Active discussions

Meet the Other Phone. Flexible and made to last.

Meet the Other Phone.
Flexible and made to last.

Buy now

Please or to access all these features

Talk
Relationships

Mumsnet has not checked the qualifications of anyone posting here. If you need help urgently or expert advice, please see our domestic violence webguide and/or relationships webguide. Many Mumsnetters experiencing domestic abuse have found this thread helpful: Listen up, everybody

Original poster

2017 - following on from my bolt out the blue

999 replies

aleC4 · 01/01/2017 21:19

So here is my new thread as promised. I have found it so therapeutic writing on here and have received some great advice and support.
Here's to grabbing 2017 by the horns and making it my year.
(With maybe a few wobbles along the way!)
I can't work out how to link to my old thread on my phone!

OP posts:
nigelforgotthepassword · 07/01/2017 12:28

Jesus. You ok op?

nigelforgotthepassword · 07/01/2017 12:29

Are THEY ok?
What an absolute cockthistle.

Original poster
aleC4 · 07/01/2017 15:26

They are not overly happy about it. Ds not said much. Dd said it was weird because she wanted to go into her dad's room when she woke up and she couldn't. 🙁

OP posts:
nigelforgotthepassword · 07/01/2017 16:13

Jesus but your ex is an unfathomable twat.Angry

WetNovemberDay · 07/01/2017 16:19

Bloody hell!! He does not think things through much does he?

Original poster
aleC4 · 07/01/2017 18:14

I know.where was the 'if ow was to stay over how would you feel?'. Just throw the poor kids in at the deep end once again.

OP posts:
nigelforgotthepassword · 09/01/2017 07:28

Best wishes for a good week op

Hobbitwife001 · 09/01/2017 16:18

Hope you're ok, OP, just read your whole first thread through, you're an amazing lady, you ex is an arsebiscuit, another one whose been through the same thing here.

Original poster
aleC4 · 11/01/2017 19:03

I have news - my mortgage has finally been approved!! Hooray! At last. It's only taken 4 months. I feel so relieved.
Next step is the solicitors. It's far from sorted but at least I know now it is definitely going o happen. It feels like a proper start to the new year now. I can actually start moving on and be completely financially independent apart from maintenance:

OP posts:
london333 · 11/01/2017 19:06

What good news - many congratulations.
Have watched with admiration how well you've dealt with everything that's been thrown at you. You're such a positive role model for your children.

kaitlinktm · 11/01/2017 20:29

Wonderful news! Grin

BearFeet · 11/01/2017 20:54

De-lurking to say I'm so pleased for you. Brilliant news.

toldmywraath · 11/01/2017 22:25

aleC brilliant news & that is just the start to 2017! Onwards & upwards.

whitehandledkitchenknife · 11/01/2017 22:32

Happy New Year aleC4 - and what fabulous news to start it all with. Keep doing what you're doing, loving your children and loving yourself Star

WetNovemberDay · 11/01/2017 22:39

Brilliant news. Im so pleased for you x

SadTrombone · 12/01/2017 00:51

OP I just read your entire last thread all at once and just wanted to say how incredibly strong you are - a genuine inspiration
So glad you got your mortgage sorted after all the hassle you had with the previous lender (or not-lender as it turned out!)
Best wishes for the new year pet FlowersStar

nigelforgotthepassword · 12/01/2017 07:03

Cracking! Good news good news Smile

jumie · 12/01/2017 13:50

Wonderful news.

Butterfly30 · 12/01/2017 21:31

Delurking as I have been following your thread for a while.

I am so happy that your mortgage has finally been approved! You have been so strong. Onwards and upwards now.

MegCleary · 15/01/2017 14:18

Delighted for you re the mortgage

Original poster
aleC4 · 17/01/2017 17:49

Still here everyone, plodding along.
Mortgage still not finished, just waiting for the solicitors now. Why do they do everything so slowly?
We are doing ok, me and the kids.we have settled into our own routine now and it mostly works.
Ex has been pissing me off. He keeps seeing ow on a Friday night when he has the kids. He has 5 other nights he could see her including Saturday. The kids want to just chill out and have time with just him. It upset me when dd said she couldn't go in her dad's room to see him in the morning because she was there.
He also told them they couldn't go bowling on Friday night because he was short of money until payday - 25th. Yet he tagged himself out in a bar with her on Saturday night and having Sunday dinner in a pub the following day. I can see straight away where his priorities lie and sadly I don't think it is with his kids.

OP posts:
nigelforgotthepassword · 18/01/2017 13:03

And unfortunately as they get older the kids will also come to realise where his priorities lie.Thankfully they have you to rely on.
He needs to have a good look at himself.Thats all there is to say.Nothing you could say to him would make him either see what he's doing is in any way wrong and too soon for the kids, or change it.

Solicitors are a law unto themselves. Everything takes ages or else they are in a massive hurry-nothing in between it seems!

Original poster
aleC4 · 25/01/2017 22:23

Hi, still here. Been neglecting my thread a bit of late. I really must come back to it, it helps me so much to write things down.
Things are plodding along here. My mortgage is all signed off from the lenders point of view. However, now my solicitor won't complete until they know my ex has taken legal advice. They need the Deed of Transfer signed by him in the presence of a solicitor. I guess this is fair enough and it is really a good thing for me, it means he has no comeback further down the line.
I have had to ask him to instruct a solicitor and give me the details. He said he has instructed one but is waiting fir their details. I don't think he is dragging his heels because he wants this done as much as I do but I can't help but feel suspicious. I am ready for a letter from his solicitor stating he wants more money even though he has been happy with the figure all along.
It is still all so stressful. I honestly thought getting the mortgage would be the hard bit but it is still dragging. He has gone quiet as well and did not answer a text I sent him about the solicitor. Very unlike him, especially as I have seen him tonight.
I hope I am wrong to be suspicious and worried but I have a nasty feeling I am about to be entered into a big fight. 😔

OP posts:
kaitlinktm · 26/01/2017 09:00

Your instincts are likely to be right as you know him best. I think it's despicable how these men can suddenly not want the best thing for their children and it becomes all about them. Does your solicitor think he has a case for asking for more money?

nigelforgotthepassword · 26/01/2017 10:07

Fingers crossed that he chooses not to compound his frankly crap behaviour by then being greedy about the finances on top.
But steal yourself op just in case.if my experience is anything to go by it wouldn't be surprising if he started cocking about at the final hurdle.