking sense

I'm just not prepared to write him off after one incident. If he makes a habit of it then that's a different story altogether really. I'm not claiming I know him that well because I don't. He still lives with his mum because he lived in Liverpool for 7 years and has only just moved back home.

I genuinely don't think it was just for the holidays. Like a poster said, when they aren't well, their phone isn't even on. I put mine on flight mode. Realistically it has been two days not two weeks.

I already signed into the Netflix when I was on the computer and it just stayed signed in. He hasn't been on it today at all. I will change the password when I get to a computer.

How long will you give him?

WOW!
That is all...

I think you and only one poster said they don't look at their phone

For your sake, I hope it works out and we're all wrong, but 5 pages of the majority of posters are all saying the same thing, that surely must say something?

You're going to excuse everything so, just change your password and patiently ( ) wait for him to contact you

It's coming across to me that you're desperate for this to work, sounds to me it's fizzing out before its even had chance to begin. It's always fun at first, 6 weeks in and being ignore, Ill or not shouldn't be the case right now. You've even admitted takes 30 seconds to send a text just to say he's ok, or he'll be in contact soon etc.

Put it this way, it would take longer for him to input your password into Netflix and pick something to watch than it would be for a quick message to let you know how he is.

Your choice OP! Wish you well

why is your 29 yo bf in so much pain? wouldn't that in itself be a concern? i can't remember a single time in my near 40 years (fortunately) that i've been in too much pain to send the odd text, including childbirth except for the critical moment.