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Original poster

To think I should be allowed

191 replies

FuckDaddyPig · 15/12/2016 11:26

To buy my daughter a couple of Christmas presents! OH is mad at me for not Christmas shopping with him. I was just in tesco on my way home from school run and saw a great deal on a couple of dolls. We had already discussed we would get these, so I just grabbed them whilst I was there and the account was full! Now im in the wrong and im getting told off for buying them.(without him)
AIBU to think im a grown woman with 3 kids I should be allowed to buy presents!
He said no other woman would do this without discussing it with their husbands first? I saw a few mummies grabbing some bargains!

OP posts:
MiddleClassProblem · 15/12/2016 11:45

I don't understand half of this.

What account was full?
He only works a few hours? Surely he's around
It's your job to shop? Is this you or him?

I could "understand" his reaction if it was actually about him feeling like he's not much a part of their lives due to work. Obviously a childish outburst but based on feeling left out not actually a lot the presents as they had been discussed.
But with working hours I'm completely confused and there is a lot more to this whether it's controlling or not

Love51 · 15/12/2016 11:46

I might run the big pressies by him, in a 'do you think ds could manage this toy, or should we wait til he's older' conversational way. We don't Xmas shop together (except online) as we have kids! We've both come home with bits we have seen that the kids would like, It's normal isn't it? Then you have reconciliation evening when you realise one child doesn't have a main present, and order from Amazon. I though normal was either our way, or the 'mum does it all' way (no judgement, families operate differently).

GeekyWombat · 15/12/2016 11:47

He said no other woman would do this without discussing it with their husbands first

Ha! In order to minimise the impact on our budget I have usually been picking up Christmas shopping bits for three months before he even really starts mentioning things. We have a vague discussion about things to get but mostly I buy it all, scope out the cheapest deals, Quidco etc. He only has to organise buying gifts for me and his brother and nan (I leave those two because they're tough to buy for!)

rightsofwomen · 15/12/2016 11:48

"it wasnt big presents they were bikes. "

Bikes are a big present IMO and actually one of the things I would think a joint decision would be made on.

Idiotxit · 15/12/2016 11:51

He said no other woman would do this without discussing it with their husbands first

He's batshit.

dementedpixie · 15/12/2016 11:51

I think the dh bought the bikes and OP bought dolls

Love51 · 15/12/2016 11:52

Rights she just forgot the punctuation. It wasn't big presents - they were bikes
The thing she bought was dolls.

Sorry my response took ages to type and the thread had moved on.

Love51 · 15/12/2016 11:54

What's he normally like, OP? Because the 'no other woman' thing seems odd. Irrelevant.

Original poster
FuckDaddyPig · 15/12/2016 11:54

My account was full- basically I got paid.

He works 2-4 hours a day cleaning windows with his friend but only 2-3 days a week. He earns £20 a day and I dont see that.- which doesn't bother me.

Im always the one around to do it- im up at 5.30 everyday to get all 3 kids ready and to school, nursery etc- he stays in bed so im always around, to shop on the way back from school ill pop into town or tesco! He'll either be at home or work that morning

OP posts:
mummydawn07 · 15/12/2016 11:56

wow a man who wants to go shopping with you, i'd say you lucky woman but by the sounds of it he is just a nightmare.. I would love to have my OH do Christmas shopping with me but he hates it, doesn't even like Christmas that much and I have to beg him to do shopping with me until he reluctantly agrees to do so lol, I wouldn't mind doing it on my own or with a friend but I need his manly strength to help with the bags Grin

Original poster
FuckDaddyPig · 15/12/2016 11:56

Yes. Sorry big presents got discussed and bought weeks ago. Im talking about little presents now like dolls etc. They were on sale!

OP posts:
GoofyTheHero · 15/12/2016 11:57

I've done all our Christmas shopping, DH hasn't even seen the presents yet. I'm a SAHM, he's away most of the week with work so I have more time and opportunity to do it.

Original poster
FuckDaddyPig · 15/12/2016 11:57

I told him I saw plenty of mummies in there picking up presents/toys. He said thats just not possible basically, they would have already discussed it or gone back to their husbands to ask. He is a weird one I must say!

OP posts:
MiddleClassProblem · 15/12/2016 11:58

So he does nothing most of the day....

blueskyinmarch · 15/12/2016 11:58

When my DD’s were small i rather suspect my DH was as surprised by the gifts we gave them for birthdays/Christmas as they were! It isn’t that he wasn’t bothered, he just knows i liked buying them gifts and i always knew exactly what the wanted or needed.

OP your DH is being controlling and rather weird.

WatchingFromTheWings · 15/12/2016 11:58

Christmas presents for my kids are usually as much a surprise for my DP as the kids. Same for my ExH when I was married. Big/main presents were discussed in advance but 90% of the rest was picked up as and when I saw it or had money. And quite often I'm the one picking up the main presents as I have more free time to do it.

NataliaOsipova · 15/12/2016 11:59

He said no other woman would do this without discussing it with their husbands first?

I very rarely discuss any sort of shopping for our children with my husband, Christmas or otherwise! I'd possibly ask him for his opinion on a "big" item (eg which bike do you think?) but a couple of dolls? No way.

RainbowJack · 15/12/2016 11:59

He himself bought a present last week

Did you point out his hypocrisy?

Im just a bitch for saying that.

YABU to allow yourself to be disrespected like this.

Tell the controlling twunt to fuck off.

Idiotxit · 15/12/2016 11:59

He said thats just not possible basically, they would have already discussed it or gone back to their husbands to ask

Or gone back to 1880 when that actually probably happened.

GoofyTheHero · 15/12/2016 11:59

I don't 'ask' my husband about any money I spend. Joint account.

maggiethemagpie · 15/12/2016 12:01

Is he a bit of a control freak, OP? Sounds like it.

Original poster
FuckDaddyPig · 15/12/2016 12:01

That is what is funny. I have done most of the shopping online or either had to pick it up and he was right there when I showed him the baskets before purchasing. He's known everything im getting or got. Its just the fact he wanted to come with me. I dont mind its the way he threw a tantrum about it. Again! Makes me feel like I should have come back and asked for permission to physically buy it!

OP posts:
WhoKnowsWhereTheT1meG0es · 15/12/2016 12:02

That really isn't normal. DH would think I had completely lost my marbles if I didn't grab a bargain while I could and instead wait till he was able to come with me.

WhereYouLeftIt · 15/12/2016 12:03

So - he doesn't contribute financially.
He doesn't contribute emotionally.
He doesn't contribute practically.

Why are you with him? Serious question.

Ohdearducks · 15/12/2016 12:04

No he's not weird, he's trying to control you by acting like he's the authority because he has a dick and you should bow down to the almighty man of the house. Fuck that noise.