DH smacked DD and has left

[Crumb502]

Family life has been tough for the last few months and it has all come to a head tonight...

To cut a long story short, DH has been depressed/stressed for some time and has been very moody with me and the children. We are all walking on eggshells around him and each other - he is unable to cope with conflict in any way.

DD (6) has always been 'spirited' but recently she has been having huge tantrums which, if he is around, he needs to leave the house for as he can't cope.

DS (10) has also had a behaviour change recently and has become aggressive / shouty with me and his DS.

Tonight DD started with a tantrum which, despite me trying to resolve, ended up with DH demanding I leave him to 'sort it out'. Minutes later I hear him smack her (door was closed and I heard the crack), so I ran upstairs and shouted at him "what are you doing"? She was screaming and then DS came in, shouted at his Dad and then shoved him, shouting "Don't hit my sister".

DH looked shocked, took his wedding ring off, said "that's it" and has left.

I don't know what to do, children are still very upset saying they have lost their Daddy and I'm trying to hold everyone together...

I'm lost.... what should I do??

Thank god he has left. I'm sorry, but he attacked a small girl and patently cannot control himself. Let him go. There is no excuse for hitting someone like that.

Your poor children and you 😞

If he'd walloped a police officer like that, do you think he'd avoid court, those of you who minimise?? Come on.

Is he blaming it on the depression?

I have a shitload of mental health problems (think hospitalisation) and I have never laid a finger on my children.

We don't know if he's blaming it on the depression. He's blaming it on the OP, it seems. He is angry and has shown no remorse. It's posters on this thread, unfortunately, who are blaming it on depression. Citing depression as an excuse for his violence. Exactly, pugsake, exactly what you said.

Hey OP, you ok?

It's very very difficult to understand mental illnesses, very difficult.

And yes, if a parent is suffering then there is inevitably fall out that affects the family.

This man has depression and that in itself isnt a simple illness of just feeling sad all the time, it can be quite a board definition. It may well be there are other issues, they even might not have been diagnosed as such.

From what Crumb502 has said it may be possible for him to get something like residential accommodation while this is being treated at least that will take some of the pressures away from all concerned. It hopefully may make him better so that he can cope, if not it may make it so that he can cope whilst being away from the family but at least being in contact with his children when he is better.

That would be vastly better than having him sleeping in a car that's not improving anything much and I suspect that this is going to make it worse not better.

As sad as this incident is it may well be the catalyst for change. I think 502 that you must be very insistent that he seeks further help even speak to his GP or social services.

Then if it becomes apparent that no improvement is possible then you must go your separate ways.

I do hope your ok op I read my last post back and I didn't sound very sensitive.

It's a sore point with me. My mental health problems in the past has led too unfair judgement about my parenting.

Just because your DH is depressed it does not give him the right too take it out on you and your children. You don't deserve that

I read a lot about posters on here who's parents mental health problems have affected them. I don't want to be that parent. I doubt your husband does either