2017 - following on from my bolt out the blue

[aleC4]

So here is my new thread as promised. I have found it so therapeutic writing on here and have received some great advice and support.
Here's to grabbing 2017 by the horns and making it my year.
(With maybe a few wobbles along the way!)
I can't work out how to link to my old thread on my phone!

Sorry things are so tough for you. Such a loss is hard to bear at any time - but especially after the year we have had.

Do sorry for your loss @aleC4 and hoping you and your family are coping better now 💐

I've only just remembered about this thread and thought I'd make a post for anyone who still remembers me or helped me through those terrible dark days when my exh left.
I can't believe it has now been 5 years. Other than the loss of my dad earlier this year which was devastating, I'm in a good place.
We're coming out the other side, we're learning to live with someone missing and my ds's and I are supporting my lovely mum as best we can. She's doing amazingly well. Good days and bad days but keeping herself busy with friends.
I've had a promotion at work which is going really well, ds got the most amazing gcse results and made us all very proud and dd has just started her first year of them.
Life is ticking along nicely most of the time.
The dc still see their dad although it's only once a week now and they rarely stay over. His house is chaotic, noisy and overcrowded and they prefer being at home.

Good to hear from you aleC4

Onwards and upwards!

Hi OP,

I had a bombshell hit my life in the summer of 2016 and went through a very similar journey to you. I read your posts back then and had totally lost track until this update.

When I look back on the last five years and everything that I have overcome it almost feels as if it was someone else's life. I'm not sure if you feel that way reading your two threads.

I don't know you obviously, but have always been struck by your love for your children and ability to rise above their father's selfish narcissistic woe is me attitude and do your very best to support them through the dark times.

I'm sorry you lost your dad and Covid took away the opportunity to see him more regularly the past year.

Lovely to read your update. Congratulations on the promotion!

I’m sorry to hear about your father, I know how hard that is and supporting your mum and children too. The rest of your news is very heartening, congratulations on the promotion and your son’s results. You should be very proud.

You always struck me as such a sensible and practical woman who would come through all the turmoil in the end. I’m really not surprised that your DC much prefer the calm and steadiness of your home rather than the chaos of their father’s.

I hope your family are beginning to heal from your loss and all the best for the future. 💐

Ah lovely to come back to come messages, thanks all.
Losing my dad has been the hardest thing I have ever been through but we are healing and I have an amazing family and fabulous friends who have been there for me every step of the way.
I really am blessed with my friends. They've laughed and cried with me the whole time.
It's true what you say WTF, it does sometimes feel as though what happened happened to someone else. It's quite surreal in a way.
It's nice to think someone thinks I'm practical and sensible 🤣 I'm not sure I am but it's great if I come across that way!

Sorry about your dad.
5 years though.
Sounds like you and the kids are doing brilliantly. Sometimes you've got to play the long game. I would bet a lot that your ex has regrets. You've been a steady rock for your kids and they'll never forget that. Congratulations on the promotion. I wish you all the happiness for the future.

Thank you for updating. Well done on your promotion. Your positive outlook and deserved family successes are good to read about.

Well done on the promotion!
Here you are getting on with 'a life well lived' - the perfect revenge if such a thing was needed.

So sorry to hear about your Dad.

Tonight is a tough night. I'm not sure why.
I've had a lovely night out with my fabulous friends to celebrate my birthday which is on Thursday.
I think it's maybe because it's my birthday and my first one without my lovely dad, perhaps because I've had a few drinks,,I don't know.
But I know I feel so sad tonight about my dad and it's the first proper cry I've had in ages.

Hi OP
I DO remember you I think...did yr ex try to sell home brew on a market stall and you were a teacher and had a new boiler???

Sorry apart ftom the awful situation you were forced into I remember tge above stuff. I often thought about you.

Im so sorry about yr Dad, it's tough times and with it being your birthday must hurt.

Keep posting my lovely, we're here for you x

So sorry you are sad @aleC4. Your dad is worth those tears, but it is a very tough time for you.

Is it half-term over there? You've been working hard and suddenly stopped - this is the moment you get tired (and feel that grief even more).

I'm hoping that by now you are tucked up and asleep and that you will feel a little better tomorrow even though nothing has changed.

Here are some well-wishes from another tired teacher - one who has much admired you over these recent years.

Ah grief can catch us unawares, months, even years, later. A good old cry will do you good.

Have some rest over half term and maybe wrap up for some long autumnal walks. Then come come home for hot chocolate maybe with a toddy and a side of even more chocolate.

💐

First are always hard. It’s somehow worse when you’re not expecting it. Of course you miss your dad.

Sometimes a cry is the only thing to do. The first time is always difficult whether a birthday or going to a particular shop. Be kind to yourself.

@aleC4 how have you been today x

Thanks for the kind words everyone. Yesterday was a better day, it's half term here so had a nice chilled week planned. It's my birthday later in the week so we were going to visit my Mum for the day and see other family at the weekend.
However ds had a positive lateral flow test this morning so that's put paid to that. Although dd and I can still go about our business I can't risk giving it to my mum.
We've all just been to the test centre for PCR tests and now just have to wait.
Ds id gutted as he had lots of pms s with friends this week.
We had to isolate all over my birthday last year too.
I hate bloody covid.

Phew thought you had disappeared and we've only just got you back @aleC4

Ah that's rough about the positive result, picks it's time doesnt it!!!!
Glad your feeling a bit better

Thanks SortCode.
Still waiting on our PCR results but I'm expecting ds will be positive. He has no symptoms whatsoever but has had one vaccine. His school seems to have a few cases we've heard about including a friend so I think it will be positive.
It's changed our half term plans completely but never mind.
119 said I can go out and about as long as I have my symptoms but is still feel guilty.

Was it a positive test @aleC4

Yes it was 😔
Dd and I have been doing lateral flow tests every day and remain symptom free and negative so far.
Ds is still feeling fine thank goodness and is utterly fed up of being in the same four walls in his room.
It was my birthday yesterday so I let him come downstairs with a mask on while I opened my presents from him and dd. He also had breakfast and dinner with us as we have a very large room downstairs. He sat at none end and we sat right at the other and I made him clean everything he had touched! 😔

Aww what a shame for you all . Hope you managed to do something nice for your birthday. Hopefully you can all celebrate properly when the isolating is over.

I’m hoping this links to my new thread?
www.mumsnet.com/Talk/relationships/4387628-definitely-moved-on-from-my-bolt-out-the-blue?msgid=112035411#112035411