Brave Babes - Barging through 2017 in style

[SweetLathyrus]

Hello, I'm SweetLathyrus (Sweet for short), and I've been hopping on and off Gerald the Brave Babes Battle Bus for three years now because, like some many of us, I struggle with alcohol.

The Bus is a supportive community at all stages in their relationship with alcohol and with lots of different goals - for some, it's abstinence, for others it's moderation, for others, it's just about getting a bit of control and perspective.

So, if you think you'd like to join us, don't be shy, flag us down and jump on board and share as much or as little as you feel comfortable with; sometimes there will be silliness, but there will always be help and support.

If you would like to know how the Bus first rattled into action, here is the first ever thread

And if you would like to know where we have been more recently, here is the most recent thread

Hello all. Will read back when I am feeling less depressed. Right now I'm laying bets with myself as to which of Theresa May and Donald Trump is likely to be the first to drive me back to drink. Keep telling myself I just stay angry and engaged - all I really want to do is curl up with my family until the world becomes sane again. Which could be a long wait.

Ranting with becks blue in hand doesn't quite cut it, does it?

Please, SmallFox, don't beat yourself up about things over which you have absolutely NO CONTROL! I know what you mean. My life is littered with times I have got hideously drunk on behalf of other people. Really I can't take the strain any more. I think for me, alcohol is like being in a relationship with someone who can be great, great fun, but also has the habit of beating me up both physically and mentally. Although I am drinking far less than I have for decades, I have taken up smoking with a vengeance. When I stopped smoking I drank for Britain. At least I have succeeded in stopping smoking for a few years. I have never tried to stop drinking despite it leaving long shadows and being haunted by drunken behaviour wherever I go. For me, I think at the moment drinking is an excuse of sorts for watching opportunities go by, for making my worthlessness concrete, and instead of hitting the ground running, I just hit the ground and crash. It's difficult to disentangle since my behaviour since I was a child has been self-destructive.

Small, I had to turn off the radio after I heard myself shouting "Shut up you fucking bitch". DS thought it was hilarious

Thanks Tiger - you are wise and correct, but it is hard to do.

Sweet you cheered me up - thanks! DD (who is 6) listened to the 'highlights' (ha!) of the speech over supper with me and observed my rising apoplexy. She said kindly at the end 'you know Mummy, it is good that women are in charge and I am proud of that but they don't have a good track record in this country do they, what with Thatcher and now this one.' #proudmummy. (Apologies tho, don't want to offend anyone, this is an apolitical bus).

A well bought up girl obviously, Small.

But, as you say, an apolitical bus, and if this whole Brexit thing, drives Mrs May to drink, I will offer her a seat, a welcome and an opal fruit like everyone else.

Bet she's a right pisshead when she gets going whereas wee Nicola will be a bolshy in yer face drunk!
I'm knackered. An all day strategy day with the Board of Directors has left me knackered.I had one glass of wine.
It's creeping back in.....

Now there's a bar brawl I'd pay to see, Ma , my money is definitely on Nicola, but I think Theresa would fight dirty - she'll grab off a kitten heel and swing it at Nicola, who dodges, smashes a glass on the bar and beckons her on . . !

Are you able to stop at the one? Put on the kettle? Bastard work stress.

I do seem to be in a very sweary mood, must be pms.

Yeah, I just had one. The rest is in the fridge. Just annoyed at myself for having one. Am going to go to bed.

Trying not to think about anything political at the moment, but smiled at the kitten heel bash up in the bar scene.

You had one glass ma very restrained if you can leave it there tonight. You're mindful of 'the creep' I know I will have to stay vigilant so I understand.

I have itchy eyes so going to have a very early night and wish you all sweet dreams x

Sweet, restful dreams, both

In bed too. Sober and unmedicated, so hopefully yoga and a bath will help with sleep. Early start tomorrow and probably a minimum 13 hour day- tomorrow night will be the challenge, however strong my resolve is now. Stocked up on finger beer so no need to stop at the shop...

Night all

Ginger beer not ginger should learn to proof read

Finger

Inspired by Elba and Dave I ran 6km this afternoon and was feeling good until DH came home and started being a fuckwit. Feel your pain Sweet. Then I had to phone various members of my family who are all pissed off because of my cousin's decision not to invite my brother to his wedding. Family stress is so exhausting.

Sorry not to NC but too knackered. Day 18 tomorrow, can't believe it. Starting to worry about the plan (or lack of it) for Feb. Night babes.

Another AF day over. ✔

Gym done. ✔
Run done. ✔
In bed watching Sherlock. ✔
Sends love to all the brave bus babes ❤

Night all

No bloody sleep again- going to be a long, long day. Better than a hangover though I guess.

Have a good day all

Up early myself Elba, exhausted with hangover type symptoms even though I've not drunk since January 2nd! Will it never end.
Hope everyone has a good day. It's almost the weekend!

Morning Mint, Morning Elba lack of sleep is a bugger. I had that yesterday but wasn't too bad last night. Mint I used to wake up with hangover symptoms quite often in the early days. I think it's your body getting used to being AF. It is a huge shock to the system for us regular drinkers. Anyhow, shoulders back, tits out and smile. Have a good day babes

Morning all. Ok, was put on Elleste Duet HRT late last year and now have an incredibly painful period! Any menopause experts out there? I don't think this is supposed to happen. I don't need this!!!!!!

Ma sorry you're in pain, no useful advice, sorry x

Morning All.

Ma, I have no helpful advice, but lots of sympathy.

Elba, Mint I think it must be the phase of the moon or a change in air pressure, but I had a rubbish night too. But as you say, easier to work through it without a hangover.

Another busy work day for me. But today is a day I will not drink.

dementedma I am on that too and have very painful periods. My GP said if you used to have painful ones (I did - excruciatingly bad) then when you get the bleed on the tablets it will be the same. I've found it helpful in lots of other ways but I totally sympathise with your pain. Mine are also ridiculously heavy - so much so that I'm badly anaemic again (something I've struggled with for years). At least they picked that up when I went for the liver/kidney/MOT bloods the other week so I'm now on three iron tablets a day for the foreseeable. (Had to laugh as my hands started getting pinker again. My yellow hands had me convinced I was in liver failure but I was too scared for ages to get checked .)

Might be worth asking to try a different type though. My GP said I should stay on it for six months then review. I think on balance it's helping me more than hindering...

Crikey. The stuff we women put up with. My older DD has just started her periods and it's really sore for her too. I'd done all the prep with her - started years ago - so puberty and all its joys wouldn't be a shock - but had played down the period pain aspect, hoping it wouldn't be as rubbish for her. But it is.

My own mum was SO CRAP about periods - but I think that's probably about twenty blog posts right there so I won't ramble (too late).

Still drinking. Not analysing anymore, which is a bit of a relief. No more "why oh why?!" If I have a drink I want more and end up drunk. Basically, that's it. And soon I will stop for good and will be free... which terrifies me but also is starting to excite me too. First preparation meeting tomorrow!

Have a fab day, everyone.

It's so difficult, UnwiseOldElf. Having spent so much of my adult life in a fucked up haze, it's hard to know how many opportunities I have missed. I'm now in my 50s. I'm not there yet. It is like doing a handbrake turn in a container ship and I had never considered alcohol to be part of the problem. To have spent 14 out of the 18 days so far this month without alcohol for me is really big. It would have been really big to have spent 4 days of the previous 18 days without alcohol.

I have dropped in and out of these threads over the years, alcohol feeling maybe like a member of the family I don't want to abandon. Who knows what the future holds, but at least just for now it feels as though a heavy cloud is lifting.

Morning all,

sympathies to the rubbish sleepers. Ma no useful advice about the HRT, I am having erratic periods though, sometimes every other week (nice) and sometimes not for weeks on end. I get very hot but other than that no real menopause symptoms so far. Hope you perk up later.

Elf big day tomorrow then? I think that the thought an alcohol free future excites you is a really good sign that you are ready to do this, very brave and I'll look forward to hearing how it goes (if you want to share of course, entirely up to you)

Still in awe of you runners (while having no wish to join your craziness it must make you feel great)

Thread moves to fast for me to name everybody but you can be sure I'm reading, and love seeing the beautiful pictures. I'm looking forward to warmer days so I can go and see the sea.