Post separation xmas survival thread?

[Bitlessbahhumbug]

First Christmas separated, my ex is being very lovely (better than him being horrible I know) and every time I see him or talk to him to sort out dc presents etc I still go through doubts about having left. My brain is starting to function better and catches up fairly fast these days to remind me of the shit!

Therapy is helping with a lot.
I'm currently looking for motivational/pull yourself together/move on type things to read or listen to, to survive the holidays and not make any stupid decisions.

Anyway, does anybody want a space to vent or just fill time on some of the lonelier days? I'm feeling quite good at the moment but I'm often up and down.

I've had years of hard Christmas' and I've finally realised that I don't have to have a good time, it's another day of my life that I want to make the most of but my life is different to others and that's just the way it is.

I don't always understand why things have happened to me, I've been told I'm very pretty (I have a job that you have to be that), I am told I have a great personality and a wonderful ds but I just haven't met a good guy to spend my life with yet and I have let men treat me badly in the past.
Everyone, please give yourself permission to not have the day that society expects you to have, that's not real life. The more I've accepted that life is different for me than some others the happier I've got.
Virtual hugs to everyone who's on their journey.

Second Christmas post split here. I phoned the solicitors on 4th Jan 2015. Divorce came through in Dec 2015. Just split from boyfriend though (he kindly dumped me 2 weeks ago - I was really looking forward to spending Christmas with him and my children) and feeling pretty miserable here. Have good and bad days and today isn't very good!

I know i'm better off without both of them, and that being single is better than being in a bad/miserable relationship, but it's so hard at Christmas.

Just cracked open the gin.

Just going to get through this and the next few days and then try to see 2017 as a new, positive start.

Ooh gin!

I'm with you on that one Mary

Just had a long hot shower and now feel ready to face the day. Glad rags and brave face will be on for when I get to my parents and get dd's back later.

I'll be f@cked if I'm going to let a man ruin mine and my dd's day!

I feel better now billericay . 1 gin down. But can't overdo it or I'll be hungover and sobbing by tea time.

Fuck men. We are all better off without them and 2017 will be the best year yet!

Definitely new starts in 2017 all round Mary.

Men can be very selfish creatures and we are certainly better off without them.

I'll have a gin for you when I get to my parents to save you having too many - gin can make you very emotional! xx

In winter vomiting bug news, my breakfast has STAYED DOWN.

Does this mean I can move on to gin?

Can you all have a drink or 3 for me!

I think it would be foolish not to Boundaries

Merry Christmas all, I'll have a little vent.

Separated from dh in the summer, he swings from behaving like a dick then being strangely normal. I suggested him picking up dd this afternoon and spending the rest of Xmas day/most of boxing day with his family, as there are more kids over there. At the time he told me that was unreasonable as he wouldn't get Xmas morning with her.... then more recently when I suggested him picking her up Xmas eve instead (as he normally does on a Saturday) , said "well I'm going out now, so I would rather have her with my family the next day as they see her less than yours do." Totally forgetting it was my suggestion in the first place.

He has asked me to pick dd up from his parents, who I hate, tomorrow. I shall have to suck it up.

Right now, im having a small cry and hoping and yearning like mad to have a man who actually loves me by my side this time next year. Off to my parents later to get slightly drunk.

I'm no good at keeping up with these sorts of threads so apologies if I'm not back, hope you all have a peaceful time this year.

Ham is in the slow cooker and I'm still lazing about in bed. Kids are amusing themselves and their father is taking them out for a run around soon. I'll get veg ready for roasting while they'e out and crack open the first bottle of bubbly.

As long as I can withdraw somewhere quiet my bed after dinner if I need then I think I will cope.

Wynter will def have a glass for you.

Isn't the quinine in tonic good for you? (do they still have quinine in tonic?!)

Mary it's good for malaria

Shit, I'd hate to get malaria on top of this bug.

I always think it must be generally quite a healthy thing to drink

It's basically a berry Mary.

Practically a superfood.

I hope you've all had days somewhere on the scale between bearable and fun.

My day was ok in the end. I am back home now after spending the day at my parents' place. At least I didn't have to put up with my miserable cow of a mil or my stbxh drinking himself stupid.

Now it's done with, we are all a step closer to a new year and a fresh start.

I hope everyone has had as good a day as possible xx

Glad it was ok Tapir. How has everyone else's day been? How is your tummy Boundaries?

I've had a pleasant uneventful day. Stbx here from 6.30 am. Has gone home. Children asleep.

I'm trying hard to remember nothing is normal at Xmas because I am regretting leaving and breaking up our family right now. I hope that's not insensitive to say on here.

Its some comfort that I knew I'd feel like this. And I am not finding it as difficult as i thought I would.

After nearly 20 years he thanked me for having him.

Will probably have some prosecco and watch TV now.

My number one resolution for next year is to learn how to play an Xbox.

Tummy is much better, thank you.

I'm glad your days were ok, Bit and Tapir

I think regrets are inevitable at a time of year when "family" is shoved down your throat from every angle. But there's more than one way to have a successful family.

there's more than one way to have a successful family

Very true. And parents being together does not equal successful happy family.

Hang in there everyone.

Had a happier Christmas today with XH than the last few with him for sure - people are baffled by my new family setup as 'not normal' but much happier with his company now than when we were marrow s

*married

Thanks all for the camaraderie today. Made it! Just got tomorrow to contend with as the DCs go to his house.

Hi fatty me too. They have gone till weds pm. They have been so cheerful and fun. I hate an empty house. Have you got plans for today?
My house is trashed.

Fatty?!

I've got lots of decorating to do but it looks so nice out. I've damaged my foot so can't walk but might try a leisurely bike ride.

Fresh air and exercise are great for lifting the mood