Anyone else happy to stay single forever

[Gorgeoussunset]

I am divorced and have been single for 5 years now. I genuinely do not hate men and have many male friends and some family. But unlike some of my female friends I don't want to be in a relationship. I don't have any need for a man in my life, and don't see that changing. I'm a bit surprised to feel like this, but not regretful. Some of my friends claim to understand but then go on about meeting the right person etc. Wonder if anyone else feels this way?

[Lemon12345]

Just wanted to clarify that by extreme I didn't mean it as a bad thing, just that I'm on one extreme (end) and you're the other...

[rumred]

Why is being single sad, unless you're completely taken in by xmas ads and tory propaganda?
It's a choice. And a good one for many. I'm so fed up with the discrimination and shite talked about marriage. Being married doesn't make you a better person. Or society a better place. Likely the opposite.
So yeah single happy well adjusted unsad here

[SaltyRock]

Shayelle... it certainly is.

The peace is a balm to my soul.

[Earlybird]

I have been single for many years. I would like love in my life, and would be open to it if the opportunity presented itself, but am not actively searching for it. I am comfortable and content - and not living my life as if something is missing.

I would only want a relationship if it somehow made my life better overall. I have a nice life now, and don't want it to be diminished or compromised. Too many years of unhealthy relationships have made me value my peace of mind.

I never imagined I'd be single for this long. I know I could be a good partner / spouse for someone, but have not found the person who would be a good partner / spouse for me. I am not afraid of being alone.

TBH, I don't see many relationships that I admire or envy.

[NameChanger22]

Well said rumred.

[ALaughAMinute]

There's nothing sad about being single if that's what you choose to do. There will be lots of women reading this thread wishing they had they had the courage to be single but darent leave leave their husbands.

Sad is when you are stuck with a man that you no longer love in my opinion.

[Shayelle]

Ive also lived alone for 8 years now. Its also the best. I dont think I could share living space again. Love the cleanliness, tidyness, peace.

[user1477416713]

Yes, this is (will be) me. Been married, had the kids, don't want any more. Not going to cohabit or be in an exclusive relationship ever again. Enjoying dating, sex and fun though.

Living with someone is bloody hard work (especially my stbxh )

Glad I never stopped working so I am financially independent and can make these choices. Lots of women can't because they are, or feel, trapped by money

[sunnyeyes]

I'm one year post husband. I have no interest in finding any one or being with anyone in any sense. I'm the happiest I've been for a long time. I have a great family and friendship groups and also very much enjoy my own company. I cant see if changing any time in the near future

[Girliefriendlikesflowers]

I have always been single other than a couple of short (6 months and 10months) relationships. I don't know why I have never been able to 'be' in a relationship but I very much like my independence and hate the neediness some men seem to have!

I am certainly not sad about it, agree with pp the real people I have sympathy for are the ones who think shit relationships are better than no relationship!

I am 38yo and have a 10yo dd, I haven't written off ever finding a man that doesn't drive me mad that I could live with but if it doesn't happen

[twofloorsup]

I'm single and have been for the last 4 years or so. One marriage and one long term relationship and now I'm the happiest I've ever been.
Probably because my relationships weren't great but I like the freedom being single gives me and my kids.
I'm definitely not looking for a relationship and the bar is set so high now that I probably will stay single for life. I don't feel sad about it either.

[Hermonie2016]

When I was previously single I remember the feeling of contentment but I agree that society assumes you 'should' to be a couple. The assumption was I was looking for a man and the attitude mostly came from men who needed to know my status.

I do miss another person sometimes, for practical purposes, just a different skill set (like putting up the tent!) or having a partner for holidays
As a newly single I'm reassured to find so many happy people.I am sure I will be sad sometimes but I have often been sad and tearful whilst in relationships.

I am looking forward to single holidays - any good ideas or places to go with children?

[kaitlinktm]

I was with XH for 29 years, married for 23 of them. Two DS now grown up (one still at home though). Divorced at 48 and quite honestly I was exhausted. Too tired with my job and the DS (ex moved abroad) who were older teens by this time. I honestly felt so bruised that it was a relief not to have to think of anyone else's wants or moods - just the DS (and I could always chivvy them along a bit).

Have to confess that as the ten year mark passed and I had made no attempt at dating of any sort, I began to wonder if I had left it too late and now in my sixties I feel I have - especially if you look on dating websites and all the men my age are looking for women 10-15 years younger.

I would never cohabit again but wouldn't have minded a few casual dates, but looking in the mirror (where did that fat old woman come from?) I can't be bothered trying to get into the game again only to be rejected.

I would say that I am mostly content with the odd twinge.

[Allofaflumble]

And of course there are always the cats for company!

[LaPharisienne]

I read that the happiest people are in happy relationships, followed by single people. Those in unhappy relationships come a distant third.

Rang true for me, anyway.

[CatBallou2]

I've been single for a year, after a 32 year relationship, no DC's. I don't think I'll have another one, I just can't see it. I don't mind being single. I'm still adjusting, really. I'm not sure I could live with someone again. I've spent a lot of time on my own over the years due to XP's work, so I have no problem being on my own.

[Lorelei76]

I love being single, it's so great in so many ways. I'm surprised more people don't choose it and honestly think social pressure is a big factor.

[NameChanger22]

Hermonie2016 - if you like camping there's a great little campsite in Wells-next-to-the-Sea, Norfolk which is really child-friendly and lovely. It opened very recently. It's called Blue Skies. We had a great little holiday there.

Our other holidays have been package holidays abroad.

I think it is nice to go on holiday with other people, take a friend with you. We have gone with friends but mostly alone, however we nearly always meet people to hang out with when we get there.

[Shiningexample]

even if men dont behave in a off putting way, I still prefer the peace and solitude of solo living.
No arguments, no putting up with things that other people do, just do what you like when you like, compared to co habiting it's bliss.
One of the best things is better sleep, no one to disturb you with all that breathing and twitching, waking you up when they get up, complaining if you wake them up.
Surely men also find living alone more peaceful.....dont they?
whats not to like?

[Shiningexample]

I think that having had children, and relationships in the past that ended, all the stress of that, well it drains your energy, years and years of your adult life with people wanting things from you

I've just had enough, I'm all out of giving and caring, I just want to be kind to myself now

[Ferrisday]

Widowed
Mid 40's
Very doubtful I will ever let a man into my life for a number of reasons
Trust, confidence, menopause, sheer exhaustion, my DS.
But mainly I just want to be alone
I want peace and quiet and no-one else in my house doing things that I don't want.
I want things to be where I left them, I don't need another person to consider.
I'll miss the sex, but no possible way I could have sex with someone I wasn't close to, so I guess I'm done with that.
I'd like someone to take the rubbish out and empty the dishwasher occasionally.

[LineyReborn]

sixteenclumsyandshy That is a really interesting post (your post at 1.25am) (are you an insomniac, like me?!).

I do agree that male entitlement and destructiveness are bad for men as much as they are bad for women, and many women are now choosing to avoid them because, well, they can.

[PenguinsandPebbles]

I lost about 15st man child

And yes I was very happy being single, me and the cats, took me a while to get to that happy single place but I was happy. Was single for five years.

Had a few flings, I learnt a lot about myself from the flings and just about who I was.

Then met DP

I've not looked back.