Brave Babes - Barging through 2017 in style

[SweetLathyrus]

Hello, I'm SweetLathyrus (Sweet for short), and I've been hopping on and off Gerald the Brave Babes Battle Bus for three years now because, like some many of us, I struggle with alcohol.

The Bus is a supportive community at all stages in their relationship with alcohol and with lots of different goals - for some, it's abstinence, for others it's moderation, for others, it's just about getting a bit of control and perspective.

So, if you think you'd like to join us, don't be shy, flag us down and jump on board and share as much or as little as you feel comfortable with; sometimes there will be silliness, but there will always be help and support.

If you would like to know how the Bus first rattled into action, here is the first ever thread

And if you would like to know where we have been more recently, here is the most recent thread

Welcome back babyj

Yay baby is back and sounding fab. Bloody well done you.
Have had a bad day. Dh drove up North to find Richard( my brother) Things are not good. He is back in the grip of his addiction.all too painful to write in detail. So in my anger and hurt at him drinking what did I do???? Oh, the fucking irony! Pathetic.

Oh ma I am sorry. Did dh find him? Your reaction is not pathetic, it's what we're all here for on this thread, reaching for a drink in good and bad times is our default, we're trying to reset that.

Will you be able to sleep? Sending hugs x

Yes. He found him Spent the day sorting out his benefits and doctor and stuff.I spent the evening drinking. Tells its own story really!! ( Well I had one big glass of wine,so not smashed it it was my default reaction)
Am I so angry because in Richard I see myself????

I don't know, I guess it's anger at him because you've said he is educated and accomplished so there's that waste, fear because you love him, all mixed up with frustation. Lots of mixed emotions. You had one large wine, if you can leave it at that then that's great. We all know it solves nothing but understand it can take the edge of situations. Such a fucked up thing to learn to understand.
I'm rambling a bit and don't think I'm being very articulate. I'm in bed with eyes trying to close.
I do hope you get some sleep.

Babyj so good to hear from you. Your voice is very sober, iykwim. I'd love to hear more from you x

ma I agree with lux , you were feeling hurt and angry, understandably. I'm so sorry, it must be really painful to watch. I still hope that he can give sobriety another go.

I had a really good day yesterday, just so that I'm not always whining about how horrible my children are 😎 And I spoke to the dr and have anti biotics for a uti. Ironically, I can't drink now even if I wanted to and if anyone asks I really will be on antibiotics , not just saying that to avoid drinking.

Morning all - Lux and elba and joey margie i 42 mint elf
Right I'm not going to NC anymore because my sodding screen keeps freezing while I do it. Love to all.

Today I will not be drinking.

Morning all.
Love to ma sorry you're going through this.
I've done 4 AF this week, had wine last night which just put me to sleep.
What's the point ??
For today, I wont drink.
Have a good day

Happy Friday ladies (and any gents that may be lurking).

Another Friday, another weekend challenge. Off to visit one of my oldest friends tomorrow for the weekend, and usually there would be much drinking and merriment. I have forewarned her that OH and I are Dry Januarying, but I know that she and the other friends that will be joining us will be drinking so it will be tough as I always relate a good social time with booze.

On the plus side it will definitely be nice to wake up on Sunday without a banging hangover and the kids up and ready to rock.

Only one more weekend after this to go for Jan. Then it'll be how I manage my alcohol intake going forward from there.

Lovely to see you baby and good to hear that you are staying on track. What great determination.

Sorry to hear about Richard, I really hope that he can get back to the good place he was in for so long.

Baby so lovely to see you back xxx

Ma I think the wine would be a natural reaction for most of us. Sorry for what you are all going through.

Had a bit of a wobble last night but took had a sleeping tablet instead and passed out at 8.30 and that was it for nearly 12 hours! Not working until tonight so have the morning to myself. Starting to feel a bit less emotionally up and down but also trying to work out what happens after January. Day 5 for me, but only 4 drinking days this year...some of you must be heading for three weeks!

Morning babes,
luxury and 42, thank you so much for your lovely comments, I guess stained is too strong a word, maybe scarred might be better. I'm trying to say that we look like the perfect family and now, Thank God we mostly are but for some reason I still cannot fathom why I'm not like other people, one glass of wine was always a total waste of time, and when I did start I just couldn't stop. It's not like the wine made me sing and dance, it was to numb me, latterly to render me unconscious, I guess it was to leave this life for a while without actually "leaving" IYSWIM.

ma I am devastated to hear about Richard, I actually shed some tears for him. My drinking and my soul and my personality wete so far gone, I was terrified that I'd never find my way back and Richard became my beacon of hope, his brave and miraculous recovery helped me with mine. I'm so so sorry, was there a trigger? When did this happen? Alcohol is a cruel mistress pouring ecstasy and misery into our veins, the killer drug we can buy from the local store!!!. I'm so sorry ma, this has really touched me xxx

My battery is about to conk so a big shout out to joey, sweet, Margie, guggs and the dozens of our babes I've missed these past months, you know who you are xxx

Moring all,

Like a lot of you have said I am also trying to work out what happens after January.

Although I only post about alcohol on this thread, I do follow the other dry threads and relate to so many posters. I thought for a long time it was only me that guzzled far too much, far too often. Problem is, I think it makes it so normal
If I met a friend for lunch and it ended up being a 3 bottle job, when I told my other friends their reactions would likely be 'sounds a great afternoon' and 'easily done' and 'wish I had been there'

Nobody, but nobody I know would have raised an eyebrow. Not at well dressed middle aged women out for lunch generally behaving well.

I'm enjoying TV, books, films right now, not falling asleep in front of them, I don't want to go back to the trashed evenings and groggy mornings and yet...

There's something about wine I don't experience with other alcohol. I truly can have 2 beers or 3 (large) gins. I think I have to accept that me and wine can no longer be friends or frenemies.

Have a good day all, day 20 for me, nearly 3 weeks. I could NOT have done it without you guys, no way.

baby thank you, I was touched to read your post.
I am going to see him on Sunday and see where he is at. He says he wants to beat it and is fighting it again so there is hope he can back to where he was. Your own battle always inspired me and to hear you so strong now is wonderful. he did go to the doctors last night which was good, and he is openly acknowledging where he is at and admitting it, so I think that's positive too. We shall see.

baby just to say about you not being able to fathom why you're not like other people - you ARE like other people. There are so many people the same as you.
Loads on here.
There's no 'normal'.
Some people who don't drink like us are probably fighting some other battle inside.
You're not 'other' or 'worse' or wrong or rubbish.
I agree with "scarred" though, as so many battles.
What you have said about wine enabling you to leave for a while resonates
Going to have a think about that.

Has anyone read "The Naked Mind" by Annie Grace?

42 No I've not but I have just downloaded the 1st few pages to see if I think it is for me, thanks for the recommend.

Ma it does indeed sounds very encouraging that Richard acknowledges he needs help - I hope this has been a blip, a major one no doubt. You will have a better idea once you've seen him.

Well, here we are, Friday. I think I will be ok tonight, who knows if the twitch will appear?

I do have my facepack ready for later - must keep channelling 'LuxuryWoman' she doesn't want wine, she prefers to take care of her skin and paint her nails and wake up feeling good.

Have a good evening all x

Bum. Facepack Friday and I haven't got a facepack. I went for a swim for the first time in ages and was outswum by a little old lady of about 105 who was thrashing out lengths when I got in and still going when I got out, exhausted!

Ma, swimming is good for the soul, doesn't matter how fast you go. So sorry about Richard but if he wants to fight it then that's a very good start.

I'm going away for the weekend with 5 other families so a bit like you Dave, it's going to be a challenging one. There have already been many messages about who's bringing the gin and how much wine we'll need, but I plan on staying strong and running off to chat to you lot if I can feel my resolve weakening.

Happy weekend babes.

baby oh bloody hell quine, it;s lovely to see you.

Missed you on here quine, really and truly. V proud that you will look like a gorgeous shiny thing in your jodhs now, you are amazing my darling. Look how far you've come! I know you still have doubts and anxieties, but one morning soon you will wake up and believe in you, the wondrous, special human being we all know you are.

I haven't been on a horse in an age, but it's how I picture you. Riding through the woods, cheeks aglow with vitality and joy, laughing out loud at how lovely life is. I am bloody delighted to see you! ((((((((((((don'tyoudare disappearagainbosie))))))))))))) xxx

AF tonight.Bored but sober. 17 days this month.
Have gone to bed with the General!

ma I think you just felt so much pain, frustration and fear that you just had to cope. Yup, the irony of it was not lost on you but listen you here to me. You went up there and you were there for him. You did what you could to help and support. We've all got your back, look at how bloody well you've done this month already, and so what if you got thrashed at swimming yer lengths?

She's probably an ex Olympian from nineteen oatcake. You swam. You were oot o puff. You were burning the calories. You took your time and admired the passing verrucas. This is what real life is. She wis probably a selkie onywey.

42 Ill trickit. It covers a few emotions, scunnered, bad humoured, out of sorts, bad tempered. In some areas it means mischievous. I wasn't mischievous. I was plain girny.

I managed a week of no wheat, sugar, caffeine. Did I lose any weight? No. Did I lose my bloaty belly? Maybe marginally but I have been gassy. Do i feel better? No. Coffee and toast for breakfast the morn.

I have CPD this weekend. It's web based so I can be with the terrorist and be in my onesie. It is bloody chilly here the night.

Ah ma there's not everyone gets to go to bed wi a General

dubh loving that you explain 'I'll trickit' by saying ^scunnered, girny' 😀

joey I'm nae thinkin.

I have caffeine, sugar and wheat deficiency. It's fogged me.

Thanks dubh you always cheer me up. Loved the comment about the Selkie. I'm just reading The Sea House which is about Selkies and Mermaids. Love all these sea things....Maybe there's a touch of Selkie in me....Except I'm a crap swimmer so maybe not! I've got the norks to be a mermaid.
Weighed myself this morning...Have GAINED!
WTF? Seriously,what do I have to do. Is it the HRT?