Brave Babes - Barging through 2017 in style

[SweetLathyrus]

Hello, I'm SweetLathyrus (Sweet for short), and I've been hopping on and off Gerald the Brave Babes Battle Bus for three years now because, like some many of us, I struggle with alcohol.

The Bus is a supportive community at all stages in their relationship with alcohol and with lots of different goals - for some, it's abstinence, for others it's moderation, for others, it's just about getting a bit of control and perspective.

So, if you think you'd like to join us, don't be shy, flag us down and jump on board and share as much or as little as you feel comfortable with; sometimes there will be silliness, but there will always be help and support.

If you would like to know how the Bus first rattled into action, here is the first ever thread

And if you would like to know where we have been more recently, here is the most recent thread

Evening,
I've been out and I've had 2 drinks (not wine) I'm not pleased with myself but nor will I beat myself up. I have no desire for more and will have an early night.

I just fancied them, didn't crave them.
It's wine I have to give up ultimately I think.

I have to remind myself this is no reason to go back. It's a step forward, 3 weeks of zero booze and 2 drinks with a huge lunch.
Tomorrow is another day.

Evening all.

Well I managed not to tip off the wagon this weekend with my old friend, despite her and another 2 friends who were there cracking open bottle after bottle of red wine. I was SOOOOOOOO tempted, particularly as OH and I had just come back from a stressful walk with the 2 DC's. Littlest DC had kicked up a fuss most of the time we were out, and was tired and stroppy, and when my friend opened her door with a glass of wine in her hand, I could have easily fallen into a bucket of the stuff.

Managed on 3 Becks Blue and cups of tea whilst around us people got ratted, but was actually really glad I didn't cave as littlest DC again was a frigging nightmare to get to sleep and I would have been sorely paying the price this morning as I only got 4 hours sleep according to my Fitbit.

Home now and knackered this evening. Kids in bed, and curry has been ordered. Will be on the Becks Blue again and then an early night and that's day 22 taken care of.

Love to all.

Welcome Fred and bloody well done to those racking up the AF days. Drank yesterday and really regretted it so AF today makes day 17.
Saw Richard today and persuaded him to come home to mums tonight. Forgive me if I can't go into it all right now...He's ok. Well, he's not ok but he's fighting. He says it's like being in a dark place and when he tries to reach for the light to get out, it drags him back down again. And I know this and I see this and I drink. I'm struggling a bit but really really appreciate all the support you give me, and also to Richard.

Sweet yeah you are right. The cringing, memory gaps and regrets today would most likely be awful. Just want to be able to socialise, and drink, and sometimes it goes ok. But things where I know there's free flowing wine on the table, shots etc are fatal and probably best avoided.

Run was nice, back playing up a bit but generally better than it was a few weeks back. Stunning sunset at the end too.

Afraid I've caved tonight though. Also not going to beat myself up and at least try and enjoy it. One day out of seven is a million miles away from this time last year. Long runs af scare me, despite good intentions, so maybe this can be a middle ground for now.

lux being able to have 2 drinks because you fancy them, and then stop, sounds like a very positive way to approach drinking. You've been af 21/22 days this year and have clearly gained a lot of insight and self awareness about your relationship with alcohol. Hope you enjoy your early night.

dave brilliant restraint there!

Night All.

Sweet Dreams.

Night night lovely sweet, 21/22 is bloody brilliant, sweet dreams to you my dear xx

ma see, you've been amazing today, Richard is safer at your Mam's, he does sound in a more positive frame of mind, he knows what he's reaching for and he's trying.

I was watching thon Ninja challenge programme. There's something on it called a warped wall they have to run up and get over. Some manage first time, some take one or two goes and some just struggle and slide back down.

This is what I think we all do at certain points dealing with the saggy WW.

You did good today, you and he will be in a better place because you talked and listened. He got up and over the wall before, and he will again. You'll see. X

Managed to clock up 20 hours of cpd this weekend. Quietly proud. Still managing to stick to the diet, and I do feel better. I've been too busy concentrating to even think about having a drink. I have grown the biggest spot in living history (glad the photos were taken on Friday now LW ) which is sitting like a an angry baboons arse just above my top lip. So much for being healthy.

On batphone so will not attempt a big NC in case I lose this, night night all, xx

Morning All.

Dubh that's a hell of a weekend. You should sleep well if your brain isn't too stuffed with new info.

Another full week for me - I'm still catching up after being ill over Christmas. It's one of the worst aspects of my job; if you are not well (but not ill enough to be signed off indefinitely), no one covers your work, it just sits and waits until you are back.

Ma, it is a really tough and scary time, but Richard sounds aware and open to help. He will do it, and YOU will do it.

Small, whatcha bin doin'?

Everyone else, have a good week. DJ is two thirds of the way through. You're all doing great.

Hi all. Sweet thanks for checking - am ok, still AF and still here. Been massively busy at work so much less time to check in than I'd like. Will read back as soon as I can.

Ma, been thinking so much about you and Richard. Sending every possible wish for his progress - he sounds to be trying so hard. And he is so lucky to have you for his sister.

Just a quick drive-by post to say hello and I'm still around. Planning to go to AA twice this week (I have to go as part of the NHS preparing-to-stop protocol - sigh). I'm reading the "Naked Mind" book recommended on here and it is BRILLIANT. I highly recommend it. The author does acknowledge a debt of gratitude to Allen Carr - and if you've read his "Easyway" books you'll see a lot of similarities - but it's very cool. Helping to debunk the lies we tell ourselves about the so-called benefits of alchol.

Saying that, I'm still drinking, obvs. Been told not to stop til the detox. But I don't know... I'm definitely changing. My thinking is changing. I feel so ready.

Also went for a swim this morning. Love it!

Morning all,

Elf I truly believe that feeling ready is half the battle, well done on the swim, I find water very healing. I've started to read 'The naked mind' too and I relate to it.

Hello to everyone else, so many to NC but I am reading all posts.

Yesterday was but a blip, quite enjoyed my 2 drinks, but could have lived without them.

Ma hope Richard is OK, his awareness sounds very encouraging.
Hope all the busy bods have a good day at work, I am desperate to find a job (long story) but have some hopeful leads. I can think more clearly now and see a chink of light.

Apologies to miss anyone out, I am in between clearing out the understairs cupboard, stuff must breed there.

catch up later.

Elf like lux said you sound so ready for this, and so positive!

I drank a bottle and a half of wine last night. Not going to kid myself that it was moderate drinking, but equally was not a huge binge, at least by my standards. Making a huge chilli to freeze with the rest of the wine, so there will be nothing to tempt me later, so today should be 18/23 AF.

Also having a clearing out day lux - new bed arriving in a couple of weeks so have to sort the crap that lurks under the old one!

My back is playing up today- it could be the running, but also wondering if it could partly be the alcohol. I don't pay much attention to posture, sleeping position etc when drunk so possibly a correlation there. Which is another reason to try and stay af this week.

Hope everyone's having a good day, sweet and small, and everyone else, hope work is going ok.

Evening babes,

I'm still bastardiing well ill. Will have to go and get more anti biotics plus have a streaming cold. Ffs! I am very bad at being ill, it irritates the shit out of me.

No chance of drinking tonight- maybe a delicious lemsip, yum.

Waves to all and tries to keep cold germs to own bus seat. Who is driving?

Guggs Dr Lux prescribes an early night, sorry you feel so crap.
You know, I have never had a lemsip in my life. Fascinating Lux fact you'll be thrilled to hear

Hope everyone else is OK and had a good day.

Checking in. AF tonight.

You ok ma? Hope you get a good sleep.
Off to bed myself so will say goodnight to all

Evening.
Day 21 over.
I will try and find time to catch up with you! I know I keep promising. I am the world's best procrastinater!

lux what do you do when you get colds.? They are kind of useful when you need to work or sort out bastarding children, but I wouldn't recommend them. I may occasionally have drunk wine which actually tastes worse. On a bad day,obvs.

Night all x

Guggs hot milk and whiskey used to be my cold remedy 😀

Then just paracetamol really. I did once read a doctor article and he said the very moment you even suspect a cold coming you should get into a bath as hot as you can bear then bed. It seems to help,, I always know if I'm going to get a cold as I get a shivery feeling in my stomach. Which is weird but true.

Night all

2 more af days after 3 days of drinking like I did before. It's such a relief to realise how much shit alcohol makes me feel. I really didn't realise. I just drank anyway.

Morning everyone, sorry not been on in while, I been pretty down and trying to sort my stuff out, drinkings been OK i have been having dry weeks but I do get my wkd feeling, I had a couple of largers at weekend and didn't get drunk which is a result. So I'm trying to sort of moderate myself.
Got a stiff neck at the mo it's driving me insane,
Trying to do more family days with dp and Dc which has been lovely. My dc1 who I normally find the difficult one has been amazing like a different child, I'm now thinking that my moods may have been reflecting on his behaviour. So family life is good.
Hope u are all OK x

Morning all - checking in on day 23..January is nearly over, and I'm wondering where I go from here. OH is chomping to get back to having a drink, which I'm a bit meh about as I think we are both nicer, less growly people and parents when we don't drink.

We're going to a gig on the 4th, so first weekend in Feb, and OH is already planning meeting our friend in the pub for beers beforehand. I'm seriously thinking of keeping on with the AF thing, whether I can do that when in a pub setting, with drinkers and it not being January anymore will have to be seen.

Woke up with a skull crushing headache this morning. Like a hangover. I think it may be the Nytol I took as my sleep is still crap (averaging about 4 hours a night). It knocks me out, but doesn't seem to improve the length/quality of my sleep, and I don't want another headache like this morning so think I'm going to have to give those a miss from now on.

Hope everyone has a good day x

Ha ha ! lux sounds like my old cure for period pain- take one bottle of red& consume. Didn't really help the pain but used to do it anyway. Thankfully that's in my past.

tiger write it down and put the note up somewhere where you can see it. Keep reading and adding to the list. Might just help when you think about drinking.

choc do you know why you feel down? Anything we can help with lovely?
My difficult dc has been slightly calmer since I went af.but it is hard to gauge these things.

dave I'm definitely going to keep going in Feb. No pressure but just see how long I can extend it for

Morning all, Choc Hope things feel better for you soon, I totally understand about our moods and family life, I've been much more patient this month.

Guggs Hope you feel a bit better today, Dave Yes, I want to keep going too, but not pressure myself. If I fancy a drink socially then ok, but I must keep mindful. It's the drinking alone I need to get a handle on.
Tiger After years of knocking it back it is very hard to know what is normal I think, a low level constant hangover was my normal at least.

I am sleeping much more deeply, and thought I would wake up zingy but actually I feel a bit groggy most mornings, just until I've had a coffee. It just struck me that most people do need half an hour to 'come round' after waking, most people don't bound out of bed like Leapy Lee.

Hope everyone else is ok Elba ma Sweet Smallfox and apologies if I missed you out, not intentional.

My family was going to spring themselves on me today. I don't think I would have coped well. I'm just getting used to not drinking in the evening with my husband. So, 17 days AF so far this year. Again I would have been really pleased with myself if I had survived 7 out of 24 days with no booze. I still wake up with a dry mouth even though I drink gallons of tea. I'm not missing alcohol. I just somehow don't know where to put myself at home when other people around me are drinking. It's not the same as going out. I can go to the pub without drinking. It's the home thing at the moment. Perhaps that's just because I only go to a pub once in a blue moon!

Hi babes,

I've not disappeared again, just had a lot on. I'm gonna pop on properly in the next few days but just wanted to say how nice it is to be back and to have such a nice welcome back.

dubh my lovely friend, your posts are sharper and funnier than ever and your post to me touched my heart and made me smile, you are truly amazing!!!!

guggs I'll be back to do a longer post and fill you in a bit on how these months have been, I think you asked what I've been up?.

Big hugs to all my old friends and I look forward to knowing all our lovely new babes.

I love that this bus trundles on with forever changing passengers but is fuelled by the same love, compassion and humour that saved my soul and very probably my life.

I'm so glad to be back xxx