To think I should be allowed

[FuckDaddyPig]

To buy my daughter a couple of Christmas presents! OH is mad at me for not Christmas shopping with him. I was just in tesco on my way home from school run and saw a great deal on a couple of dolls. We had already discussed we would get these, so I just grabbed them whilst I was there and the account was full! Now im in the wrong and im getting told off for buying them.(without him)
AIBU to think im a grown woman with 3 kids I should be allowed to buy presents!
He said no other woman would do this without discussing it with their husbands first? I saw a few mummies grabbing some bargains!

Hi all. We're moving this thread into Relationships now at the OP's request. Thanks and, OP, please do take care.

After reading more of Your life he is utterly awful! You can and will better than this. A partnership is built on trust and respect and it seems he has neither for you! I've never had to account for the money I've spent and where/why etc Please find the strength to get yourself and your children away from him

no i dont know for sure but its a gut feeling

Gizmo you can claim jsa and work as long as its under 16 hours per week however anything over £10/20 (cant remember) is taken off your jsa money. I am assumming OP means that she got her benefits rather than a wage. Some people see receiving benefits as getting paid.

OP if you are facing a long wait for counselling and have historic child abuse, please try rape crisis. Their wait times might be shorter than a GP referral. It wouldn't need to be about what happened to you as a child and could totally focus on your current situation. It just might be a way for you to access longer term help a bit quicker. Please take care, it sounds awful.

I told him I saw plenty of mummies in there picking up presents/toys. He said thats just not possible basically, they would have already discussed it or gone back to their husbands to ask. He is a weird one I must say!

My DH would think I had lost the fucking plot if I attempted to discuss every present purchase with him, OP.

Your man sounds controlling.

Oops posted too soon.

Meant to say please take care, OP. As other posters have said, you need to be away at a safe distance from this man.

for you.

I hope Womens Aid can help you or point in the directly of local support services.
If you feel threatened, even a tiny bit, then please call the police.
The 'scales' are falling from your eyes.
Hopefully you can get him out of your life soon.
Womens Aid can help you with that.

I have a horrible feeling you probably have sex with him all the time for a 'quiet life'?

Once he's out of your life your confidence and self-esteem will pick up massively.
So try to do it sooner rather than later.

Hi OP, I've been thinking about you. I hope you're ok?

Hi everyone. Thank you MrsS im just trying to get through the Christmas period now. Its only a few days away. There is a group im starting to attend every Thursday for women, they do crafts and have relaxing 'me time' though im sure I'll have the baby with me. I seem to be counting every little bastard thing he comes out with thats horrible. Like tonight for example, my girls can have big piece of fish as kids are supposed to have fish fingers and adults the bigger fish, and they only want 'big fish' because i give it to them WTAF! The older one has fish fillets AND fingers in school, you fucking controlling fucktard! (I didnt say that last bit) Just "ok". He didn't want to spend extra money buying 2 more pieces of fish BUT is spending the money it would have cost on beer tonight! Again WHAT THE ACTUAL FUCK!
Do u want a bottle of wine he asks me "no". NO! its ffn Tuesday eve I want to read my book and have an early night, thank you. STOP DRINKING!
Sorry everyone rant over!

Sorry for the aggression. I just want a normal life, hopefully this group and talking to other women will help me to come home one day pack his things and lock the bloody door and chain!

He's also very obsessive of me, I feel like I cant breathe sometimes but I have to show affection everytime or hes starts to feel unloved

What happens when he starts to feel unloved? How do you have to show affection? (And frankly why would you, given he sounds like a complete waste of space).

Why is he controlling the money as if he'd earned it, when his actual (cash in hand) earnings all go straight into his own pocket?

Why are you making a cuppa for him when you've been up for hours with the children?

It's not a woman's job to shop. But it's everyone's job to be treated with respect.

It sounds like you have very little tolerance now you've 'realised' the extent of it all. I'd say that's pretty normal.

It's good that you've got the group to go to. Sometimes just being around likeminded people can relax you.

Don't apologise for ranting, I would say it's better you do it this way, and/or in a safe environment, and at least you're getting it out of your head.

for you.

I just think he has got to the point where he can see im not in this relationship anymore. Im distant we bicker. He makes me feel lioe shit all the time now almost every day. Even this morning we all sleep in until 10 then he starts moaning at me he didn't get a lay in, as he proceeded to tell me how much sleep he doesn't get Oh please. I live here too!!

When he starts with his crap a nice PA response would be 'Yes dear'
Every time 'Yes dear'
Don't rise to it.

Yes. That really rattles his cage at such responses, im just going to smile through gritted teeth and enjoy my daughters birthday and Christmas. Surely he must think 'I sound like a complete arsehole' Well either way its almost Christmas and im going to open my bottle of whiskey and have a night cap or 3/4/5