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Original poster

Anyone else happy to stay single forever

371 replies

Gorgeoussunset · 18/12/2016 13:20

I am divorced and have been single for 5 years now. I genuinely do not hate men and have many male friends and some family. But unlike some of my female friends I don't want to be in a relationship. I don't have any need for a man in my life, and don't see that changing. I'm a bit surprised to feel like this, but not regretful. Some of my friends claim to understand but then go on about meeting the right person etc. Wonder if anyone else feels this way?

OP posts:
roodie · 26/12/2016 11:26

True people are the product in a bar/gym i guess. Still more fruitful than just hoping it will happen. OLD has made me braver. Gone on two real life dates that i wouldnt have been brave enough for if it hadnt been for the carpe diem why not attitude ive topped up meeting strangers.
i wont meet somebody sitting at home that's for sure.

pieceofpurplesky · 26/12/2016 11:37

After reading all the moaning in hear about bad presents, lazy fuckers and porn obsessives over Christmas I am glad I am single. Exh was a lazy fucker at home and shit at buying presents. This has been my happiest Christmas with just parents and DS to
Please!
What I need is someone to take me out once a week. Good conversation, food and followed by great sex. Then back to my own house

May50 · 26/12/2016 12:19

Pieceofpurple that sounds ideal - I really don't think I ever want a full-time partner again . I had a lovely Xmas day with kids and GP. Only been separated a few months, at the moment I think I'm going to prefer to be alone for ever, but I'm sure over time I may want the odd date now and then....

Shiningexample · 26/12/2016 13:24

for me not living together is the key to harmony, there's just nothing to argue about when you have separate finances and domestic chores

noego · 26/12/2016 14:05

Pieceofpurple. may50.

Come join the revolution :o)

noego · 26/12/2016 14:23

Single bells, single bells, single all the way
Oh what fun it is to side in the free and single play ..............

daddyorscience · 26/12/2016 18:12

I'm 50/50 on it.. It's been 2 years since we split, she's remarried, got together 2 weeks post split. Seems mostly happy, complains a lot, gets depressed, drinks a bit, but that could be many things. Our kids are happy with us both. I'm finding going solo can be lonely at times, and sometimes backup would be nice, but I can see who I want, talk to anyone, do anything, anytime... No justification, no explain, no "be back by this time", no 3rd degree. I miss the company, and the intimacy. I don't miss the rest, at least I don't think I do..

RolfsBabyGrand · 26/12/2016 18:32

Been a single mum for 9 months now. At first the loneliness was awful. But now I feel happy and free. I look back on the relationship and like others it was all compromise - by me - I was the only one who saved money, I had to make all decisions, even when I went clothes shopping I'd be put off buying stuff cos I knew he'd criticise. It was shit. Now I decorate to my taste, spend my weekends how I like, eat what and when I like. I love being single!

Fadingmemory · 26/12/2016 18:32

Single and happy being free. A relationship would be so limiting.

1DAD2KIDS · 26/12/2016 18:59

I am really undecided. I like my one space and freedom. I enjoy the experiance and variety of causal dating. Have met so many intresting people and some great connection. But yet there is something missing that I can put my finger on. I think the only way to really find out what works for me is to try a relationship and see how it feels?

therealpippi · 26/12/2016 19:00

YES!!!

tennisball · 26/12/2016 20:37

Ok happy singles, I think I will be happy too, but one thing I worry about is holidays with kids. Don't really want to burden other friends and family. Anyone share good experiences? Is it best to go to a family resort with entertainment? Or remote cottage somewhere? All inclusive abroad?

1DAD2KIDS · 26/12/2016 20:54

OK going off subject a bit. Not much bearing for me on this subject as I am not looking for a mother to my kids. I have not much intrest I must say in mixing my relationship with my family life. At least having someone else around for my kids is not in the slightest a consideration for me. I have a 1 and a 5 year old. Yes it is possible to go alone with them but bloody hard work. They had tones of fun you come back needing a holiday. I would say holiday parks work best for me; a little bit more freedom to play in a secure enclosed environment. But my ex did tag along with us for a couple of days for the Blackpool illuminations this year and it is easier with with two adults and the kids can get to do a lot more (e.g. pretty limited in a swimming pool with one adult, one 1yo and a 5yo non swimmer). Maybe you should start a thread in the parenting area for advice on this?

1DAD2KIDS · 26/12/2016 20:58

Seriously I could give you some more ideas but maybe on another thread?

tennisball · 26/12/2016 21:26

Ok, I'll do that, thanks!

Fadingmemory · 26/12/2016 21:44

When DD was young I used to go on holiday with a company that specialised in breaks for single parents with children. It worked well for a number of years.

1DAD2KIDS · 26/12/2016 22:43

Fadingmemory I may Google that. That sounds ideal.

therealpippi · 26/12/2016 23:25

I love going on holiday on my own with the dc. It is a great adventure. Mine are older so less wirk for me, easy to entertain themselves and great company. Having said that I used to love it even when they were tiny.

Fadingmemory · 27/12/2016 10:00

The company is called Mango

nicenewdusters · 27/12/2016 20:53

Single now for approx 18 mths. Really surprised at how much I like it. Can't believe the amount of compromise I can now see in the relationships around me.

Two youngish children. They have a pretty involved dad, and I have no intention of introducing another man into their life. Not judging others who do at all, I know it's just not for me. I don't want another man in my house, my routines or mixed in generally with my family/friends.

Selfishly I'd like somebody just for me, somebody who also doesn't want my family, my living space or my domesticity. Just the adult single me; friendship, fun, freedom etc. I have somebody on my radar who may fit the bill. Will have to see what 2017 brings.

therealpippi · 27/12/2016 21:49

Nicenewdusters that's exactly what I'd like, but not for another 2 years at least.
Too happy with my own company at the moment.

Good luck though. Wink

1DAD2KIDS · 27/12/2016 21:49

One thing does spring to mind about when I was married. Despite all the advantages of being single, despite loving my own space, dispite my independence; I miss that emotional support I guess. I miss just getting into bed and having someone to just talk to. Someone I trust to let down all my barriers, someone who knows me and my history. Someone I can talk to about my hopes, my fears, my feelings. Knowing there is an instant cuddle avaliable. Yes I don't need it but I do miss it.

Although MN is a good substitute Smile

Justaboy · 27/12/2016 21:59

1DAD2KIDS Agree on that one. OK now minus cheating deceitful OH now gone, but would still like someone for all the above reasons and a few more:-)

Dunno re MN 'tho!

nicenewdusters · 27/12/2016 22:00

Thanks therealpippi

I totally get what you mean 1Dad The thing I miss most is not being with the other person who feels the same way about my dc as I do. There's nobody else who has the memories of the pregnancies, birth, early days, unique little moments etc. It's sad, but not enough reason to be together.

I also miss somebody making me a cup of tea Brew !

1DAD2KIDS · 27/12/2016 22:10

Justaboy yep agree. You have also reminded me what a big chink in your armour it is in the wrong hands. It hurted more I guess because the person I shared all of me with cheated on me and used her knowlage of my of feeling and emotions to manipulate me to her advantage for years. As must as I miss it is think it would take a lot for me to trust my inner mental workings again.