Brave Babes - Barging through 2017 in style

[SweetLathyrus]

Hello, I'm SweetLathyrus (Sweet for short), and I've been hopping on and off Gerald the Brave Babes Battle Bus for three years now because, like some many of us, I struggle with alcohol.

The Bus is a supportive community at all stages in their relationship with alcohol and with lots of different goals - for some, it's abstinence, for others it's moderation, for others, it's just about getting a bit of control and perspective.

So, if you think you'd like to join us, don't be shy, flag us down and jump on board and share as much or as little as you feel comfortable with; sometimes there will be silliness, but there will always be help and support.

If you would like to know how the Bus first rattled into action, here is the first ever thread

And if you would like to know where we have been more recently, here is the most recent thread

dubh you've a lovely way with words, thanks for that.
I know scunnered but girny I've looked up

AF last night, have a cold so it was a bit easier actually.
posh lunch today and I have planned to drink, but NOT BLOODY WINE.

happy saturday babes

I am posting this bit again from dubh cos I am crying with laughter - thank you

She's probably an ex Olympian from nineteen oatcake. You swam. You were oot o puff. You were burning the calories. You took your time and admired the passing verrucas. This is what real life is. She wis probably a selkie onywey.

42 it really made me laugh too!

Good morning everyone, what a lovely bright day it is here.

Feeling pretty good today as it's 3 weeks, I can barely believe it, I am so glad I joined the thread and so grateful for the support and chat, it's been an incredible help.

I love language and am mad about regional dialect and colloquialisms so I love to read the expressions you use, fabulous.

Hope everyone's ok today and slept well, my skin is turning a normal colour, less like I work outside for a living. Didn't do the facepack last night so will do it tonight instead.

10 more days of January left and a lot of thinking to be done.

Have a good day babes.

Flying visit wishing all a very happy Saturday. I've been up since 7 am watching live webinars. I felt a bit less bloated this morning so stuck to my oats and didn't do my beloved and sorely missed toast and coffee.

LW I had to get my photo taken for work yesterday, I am crediting you with the fact I actually didn't mind. My skin had a glow. I felt bonny. Well, as bonny as. That hasn't happened in a long, long, time. This LuxuryWoman™ lark is fabulous I tell you.

Normally my face would be like a skelpit erse at the mere thought of a photie being taken. It only took 3 shots to get the two photos. And I was smiling. Bless your heart quine, you made that ordeal a shiteload easier for me.

I love regional accents too. It breaks me a little to walk past the academy when the kids are oot. They are all pan loaf. Oor lovely Doric might die oot in a couple o decades.

Best head back to the grind, will catch up with everyone in a while, x

Morning all,

I loved the selkie description too, I don't know many of the beautiful words dubh uses but I love reading them. ( I know about selkies)
ma I'm going to look up that book.

Yay! 3 weeks in. I treated myself to some new stationary (please,please let that be the correct spelling for gorgeous books & pens & shit, I did not buy a train)

This week has been tough life wise rather than drink wise but today is nice. Ds is behaving beautifully and there is every chance that he has turned a corner with some of his problems. The baby can dance 😎 '''Tis mad dancing but makes me smile. I'm feeling better and the antibiotics are starting to work.

Oh and I bought a big bunch of tulips as a treat. They were eight quid and I caught myself thinking' eight fecking quid,I'm not spending all that etc etc' wouldn't have thought twice about buying booze at that price!

guggs the way to remember is that paper, pens, envelopes and shit it "stationery". The e near the end is e for envelopes.
I'm not feeling luxury woman or anything positive. I'm feeling fat and bloated and pissed off with myself.
What's the point of giving up all the things I like if there is no improvement?

There will be an improvement ma I think you're trying to do too much at once and being too hard on yourself, you have major worries on your shoulders, please try and be kind to yourself

Ah Guggs new stationery, what a pleasure. I think it stems from the new exercise books given out every September at school, remember 'I will write neatly and keep this book nice'?
You are right about the flowers/wine thing - I have daffs everywhere, very cheery.

Dubh happy to hear you didn't mind your photo being taken and you've got that J-Lo glow. Lets keep at this self care malarkey?

Pan loaf? I can't work that out, clue if you please!

I think dubh might mean they're all the same...

I just looked it up 42 it's fab, it means people who speak in an affected way to make themselves look more refined, a pan loaf itself is more expensive bread.
Pan loaf - social climber open to ridicule by their speech. Hyacinth Bouquet would be pan loaf I guess.

When I first came to Scotland I was baffled that you could buy a pan loaf or a plain loaf...And both were referred to as a "half loaf"! I would ask for a loaf, in the days when you asked shopkeepers for things, and they would say "D'ye mean a half loaf?" and I would say "no, I want a whole one!".
Anyway, I've just had a massive argument by email with someone who I care about very much, all over stupid comments about lack of weight loss and motivation. Told him to fuck off then.. I'm really on a self destruct path today....Have had a bath and stuff but not feeling the boing. If the truth be told, I don't want to go and see Richard tomorrow...

ma not midget Obama?? I hope not

Oh joeytrust you to bust me!!!!
I've apologised....Hopefully he will get back in touch.
Now we will have all the newbies asking g who midget Obama is and where he got his name, and I have no answer at all to the last question!
More positively have had a message from Richard about going to see him tomorrow. He said " Don't worry, you are not going to find Ben Gunn this time. I'm showered,shaved, been to the doctors and had a haircut. I am kicking this shit out of my body. I can do this."

Well done all you fabulous non-drunkers! I have fallen off the wagon with a heavy crash. I really don't know what to think. I was away, and I have no excuses apart from enjoying drinking wine too much. I have felt soooo much better, really as though a cloud has been lifted and now I just feel the same as I did before. Just faintly shit really. The future has gone. I was staying with relations and there is a lot of alcohol sloshing around. I know I have a problem and context seems very much a part of it. Now at home, it is beginning to feel a bit more normal not having wine all the time. But going away... What a twat I am.

Hi my babe gals,

After a long time away I'm delighted to report you are all as beautifully bonkers as ever and some delightfully bonkers newbies in the bus too!.

I felt akin to having been away at war for a long and feeling anxious about returning home to my familiar and beloved home and wondering if everything would be different and I'd be different too but I'm hugely relieved that being back here, on this bus with you amazing people feels lovely, like a warm hug,

ma I have thought about Richard a lot these last few days, with real compassion and empathathy, did something happen to make him drink again? Has he still got his home??? Have the Salvation Army team who know him so well been supportive? He is my kindred spirit and I wish him better, really and truly.

I'll be back soon, need charged up xxxx

ma Midget Obama is so-called because he was very small, but it turned out that was due to him being far away, not to actually being a midget. I can't remember why Obama.

I know that he is also a sailor, which confirms that he is of normal height as they don't allow midgets in the Navy.

baby your comments about Richard mean so much to me,truly they do. He has a council flat now and had a job offer in China. It was too big a decision for him. If he went to China he would have to give up the flat and if it went wrong he would have nothing and be homeless. But he lives very very rurally and is bored and lonely and had too much time on his hands to worry about things. And so, like all of us, like me,his default kicked in. Even after 3 and a half years. I wish I could show him allyoir messages of goodwill and support. It means so much to me.

Arse! I KNEW I spelled it wrong. The a in stationary is like the a in car 🚗, which is a moving vehicle, like them big trainy things. I used to know stuff. Lots of stuff and be dead clever. Will blame baby for inability to speel goode. : )

baby Massive hugs. Are you ok lovely? Tell us more about what's been going on.

ma I so hope he can do it. Did you say he had 3+ years of sobriety behind him? I think he can pull it together.

Love the pan loaf

tiger it happens so don't dwell on it. It's very hard to say no to a glass of wine when you're with people you normally drink with. Just make today a new day one and treat yourself to something (incorrectly spelt stationery, for instance). Try not to feel bad or guilty because it starts up a cycle of drink- guilt-drink to stop feeling guilty-guilt. Just start over tomorrow.

I have a book recommendation too- Thinking in pictures by temple grandin. It's an extraordinary book, if you like non fiction. It's all about how people and animals think, focusing on how visual thinkers especially autistic ones put the world together. Her voice is so clear and judgement free, she can explain very complex ideas very simply.i watched a TED talk with Temple talking about this book in detail. It's fab.

I'm off to play with me new stationery, possibly to practise my spelling. 😁

Hello,
Lurking type de-lurking. Found a previous thread about six months ago and wasn't ready, think I am now though.
I'm late 30's, no children, married, fairly responsible job and I binge. Can be dry five nights a week fine, but equate lots and lots of wine with fun at the weekend and it's making me feel worse the day after than it makes me feel good the night before.
DH and I have decided to go AF until 14 Feb and managed a fancy lunch yesterday with just a small glass.
I have a history of depression and tetchy relationship with parents and am feeling less well able to cope with them of late which is a sign. Not been as good as I could be at work, and unable to really manage weight, and I'm not a delicate thing as it is.
Will be weekends and socialising which will be pinch points but positive at the moment, and ready to not always be the drunk one.
So hello, and thanks for all the insight already.

Morning Fred welcome. You will find endless support here as well as a good few laughs.

Hope everyone had a good sleep? Can I tell you I moisturised my elbows last night, how's that for self care?
Mr Lux had a good few drinks last night, I held strong though.

Tiger, please don't beat yourself up, it happens to all of us. As Guggs says, dust yourself off, today is a new day. Forgive yourself. The future has not gone, you just hit a bump in the road, we cannot expect to turn into satisfied tee-totallers overnight. Hugs to you.

Hi Fred, welcome. I can empathize with so much of what you say. I am also ready not to be the drunk one all the time and this bus helps you achieve that.

Ma, good luck today. It sounds like Richard is really determined and has already taken some positive steps to get back on the wagon. I know it will be a tough day for you but I'm sure your visit will help him so much. If being alone is partly to blame for his relapse then having people around him who love him can only be a good thing.

I am away for the weekend with 5 other families. Have managed to avoid the booze but I can't really say that I've had a good time. It's one of those occasions when I know I'm the foreigner, I stand out like a sore thumb and it makes me feel really insecure. To start with, three of the other mothers are tiny, size 6 at a push, which makes me feel like a heffalump when I'm in their presence. Secondly they just do things differently - I want to send my kids to bed early but they all send their kids to bed past 11pm and all the kids are sleeping in the same room so mine are exhausted and grumpy. I don't know - not explaining it very well - I have just found myself hiding away a bit as I feel like a freak. And I have taken it out on DH poor love - not his fault.

I think I also realize that I have always equated drinking with having a better time - if I drink the night will be better/more fun/I'll be more entertaining but now I realize that that is totally untrue. If I had drunk this weekend my level of regret/paranoia/insecurity would be through the roof.

Margie that message is everywhere, drink = good times. From pop videos to soap opera's, Facebook memes, adverts, books and we absorb it absolutely.

Morning (just) All.

So busy, so tired. I fell off the bus on Friday, had a bottle of wine, I just wasn't thinking. I didn't even enjoy it. So lesson learnt (again), and than makes January 21/22 for me.

Baby so good to see you back - and so happy

Elba, unfortunately, the surgery won't make any difference to my vision, I don't think. It's for glaucoma, so, it's just to relieve pressure.

Fingers crossed for Richard, Ma, it sounds like he hasn't fallen too far. As for your old lady in the pool, there are rocks that swim faster than I do - and did you hear that David Wilkie (olympic swimming champion in '76 for younger babes) has left his fitness club because he was told off for swimming too fast last week! They didn't know who he was - so you never know who is charging past you!

Fred, welcome to the bus.

Everyone else, have a good Sunday. I have work to get on with, back later.

Sweet 21/22 is brilliant, and the fact that you have recognised you didn't enjoy it and got back on the wagon is very positive. Sorry for the assumption about the laser surgery- hope it all goes well.

Margie sounds like a stressful weekend, but I know what you mean about the increasing paranoia when drinking. Massive well done for not drinking, and for recognising it won't help!

ma hope today has gone well.

guggs the stationary made me laugh! I can't spell for shit and I have no small children as an excuse!

Got it into my head a few days ago that tonight could be a good 'drinking opportunity' and can't stop thinking about it. Not cravings as such, if anything I don't actually fancy a drink which makes it all the more stupid. But between work, running and other plans I have good incentives to not drink for the next week and feel like I ought to take advantage somehow of tonight. It's so stupid- today is day 7, I'm starting to feel like things are evening out a bit emotionally and I know drinking will just set it all back. And I know because I will feel guilty it won't be enjoyable, and that leads to big binges. But I also know which way these internal arguments tend to go There's no logic really to not wanting to drink but feeling almost obliged to! That probably doesn't make much sense.

Also feeling a bit meh as missed out on a yearly get together with old uni friends last night. We do it every January- black tie type evening, always arranged 6 months before so everyone can sort time off. I said I had to work, which wasn't untrue, but I didn't attempt to get the weekend off and probably could of. The main reason is it's always a boozy evening and I don't trust myself at the moment. I have ended up in some awful states after these nights Met some of them for brunch today- there were some sore heads, but nothing major. I just know I would be so unwell today, most likely still in bed trying unsuccessfully to piece together the evening. Don't want to miss out on things like that but it always ends so badly, so just isolating myself a bit instead but then drinking on my own anyway. A friend has just asked me to be her maid of honour and I'm already panicking about how I handle that and there's not even a date for the wedding yet! Last time I was a bridesmaid I got so hammered I remember nothing from about 9pm and woke up in bed with an usher I'm 32 for fucks sake...I should be able to control these things.

Anyway off for a run before it gets dark, and to try and decide one way or the other what to do tonight. Hope everyone's ok. Sorry for the rant

Elba you dodged a bullet on the reunion - make the most of it. Hope you enjoyed your run - it was nice to walk SweetDog in the (mostly) light this afternoon. Remember, "Nobody regrets not drinking". You might feel you have missed out on the social, but you would have done that anyway if you had been there and got trashed! This time next year, you'll be in a different place!

When Spanna started her sober life, there were friends she couldn't see, and a bride who insisted it would be disrespectful to toast in non-alcoholic fizz - I'm sure she wouldn't mind sharing the story. It might help.

Funny, today, I can't even imagine drinking - long may it last.