Post separation xmas survival thread?

[Bitlessbahhumbug]

First Christmas separated, my ex is being very lovely (better than him being horrible I know) and every time I see him or talk to him to sort out dc presents etc I still go through doubts about having left. My brain is starting to function better and catches up fairly fast these days to remind me of the shit!

Therapy is helping with a lot.
I'm currently looking for motivational/pull yourself together/move on type things to read or listen to, to survive the holidays and not make any stupid decisions.

Anyway, does anybody want a space to vent or just fill time on some of the lonelier days? I'm feeling quite good at the moment but I'm often up and down.

Ha! Yes, I'd say that was a non starter!!

I was terribly unhappy when I was married. I know now that my husband was abusive and had alcohol issues. Looking back I realised there wasn't a single
Weekend in 7 years when he hadn't been drunk.

I wanted to leave for a couple of years but he'd say he'd make sure I'd never see our daughter and I knew he wouldn't move out and I had nowhere to go.

Since separating I've not mourned the end of our relationship at all. I started online dating in June which was about a year after we separated. and quite enjoy it but not met anyone I want to have a second date with yet (well I did but I never heard from them again!)

Its good that you are no longer in that marriage even though the holidays are lonely.

Did you meet your friend today?

I am sorry that NYE is going to be so very sad remembering your mum. It must be making this whole holiday so much more difficult. Have you thought of what you might do?

I did meet my friend. I had a nice time but spent too much money.

My husband was terrible to my mother. She wanted to have a relationship with him but he didn't.

I really don't know what to do. I was thinking of going back to where I grew up but I don't know if that will upset me. Maybe I'll just watch some box sets and go for a run.

Oh dear re the date. Next!

I have the same feeling about shopping, went with a friend and enjoyed it but feel like I spent too much too!

That's very difficult about NYE and your mum too. What would she want you to do?

That's sad about your mum and your ex. I hope you have happy memories to think about. It's been such a short time really.

oh dear mother. I'd probably stay at home if I were you. Just one evening to get through and then NYD is a new start. I know someone else who lost someone on NYD - it's so hard I know.

I'm without kids now and quite enjoying it. I hadn't realised how tired I am and am managing to sleep really well and long.

Today visiting a friend but alone for NYE. Have been doing the 100happydays thing - it really helps. A few of my self-help books (I have many!) talk about writing down things that you're grateful for and I think this does really help. Even when you're feeling really crap and all you can think of is that it's a sunny day, or you had a nice cup of coffee with a friend, it still makes you feel more positive.

My mum would say stop dwelling on the past. You've got nice hair, a lovely child, good friends, people like you. Wash your face and get out!

Ha ha She used to say sometimes situations seemlike Harry Potter sometimes all you can see is platform 9 and platform 10 and you don't know what to do and then platform 9 3/4 appears.

Less than 24 hours left of this year. And thank fecking goodness!

Your mum made sense motheroreilly.

Yes bank I too am happy to see the end of this year.

10 hours must feel good

Went for a run today!!

Well, final hurdle to get over tonight.

Ex partner (split in August) is in New York with his new girlfriend... oh sorry, fiancée as they got engaged. Good luck to them, especially her - he was certain he wanted to marry me when we first got together. I was the love of his life, nobody deserved to be his wife more.. etc. All bollocks and just part of his love bombing to suck you in. Hopefully he won't get bored with her, start the heavy drinking and all the other shit I put up with. Dodged a bullet (but it still hurts!). MUCH better off on my own though!

Here's to a better New Year for all of us Onwards and upwards! xxx

i'm in a similar situation Billericay. I can't wait for a new year, new start.

Tonight ok, I'm watching netflix, drinking gin.

Next year will be brilliant for all of us!

I am looking forward to 2017.

I would like to:
Come to an agreement about our finances
finalise my divorce
Buy myself my own little house and new car
Get to a state of meh about my stbxh and his awful behaviour
Go on some adventures
See more of my far away friends
Keep running and do another 10k race
Maybe go on a date or two

Does anyone else have any goals for next year?

This evening I am watching the Hary Potter film that I recorded yesterday, eating a fab, home made curry and drinking a cocktail.

I'll probably be in bed by 10!

Oooooh plans! I like making plans.

Well, mine will be meeting my son in April....losing 6 stone & making sure I'm the best mum I can be to my baby

Next year will be brilliant for all of us!

I'm holding you to this Judith

Another one home with netflix. No gin though as I'm a vodka girl

Goals?

Move into my new home and make it a haven for me and my DC.
Try dating.

My goals:
Finalise divorce
Buy house
Spend more time with the wonderful friends that have supported me
Maintain my fabulous "lost weight after traumatic break-up" body
DTD with willing hot man before my birthday (my birthday last but one was last time DTD with my ex )

Reckon that lot will keep me busy!

Loving these plans:

1. Sort out on/off DP for good
2. New home for me, DD and DC2 due in June
3. Exercise - keep fit and get fitter once DC2 out!
4. Finances - get a grip and save
5. Do something every day to feel happy and blessed
6. Depending on outcome of #1 - get on tinder once DC2 is evicted

Currently watching Dawn French on telly. Not really entertaining me.

Plan for next year -

Do new things
Do things that make me happy
Spend more time with nice people
Like myself

I am liking the goals everyone, especially this one Faffalotty:

do things that make me happy

Need a boost guys!

Struggling tonight 1. Post separation 2. It's his bday today & 3. I hate new year every year!

Mum & family have dragged me out so I'm not alone at home....feeling a bit shit to be fair....trying to stay positive that il be having my baby boy next year.

Hope you are all having a better evening than me!

I've had 3 glasses of wine which usually means i don't post. But its good to read positive plans as having one of my less good days.

Biggest thing for me 2017 is getting a job. I havent worked in many years and my mental health is shit just now so this feels huge. Bigger than the upcoming divorce.

Also making some friends in the city where i live now. I've made a tiny start.

Fuck, really hope 2017 is better than this year.

I'm watching the good wife. Love it. And drinking .

Thinking of you tonight motheroreily.

Sorry xpost Wynter. Glad you have family. When is your little boy due? Sorry if I've missed that on thread.