Ex has called the police on me!

[Notmyweek]

So I've just received a letter from the police stating that my ex has called them due to me harassing him!

They've said they aren't going to arrest me but want to see me to get my side of the story!

Is he fucking serious??!! Only last week I had to call them because of his abuse and weirdness and now he's called them!

Yes I've contacted him since but only regarding our child.....wtaf??

His sister has even been in contact with me! Yet I'm now being told I'm harassing him??

I'm pregnant! I don't need all this stress, how can he do this?? I genuinely believed he loved me once, obviously I was wrong...who calls the police on their pregnant ex??

I was stupid in my decision, I was willing to be the SAHM whilst he continued with his college course and gained a better job from being fully qualified. Obviously it would have benefitted us both in terms of money however he would have been the one who had the experience, the qualifications whilst yes I would have been the one bringing the children up and getting to be there for everything but if we had split up years later I'd have been stuffed! No recent experience, no career, no qualifications and no money!

I guess it's a good thing he left now as I now plan to go to college whilst on maternity to gain a qualification for when I'm ready to go back to work so I can get a better chance at earning more money, I want to teach my son what my dad taught me, work hard!

Sorry for derail, but re breastfeeding.

Breastfeeding is, in my opinion, the absolute best first choice if possible. I planned everything around breast feeding. However I wasn't physically able to breast feed and I was thrown in the deep end trying to work out how to formula feed. I didn't know what we needed and stuff was bought randomly from Boots (and thankfully worked!) Fingers crossed it works for you, but do be aware of what other stuff may be needed.

I hope you won't need that advice. hugs

I hope I don't have any issues regarding breastfeeding.

I've bought a bottle set just in case & will be buying a tin of formula. I will only express for when he is being cared for by others.

Hi Notmyweek.

My sister has BPD and reading this thread it struck me so clearly, it could have been written by her (not the circumstances but the way you see and express things). It's not a criticism by the way but I do think it would be a very good idea to explore this because you do obviously need support and it needs to be the right support.

I'm glad it sounds like you're feeling much more positive now about things, good luck with everything .

Hi Magic,

I too believed I had it, I was absolutely certain I had it!

However I've spoken to a psychologist & she doesn't feel it's BPD, I was however referred for an assessment for Aspergers as she feels I fit the bill for that better

However, I personally think that I fit the bill for BPD more than Aspergers.

I've just read the list of symptoms & have said yes to all but 1!

Whenever I see a doctor, I get "and why would you think you have that"

I explain & then get the shite about depression.

Can I just let you know you will get 70% of childcare fees paid if you return to work and are on child tax credits..

I do wonder if you say you are a social person if even working part time would help you get out the house..

I was a lp from when my DS was 10 months old and it can be really lonley...If you have no family support near by you could end up very isolated.

I might glad to hear that you are going to be getting some qualifications , that's a great idea. As a single parent the best thing you can do for your family's future is get a decent job .i know you will need childcare but most parents do.

Have you checked out nurseries and child minders ? Who is looking after baby when you are at college ?

Have you got a place and funding for your course ?

Il be going to college once a week as it'll be a part time course, I'd prefer a full time however, my mum can only babysit one day a week as a regular set up.

If things didn't end so badly with ex & his family didn't pass judgment & treat me like a child, I know the exes mother would have happily babysat once a week too....however I can't imagine il be speaking to them when the baby comes & the ex won't be much help! I can't see him jumping up to have his son on an evening.

Of course whatever i do, whether that's work or college or! Both, il work it around my baby.

I have my family very close by, friends live a bit further but I drive so visiting isn't impossible.

Please don't make you career plans based on him or his family providing childcare . They will let you down and you could end up losing your job.

Use family that you know are reliable or pay for childcare . As a PP said, you will get most of it paid for.

The best way to make a stable home and future for your baby is to get qualifications and a good job . Then you can have a decent place to stay. You are young and what happens in your job in the next 10 -15 years will have a huge impact on you for the rest of your life .

Don't waste your time waiting for ex to support his kid or some other man to come along and rescue you. You thought that before and look how just ended up. You are about to me a mum and you need to be hard headed and clear minded.

I'm not speaking with my ex or anyone associated with him, his family wanted to stay in contact and meet every fortnight for a coffee to find out how things are going. Due to the situation with my ex, I am not comfortable with that right now, I don't want to see his family or him for that matter (sound cruel but it's far too soon).

I will only rely on my family as I know they are reliable and wouldn't let me down.

Il use my maternity leave to do a college course and then apply for a new job when I'm due to go back to work, one that is closer and more money!

Even though I'm going to be a mum, I still want a career.

You seem driven and focused now despite your earlier wobbles.
You will be a fantastic mum.

Don't be afraid to let us know if things are shite at any time. Nothing is plain sailing unfortunately as we all know.

Delighted to see you in such good form.

Feeling much better lately, starting to get over things that have happened.

I seem to however started torturing myself at the minute, stupidly keep picturing him with another woman (sexually)....is this normal??! I can't cope with it

Reality is he's probably having a wank most of the time unless he has found some gombeen in record time.

You on the other hand have a beautiful baby to look forward to.

I wish I could believe he's probably sat chilling having a wank however the way he walked out of my life, I know it's because of another woman.
So many times he's done this yet within 2 days he's come running back because he misses me and can't live his life without me. Yet this time he walked and hasn't looked back, hasn't contacted me to check everything is okay with the baby (he did this everyday probably twice a day), how can you completely write someone out of your life if there isn't anyone else who's got your attention??

Whatever, literally WHATEVER!

Honestly, I've read enough threads on this thing to know there are people like you on here, don't write like I can't handle the crap you spout.

As the copper said, contacting him about the baby doesn't actually constitute as harassment so please PIPE DOWN, go & take a very cold shower & cool down!

Furthermore, you can judge me all you damn well like....I couldn't care less for your judgment....simply don't have anything else to do but chuck some shit out there to get a moe quiet thread back up with comments...as said to a PP, lucky you don't know me then!!

how can you completely write someone out of your life if there isn't anyone else who's got your attention??

I don't see the contradiction here. I dumped my ex's because they were driving me nuts. I didn't have replacements lined up.

Oh funny you should so lovingly say that! Actually quite hilarious! people LIKE YOU! Are the treason DV isn't taken seriously....so please move along & find another thread to moan at! Cheerio

Evening all,
Notmyweek, you won't be hearing from that poster again, apologies. We're glad this thread seems to be taking a turn for the better and you're feeling a bit more able to accept some support from the magnificent MN Massive.
All the very best to you and the baby, keep safe.

Thank you!
Seeing as this thread has nearly 300 comments, I didn't think it necessary to start it up again and get to another 300!

I've listened to a lot of what people have said on here and will be taking it on board....first stop app with support worker tomorrow!

Oh that's great. Support worker should be able to offer advice on how to handle situation with stbx and maintenance etc.
Your health will be their priority though so you have another support blanket!
Hope it goes well.

We were meant to be meeting today, she said she'd call me back to give me a time to meet however I didn't receive that bloody call!

I see my midwife next month too so will update on situation with her