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Original poster

To think I should be allowed

191 replies

FuckDaddyPig · 15/12/2016 11:26

To buy my daughter a couple of Christmas presents! OH is mad at me for not Christmas shopping with him. I was just in tesco on my way home from school run and saw a great deal on a couple of dolls. We had already discussed we would get these, so I just grabbed them whilst I was there and the account was full! Now im in the wrong and im getting told off for buying them.(without him)
AIBU to think im a grown woman with 3 kids I should be allowed to buy presents!
He said no other woman would do this without discussing it with their husbands first? I saw a few mummies grabbing some bargains!

OP posts:
YelloDraw · 15/12/2016 11:27

He said no other woman would do this without discussing it with their husbands first

Sounds very controlling unless there is a massive back story about your spending?

Original poster
FuckDaddyPig · 15/12/2016 11:27

Excuse for the error they're Birthday presents (Christmas Eve).

OP posts:
CaraAspen · 15/12/2016 11:27

He sounds like a controlling fool.

pinkyredrose · 15/12/2016 11:28

YANBU! Would he buy something without discussing it with you?

iklboo · 15/12/2016 11:29

Buy him a calendar & point out that it isn't 1950?

deblet · 15/12/2016 11:30

I think he needs to talk to some other mums. I don't know any mums who wait for dad to buy anything. I have had a christmas shopping day with my husband when he has had an odd day off otherwise I buy when I see things. He sounds either a bit odd or a controlling headcase.

Hardshoulder · 15/12/2016 11:30

He said no other woman would do this without discussing it with their husbands first?

What is the context to this weird remark? Are you a SAHP with him controlling the finances, and he thinks you're supposed to ask for permission to spend money, even on pre-agreed purchases? Is he normally a complete pillock?

BernardsarenotalwaysSaints · 15/12/2016 11:31

Load of bollocks. Most people would get them if they saw them, particularly as you've already said she's having them. I know my DH would & so would I.

rightsofwomen · 15/12/2016 11:32

There must be more to this.
This cannot have been the first time you've bought something without discussing with him first. Surely.

Randytortoise · 15/12/2016 11:32

My dc would be waiting a very long time for presents if they had to wait for both me and dh to have time off together to shop!

You were definitely right!

Original poster
FuckDaddyPig · 15/12/2016 11:33

No, no spending history like that etc. He always does this when I shop! Im a woman its my job. He's more bothered about not going with me. Doing it together. But im getting so much shit for it. He starts getting really horrid. Basically this is a tantrum

OP posts:
Frusso · 15/12/2016 11:33

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

NavyandWhite · 15/12/2016 11:33

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

Houseworkavoider · 15/12/2016 11:34

This woman does it all the time!
He is being unbelievably unreasonable!!

xStefx · 15/12/2016 11:35

Is he usually this controlling? Tell him to stop sulking :-)

SoupDragon · 15/12/2016 11:35

Looking at your other thread, why are you with him?

Ineededtonamechange · 15/12/2016 11:36

What? You had agreed to get them - so he was part of the decision making process, but is having a strop for not being there when you put your pin number in?

This is very weird and controlling... My husband doesn't "allow" me to do things - I am an adult and pick and choose for myself.

I wouldn't make decisions about main presents without talking it through, but that is because we are a team and I want his input. But smaller gifts/him actually being there to pay is never a factor.

Very odd.

Original poster
FuckDaddyPig · 15/12/2016 11:36

Its not the first time I am a SAHM he works about 2-4 hours a day. I dont think the money or the presents are the problem. Its the fact I've done most the xmas shopping without him??? Of course ive been the one around to do it!

OP posts:
MrsHouseBrownie · 15/12/2016 11:36

My OH has had zero input this Christmas with regards to kids presents. I get the lot. Mainly cause I love shopping and he doesn't. Its too much effort to drag him round the shops. He can buy other stuff if he wants and so can I. We only consult on the big things that are £££. Sounds very odd to me.

NavyandWhite · 15/12/2016 11:38

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

WhereYouLeftIt · 15/12/2016 11:40

"We had already discussed we would get these"
So the decision was made together, it was just the physical purchase of them that needed to happen.

"He always does this when I shop! Im a woman its my job."
Do you mean it's your job to physically do the shopping, or your job to be in the wrong?

"He's more bothered about not going with me. Doing it together. But im getting so much shit for it. He starts getting really horrid. Basically this is a tantrum"
If he's so bothered about actually being the one to hand over the money, I suggest he does all shopping for the household from now on. Every fucking day/week/month of the year.

As for tantrum - well I'm sure you know how to deal with that. Calmly send him to the naughty step (in your head at least) and do not budge. Tantrums cannot be rewarded.

He sounds a big bit of a knob.

Original poster
FuckDaddyPig · 15/12/2016 11:40

Ive told him he needs to learn his behaviour Is controlling but he cant see why. Im just a bitch for saying that. He's liie jekkyl n hyde. Lol he would talk to other mums but still have his way! I do talk to him about gifts I show him every last thing I want to get.

He himself bought a present last week (I wasn't with him)(I thought nothing of it) I actually said well done for getting such a bargain Smile. I didnt actually give a hoot he'd brought it "without me"

OP posts:
MrsSthe3rd · 15/12/2016 11:42

To be clear YANBU. AT ALL!!

I don't know ANYone that thinks like he does.

This is very odd.

grannytomine · 15/12/2016 11:43

I don't know any men who do the shopping without a gun to their heads. I wonder why he thinks this is normal.

Original poster
FuckDaddyPig · 15/12/2016 11:45

whereyouleftit the naughty step. I like that. God he'll probably give me the silent treatment all day even though ive done sweet f.a. it wasnt big presents they were bikes. Which he went to collect. My friends husband doesn't even come close to xmas shopping he leaves it all to her he even says he cba. My mistake was going alone I got 3 things that came to about £25.

OP posts: