Is he being distant or am I just overthinking?

[shenry25]

I met a guy at the start of December and we were talking every night on the phone and we then met up for a date the next weekend. He ended up staying at mine for a few days and even met my mum and brother in that time. He then came down the day before Christmas eve to visit. After this his mum invited me for Boxing Day dinner with the family which was lovely and we all got on great. From Boxing Day until Monday past, we were with each other everyday and things were great. We are officially in a relationship (on Facebook too), have said I love you (he said it first), met each other's families, have them on Facebook and I'm so happy and he said he is too. He started acting distant on Monday before I left. He was meant to be coming down to mine for a few days but then he said he had work so he couldn't. He's also had an extremely sore back and ear for the last week too so I can understand his mood not being great. He text me on Tuesday afternoon to say he has been drifting in and out of sleep because of the painkillers and he hopes I'm well and he loves me. That's the last I've heard from him. He hasn't been as active on Facebook as much either. I've sent two whatsapp messages and a snapchat and neither have even been read. I had to change my number and the two whatsapp messages were just to tell him and then I text him to ask how he was. I also tried to ring him last night because he was using my Netflix and I couldn't watch anything while he was. I don't know why he's being like this and I know I'm probably overthinking but I just wanted someone else's opinion.

[MsStricty]

Alarms going off everywhere, OP. Too much, too fast - and you don't know him, as much as it might pain you to read that. You do not. Hell, I don't know all of myself and I've been on this planet for nearly 46 years!

A person who bonds this quickly has intimacy and bonding issues, paradoxically. I'm sorry.

[TheUnforgiven]

OP does he have an iPhone? If you read a whatsapp message on your home screen and then dismiss it, it will still display to the sender as unread.

[shenry25]

No I haven't lent him any money, he's actually been treating me constantly! Well he hasn't dumped me and I'm hoping he doesn't either cos we get on so well. The love you thing isn't a red flag, you can't help how you feel really. I'm just so used to chatting to him a lot and now nothing. He was in an awful lot of pain and the painkillers are pretty heavy duty.

[shenry25]

Yeah, he does have an iPhone. Mines is the same, I can just swipe it off the screen without it showing as read. He hasn't been on Facebook much either which is also strange cos he usually always has been active but now it's like last active 22hours ago. Maybe he really isn't well.

[shenry25]

I know I don't know him that well, and he doesn't know me that well either but we were both looking forward to getting to know each other better.

[Bluntness100]

If Facebook was last active 22 hours ago and he's not contacted uou for two days looks like he is ghosting, for reasons only he knows. He may think better of it, but who knows. I'd change my Netflix password too.

[shenry25]

Well our relationship status is still up which I took as a good sign. He's only been on Facebook twice in the last three or four days which isn't like him. He's constantly on it lol

[LesisMiserable]

Deary me.

[SparklyMagpie]

Oh dear,ok
You're reacting how I thought you would

Wish you both the best of luck OP

[Skang]

Just change the password. That's not committing to dumping him or blocking him on Facebook. You pay for it! He's taking the piss with it.

[shenry25]

Oh I intend to change the password lol! Least that way I'll be able to watch what I want 😊

[SparklyMagpie]

Also just wanted to say, you really need to stop checking when he's been online on everything! That's not healthy

Change your Netflix password, I bet he'll soon be Intouch if you did that

And just leave him alone, he'll message you when he wants to, no point checking times he's been online etc

[Kidnapped]

OP, why don't you get in your car and go and see him at his house? You said you'd thought about it.

Poor sick lamb laid up in bed needs 'the best thing that's ever happened to him' surely?

All will be revealed there, I suspect.

[TheGiantSausage]

This is an awful lot of effort/stress so early on.
I think I'd be taking a step back whether he gets in touch or not.

[TrippyMcTrapFace]

'intend to change the password'

Do it right now.

As for the rest, anecdotal but from what I've observed there are 3 methods used to cowardly dump. It's often one (or more) of these :

. 1)complete disappearance/NC
2)'very busy at work but will be in touch soon'
3) some sort of illness that comes on very unexpectedly and coincides with distance/pulling away/reduced contact.

[TrippyMcTrapFace]

Kidnapped

[Skang]

Yes, just do it now.

[LesisMiserable]

[shenry25]

I'm not actively checking, it just shows on my chat bar on the laptop everyone and when they were last on. I will be changing my password. He lives an hour away so driving to see him just because he hasn't text back is a bit much.

[SparklyMagpie]

kidnapped I like that idea !

[LesisMiserable]

I think he's done one OP.

[SparklyMagpie]

Well you'll just have to find something else to do to take your mind off things then

No point moping around waiting for him to message, don't you think it might be abit interesting if you didn't contact and see how long it actually takes for him to message you

I'll be honest, he may very well be Ill but I don't think it's looking good.

[shenry25]

I don't think so LesisMiserable!

[shenry25]

Well when I was staying with him for that week, his was in complete agony and spent most of it sleeping off painkillers

[SparklyMagpie]

I also think he's ghosted you

But you know him best don't you after this short time so what do we know