2017 - following on from my bolt out the blue

[aleC4]

So here is my new thread as promised. I have found it so therapeutic writing on here and have received some great advice and support.
Here's to grabbing 2017 by the horns and making it my year.
(With maybe a few wobbles along the way!)
I can't work out how to link to my old thread on my phone!

great news OP.. I absolutely recall you 🌺

So pleased to hear things are going well for you. I am also waiting to see if my workplace will close and it's a bit unsettling. I've read your entire thread and I am so impressed by your fortitude and dignity. I really hope you continue to thrive.

@aleC4 I think of you often and wonder how you're doing, in fact funnily enough I was just thinking of you earlier this week. I'm so glad you're all doing OK

I still check in on you, so pleased that things are ok at the moment. Take care

It's really nice to hear from you sometimes, aleC4, you deserve a period of (relative!) calm after all the crap you've been through!! xx

Ah so lovely if you all to reply, thanks for that.
I'm so pleased with how things are too.
Yes I don't always have the money to do everything I would like but we have a nice roof over our heads, we eat well, and the kids pretty much do and get what they want - most of the time!
I love the fact that my money is mine and I know exactly where it is all going! It's so different to when I was married to someone who overspent all the time.
Sorry can't remember who asked but coffee with mil was nice thanks. I got all the gossip she had and I was reassured that she is still well and truly in my camp! She just has to do what she's told with fil.
I really do feel these days as if I had a lucky escape.

What a super update and thanks for sharing. Sounds as though all is well and long may it continue for you and your dc’s

Evening all and thanks for so much support, wow what a few days.
It's tough being a teacher right now.
Today has been without doubt the most difficult day of my teaching career ever.
What do you do with a group of 5 year olds breaking their hearts because they don't understand why they can't come to school for so long? Why they can't see their friends? Why for some, their one safe place is being taken away.
My god there have been tears, so many tears. The children, the parents, the teachers.
It's been a rough day to be a teacher today.

Big hugs to you aleC4

Yes, what a whirlwind the last few days have been. Feeling very emotional and overwhelmed by it all.

Lots of tears from year 6 and year 11 in the schools where my dc attend

Take care and stay safe

It feels so strange not going into work today.
We're working on a rota basis and I'm not in until Wednesday. I feel we may be on lockdown by then anyway.
My kids are at their dads until lunchtime, I can't wait to get them safely back with me. I'm anxious about them going there at the moment as ow has a big family and they're not observing social distancing very well I don't think.
If Boris announces lockdown tonight they won't see him for a long time. I don't know what they will have arranged with him in terms of days to see him but it's usually Tuesday. I need to make sure they are back before the Boris update so they are back with me!

Hi aleC4,

I stopped reading Mumsnet for a couple years but with trying to reduce news reading at the moment I've popped back.

So good to see you are still posting and still moving forward with you life.

I hope you are all coping with this difficult time. It made me cry what you said about school. I have 3 young DC home with me and I can tell my kids school is genuinely devastated they can't run school normally for them. It's a real vocation and you teachers are amazing.

I hope your kids are ok too. Tough times for all.

aleC just caught up, I hope you and DS and DD and your family are well.

You could put all this in a book!

Goodness I ha ent written in here for the whole of lockdown!
We are doing really well, thanks for asking.
It was weird and a bit lonely to start with but the dc are increasingly good company and ds and I have become particularly closer during lockdown.
I am now back at work full time after initially working on a rota to look after key workers children. We have a week to go until summer. Ds has been into school a few times as he is Y10. Dd hasn't and she has surprised herself by missing school a lot.
We don't have a lot planned for the summer yet but hopefully we'll find a few things to do together.
I have very little to do with exh these days. 90% of Omani I action is done through the kids. They didn't see him at all for three weeks at the start of lockdown but now see him once a week which seems to be going on.
I can't believe it is nearly 4 years since we split up.

It's nice seeing your update Op, and I'm really pleased that you and the DC are doing so well. I've followed your threads since the beginning and I can't believe it's been 4 years either, where did that time go?

Hope you and the DC have a lovely summer.

Great to read your update OP you are doing so well and your children sound so lovely xx

It's my four year single parent anniversary today. Four years! Where has that time gone?
On this day four years ago I was a mess. I thought my life had been ruined, my kids works turned upside down and the thought of a future on my own was terrifying.
I wish I had known then what I know now. The dc and I have a great life. Yes we have our ups and down like any parent with teenagers but on the whole we are very lucky.
I own my own home, we travel abroad, I've just bought a new car, I've had a promotion and I'm surrounded by so many amazing family and friends of any of us ever have a wobble.
I can hand on heart say I'm happier than I've ever been. It's only really now I can see the parts of me he had changed without me realising. I am myself now. I make my own decisions. I do what I like and if it goes wrong it's my fault and I deal with it.
My dc are happy and confident. They are doing well at school and have hobbies and many friends.
Four years gone and I'm happy with my lot.

What an amazing update OP, you sound so happy and strong. 4 years ago you were at rock bottom and now look, flying high. You are an inspiration.

Good for you. So pleased to hear this update, and particularly that you're all thriving. Kudos to you for being a rock of strength for the kids, you're reaping the rewards now.

You are amazing

Thanks everyone. I really do feel like I'm actually me again now.
I don't feel like I was controlled by my ex as such, but certainly sometimes I didn't say what I really felt for an easy life and didn't always do what I wanted because it would cause a 'debate'. Never an argument. He always called it a debate.
The problem was his opinion always had to be right.
I'm so proud of the person I am now. It hasn't been easy and at times I would have lived another adult beside yo talk things through. But I didn't have that so just had to make the decisions and do be it.
I honestly can't say I've made many wrong ones.
Looking at my kids today, at the independent people they have become, I definitely think I've done something right,

Hope you marked, or are marking this milestone with some 🍾🍹🍸🍷 and possibly some 🍰🧁🍫or 🍦🍨. And here's some 💐. Hope you are having an excellent weekend Op.

Fabulous update!
@aleC4

Lovely update.

I loved your update AleC4. You are such an inspiration!

I came across Mumsnet by chance around four years ago when I was doing a search on something to do with higher education. Reading a relevant thread coincided with your first post about your husband leaving you and I opened it out of curiosity. Being new, I found all the initial comments predicting another woman to be surprising and followed the thread to see if they proved correct. I have read your posts with interest ever since and have been full of admiration for the way you have coped with dignity and how strong you have been for your children.
This is my first post; I was determined that I would not comment on any thread before I posted on yours out of some kind of weird sense of loyalty and did not want to miss out before this thread ran out of space.
Thank you for continuing to update us on your situation, it is lovely to read about the progress you and your family have made and the contentment you have achieved. I am confident your threads have been helpful and inspiring for others in similar situations to yours.
Very best wishes.