Ex has done it again - 3rd time

[Pisssssedofff]

Basically if the kids and I or he and I have a falling out. Ex basically spends an entire week/weekend/day telling them how awful I am, how right they are and how they'd be better off living with him. And then they say great can we ? And he says no back you go to live with pissed. DD3 ended up in hospital last time tranquilised.
So I've said no this time, no more fucking with their heads. You've said they ought to be living with you then you bloody well keep them.
It's all going to hit the fan I pressume when they go to school on Monday. 4 years this has been going on I've no more fight left in me I just want him to keep them.

Every time I read your threads I am quite shocked.

I think really what you need is perspective and anger management. It is clear that your underlying feelings are resentment of your ex and resentment of your kids and a sense that you are hard done by and therefore deserve to opt out.

You and your ex together are going to mess these children up irretrievably if you don't sort something out for yourself and TBH it sounds like the people you have gone to for support you have been angry and resentful of too because you have a very specific idea of what support you think you need and won't accept anything else.

You need to stop ranting and start listening. To your DC and to the GP and SW etc.

Try to love your kids MORE than you hate your ex.
Put your energy into them not trying to get one up on him.

Basically I have been handed these kids and left to it! NO YOU CHOOSE TO HAVE THEM! Why is it up to everyone else to step in and look after them/ help?

I'm a single parent of 4, my dd's were 1,3 &5 when me and exh split they didn't even see there dad for nearly 3 years and now he only see them one day a week on his terms and doesn't support in anyway they are now 9,11,13

And as for my 2 year old her dad walked away when I got pregnant and I made the decision to keep her!

Your poor poor children, you and your ex are as bad as each other, in fact you sound like your creating most the problems and as for forcing your 14 year old to stay to look after the younger one is just totally wrong.... she is a child it isn't her responsibility or job!

You clearly don't want to be a mother

TBH it doesn't matter whether you want to be a mother or not TBH. You ARE a mother and your options are therefore limited to trying to being a good mother or a shit one.

I am a single parent with four kids too. One has SEN. Two are twins. I never chose to be a mother, my first two were in a badly sexually abusive relationship, my third pg was twins. I cried in bed for two weeks when we found out it was twins.

You can't always choose what life deals you but you can have some impact on how you deal with it.

Anyfucker hit the nail on the head. Your next statement reinforces what I think. It's like your almost gagging to inflict more drama by the ' we are moving back into the house'. This for teens will be hard and you have one doing gcse's. Why can't it wait? Why the one upmanship? Own your role as their mum and fulfill it a relaxed way without lurching from one crisis to another. Think how they will feel....
I feel like I am watching you playing a really shit game of chess and your children are the bloody pawns.
Your obviously not an unintelligent lady..... why not say enough.?

What's the expression, I can't remember properly so I'll just paraphrase: it's like slapping yourself (and your children) in the face and expecting your ex to be hurt. The way you are behaving is pointless and a waste of your precious time and making your life and your kids' lives harder.

Confucious ::: Before you embark on a journey of revenge, first dig two graves

I agree with Anyfucker. You're just not interested in being a mum because you seem so consumed by your hatred for your ex.

Basically I have been handed these kids and left to it! Wow, just wow. This is the most awful thing I have seen on here. They're YOUR children and if you cant handle them, YOU need to stop blaming everyone else and ask SS for support.

Except you wont. Because its not your fault is it? You;re still on here, arguing the toss.

for your kids, I hope they find someone who wants them.

OP you're coming across as being completely at rock bottom, as if you've been pushed to this point over a long period of time and you've finally snapped 😞 It also comes across that your children have been groomed into alienation throughout, and that has to be the most hurtful experience. It seems that you've lost your resilience and that was the last stage needed in your children's alienation. This is exactly what my XP did to his XW, and it's a ruthless and brutal thing to do to your children and their other parent.
I really really want you to find your resilience again, that epic strength your children need you to have, and if there's anything I can do to help you find it, please pm me. At the very least I can listen, understand and give you all the encouragement possible x

Yes AnyFucker! Or in this case, 6 graves 😔

Op I've followed all of your posts and hate to say it but you seem to put your feelings way before your children's. Hopefully you can sort things out before something irreversible happens.

I don't understand how, if your ex is as abusive as you say, and your daughter needed to be sedated after spending a week with him, you want him to take the children now.

why would you want that for them?