Is he being distant or am I just overthinking?

[shenry25]

I met a guy at the start of December and we were talking every night on the phone and we then met up for a date the next weekend. He ended up staying at mine for a few days and even met my mum and brother in that time. He then came down the day before Christmas eve to visit. After this his mum invited me for Boxing Day dinner with the family which was lovely and we all got on great. From Boxing Day until Monday past, we were with each other everyday and things were great. We are officially in a relationship (on Facebook too), have said I love you (he said it first), met each other's families, have them on Facebook and I'm so happy and he said he is too. He started acting distant on Monday before I left. He was meant to be coming down to mine for a few days but then he said he had work so he couldn't. He's also had an extremely sore back and ear for the last week too so I can understand his mood not being great. He text me on Tuesday afternoon to say he has been drifting in and out of sleep because of the painkillers and he hopes I'm well and he loves me. That's the last I've heard from him. He hasn't been as active on Facebook as much either. I've sent two whatsapp messages and a snapchat and neither have even been read. I had to change my number and the two whatsapp messages were just to tell him and then I text him to ask how he was. I also tried to ring him last night because he was using my Netflix and I couldn't watch anything while he was. I don't know why he's being like this and I know I'm probably overthinking but I just wanted someone else's opinion.

[shenry25]

I know you're right SparklyMagpie! I just don't want the same thing happening with him as it did with my ex so I'm constantly wondering. I'm hoping I'll get a simple explanation but only time will tell

[shenry25]

I am concerned about him and just want to know if he's ok to be honest.

[shenry25]

I'd be more likely to think it was fizzling out if he done this regularly but I'm hoping his is only a one off

[CakesRUs]

It doesn't take a lot to drop you a text. If I were you I'd not contact him again, change the password. If he's in to you, he'll be in touch. Please don't chase this guy.

[PenguinsandPebbles]

I'd be more likely to think it was fizzling out if he done this regularly but I'm hoping his is only a one off

It's only been four weeks, This may well be what he is like regularly you haven't been with him long enough to get a sense if this is the norm at all.

This all sound way too quick, lot of posters who have experienced this first hand are telling you to brace yourself for being dumped but your not listening, they are telling you this so that you don't come down with a major crash not to be mean.

Change your password, distract yourself and forget about him for now. If this isn't the norm for him and he has a genuine excuse don't allow him to treat like you this in the future, even if he was close to death he would have been able to send you something via text it takes two seconds.

He is checking out IMO, nobody cares about relationship status on facebook it's irrelevant.

[shenry25]

I genuinely genuinely do believe he is ill! I will change my password and distract myself until I hear from him. I was getting texts and calls every single day until Tuesday when he started the tablets. He did apologise for taking long to reply because he was drifting in and out. The relationship status does matter to him because he was very keen to make sure we put it up.

[Underthemoonlight]

Honesty op you come across as over keen in your post your sister saying you'll be married before the years out it's only new year and you been together a month I sense he's backing off

[shenry25]

I have no intention of getting married just yet!! Time will tell what he's doing and I will update

[shenry25]

Like I said, he hasn't been on Netflix today or any social media at all so my guess is he is sleeping. I know you's all don't get my optimism which is fair enough but I'm not just going to write him off on this one occasion. If he does it again, then fair enough

[TrippyMcTrapFace]

" I was getting texts and calls every single day until Tuesday when he started the tablets."

But the 'distant' behaviour had started on Monday, you said. And then he cancelled plans to come to visit you. So it follows that the calls/texts pattern would change after that. Because he was pulling away. Tablets or no tablets.

How far apart do you two live? It's not clear from your posts but it does sound as if you're not local to one another.

[shenry25]

Well he was in pain on Monday so I understood why he was quiet. He was that distant that we slept together that morning though 🙈 He had work so couldn't come down. We live an hour apart.

[shenry25]

I meant he wasn't that distant that we slept together as normal lol

[SparklyMagpie]

I'll tell you now, Facebook relationships mean fuck all.

He's been in so much pain that he still slept with you Monday?

I suffer from chronic pain, since having my son 17 months ago, I used to be on tramadol, morphine tablets, liquid morphine, you name it! To manage my pain, may have knocked me out after the pain relief wore off but it NEVER stopped me from making a phone call or text, jesus I used to go to work and be able to manage on it. It's a shitty excuse not to send a couple of words.

I'm not denying he's not ill, I do know it's exhausting but to not contact the person he loves oh so very much, no that's not right

Make sure you wear a helmet before you come crashing down

[Twiterati]

I agree with the PP who said he just wanted to love bomb over Xmas so he wouldn't feel left out. In reality I suspect he quite likes having mummy to look after him. So he hasn't been on Netflix today. Maybe he's at work?? Does he have a job? As for being out of it on painkillers well I have suffered with excruciating backache but still managed to communicate when I was off my head on morphine. Do yourself a favour love and wise up. This man has ghosted you.

[madgingermunchkin]

This has happened to me a few times. They're all "really keen", one even wanted to take me for a birthday meal with his family and add me as his girlfriend on Facebook after one date.

If he was well enough to get his laptop out and watch netflix, he's well enough to text you "I'm sorry I'm being rubbish, just really out of it, bare with me for the next few days." I think he's been a dick, and I'm one of those people who just want to be left alone when not well.

I also remember your other threads, and you really do need to learn to be alone. You're bouncing from one using tosser to the next because you're so obviously desperate to be in love and not alone.

[PenguinsandPebbles]

Nothing anyone says is going to make you chabge your mind

I fear you are about to be quite heartbroken as this person is ghosting you, I wish a part of you would at least accept this as a possibility as your going to make a bad experience even worse.

[Shayelle]

Oh dear

[CakesRUs]

If you were with him on pain meds that knocked him out, but he was still able to have sex on said pain meds and with a bad back, he'd be able to drop you a text.

When I say don't contact him, I mean, don't chase him, if he's interested, he'll be in touch and you can take it from there.

[Ellisandra]

That's really hurtful for him to ignore you for 2 days after the full on whirlwind before.
So I don't want to be mean... but... talking about fb relationship statuses? Makes you sound 13.
Means nothing.
If he's an arsehole, he won't care whether fb means anything to you or not.

If he loves you that much, and he's not in a coma, he'd have at least rung you or texted you to tell you in was too ill to chat much.

[shenry25]

I know what you're saying and I don't want to just assume he's going to dump me that's all!

[shenry25]

All I'm saying is he was really keen to mod things forward and I was dubious.

[Ellisandra]

He was keen that you updated your Facebook statuses?
Good lord, he sounds 13 too.

Shit on fb is not love.
Caring enough about your girlfriend to send her ONE SINGLE TEXT IN TWO DAYS is. (well actually that's not love either, just manners)

[Ellisandra]

So, if you were dubious, why are you the one fretting about what's going on?

Why did you let him set the pace?

[shenry25]

Also, if he was avoiding me and ghosting me - he wouldn't stay off all social media as well. He does talk to other people

[shenry25]

The status is nice to have cos every other guy I dated never wanted to even tell people.