Splitting up the kids ?

[Pisssssedofff]

Basically DS and DD3 are really close.
DD2 is no trouble at all and DD1 just needs peace and quiet and she's fine too.
I am seriously considering buying a flat for DD1 16 now and DD2 when she's 16 and parking them in it.

Their dad is fucking hopeless.

We are all going around the twist with the fighting, lack of space, lack of privacy etc.

I just hate the idea of splitting them up but it's going to happen eventually right ?

Obviously

So been to view the house today, the garage is no good but it could be knocked down or something but to be deadly honest the idea is to buy them all a house so if the eldest 2 lived in this one got 4 years I could pay off enough to buy DD2 a house then use that to buy Dd3 and so on. It works well but I need to get cracking and she would literally be 6 mins down the road but can get herself to school in the mornings etc, it does all work

How can you afford to buy 4 houses when you say you can't afford 1 4 bed as only £30k savings until you retire?

You sound utterly fucking deluded. These are your children and you need to sort them out not negate responsibility.
You will buy them all houses. That will put a cork in your daughters petulant behaviour there are so many things wrong with your posts I don't know where to start....

She will be at home a maximum 18 months/ two years before uni? And you want to put her and her younger sister elsewhere....

I do know what it's like. My son was awful (look at my posting history) and when he returned from two years in a psych hospital from 14 I got a much bigger house (rented). Yes it's a kick that the money is just 'wasted' but is it? We all get the space we need to cooperate together as a family. It removes aggression and volatile behaviour and works well. At the moment I work to pay the rent but I wouldn't have him anywhere else....

I also think the 'poor me' attitude about taking her to volunteer is awful. You can't drink? Diddums. Perhaps you too are more alike than you would like to admit!

The more you write, the more I think a large part of her aggressive, nasty behaviour is directly copied from you and also a defense mechanism on her part. You are not being a proper parent to her and you're looking for ulterior motives for everything she does and attributing her behaviour to an exact copy of your father's. Look at what kind of mother she has and what she's already had to go through in her life and I can understand why she's behaving the way she is. Poor kid :(

I don't need to sort them out, they gave their own minds. My kids know how to behave they've been taught right from wrong, are doing well at school and aren't in any other kind of trouble. The fact that the eldest is only doing what she's doing at home shows she is under pressure and stress caused by her environment. Sort the environment and she'll be fine and if she's not its up to her to seek help, you can lead a horse to water and she's been lead before, what she then decides she needs to do is entirely up to her.
Your children are actually for you give wings and set them off on their chosen paths not keep at your house because you don't trust them in the world, that does them no good either.

My kid hasn't been in a pschy unit, so you can't apply your circumstances to mine.

She has the best mother I can be and that's that, I'm doing what I can do

Im going to pour the pertol over myself whilst handing you all the matches...

Methinks you and the fathers poor parenting has created the 16 year old nightmare? Clealy said child does not respect authority and they are approaching adulthood... Sounds like a recipe for adult disaster hood.

I suggest you do not buy a property for your problem child. Instead please take them on holiday to a country that allows very tough love; Albania, Jamaica, nigeria, mexico.

You can still turn this around.

Child does respect authority, she doesn't respect me. Different kettle of fish

Example, the thought of being late for school would literally reduce her to tears, just got her school report, predicted grades all A*, 2 B's she's doing brilliantly. If she just hates me I'm ok with that actually. I know I've done all I can, I've never walked out on her. If being in my house is so stressful for her that she lashes out on her siblings then she needs something else. And that's the option available to her, I have other plans which she knows about, they don't suit her and that's fine, but they are going to happen and she can rejoin the family at any time, I suspect though she won't

I think everyone should stop advising the OP. These posts smack of someone who isn't listening to the (vast) majority of people who can't agree with her that this either her only option or a good idea. She clearly has a deep-rooted dislike of her daughter, who sounds difficult but not outside the realms of being a normal teenager, and I doubt any amount of reasoning is going to work here.

Trifleorbust I love my daughter more than life itself, I dislike the behave immensely but if I didn't like her she wouldn't still be in my home after she walked out of it would she 😐

This what makes me frustrated, we'll laugh really, the younger ones and ex DH regularly go off one about how she's the bloody favourite child

Sorry, OP, I have read your other posts (as recent as June) where you make the same suggestion about making her move out (as soon as she turned 16?) and you say there that there is no love there. You are incredibly critical of her and you project all sorts of motivation and deliberation onto the most innocuous actions on her part (volunteering is spoken about as if she wants to spend Christmas Day snorting meth on a park bench). As I've said before, I think you are the major part of the issue here and you need to seek counselling.

I do not need to seeking counselling I need to straighten out things in my home frankly and that is happening as soon as it's possible.
My children have had an excellent childhood until the wheels fell off and I'm picking up the pieces the best I can. No doubt my medal is in the post.

If I were you I would seek professional help.

My own mum had relations with her older teenagers that sound very similar to this situation: lots of resentment, lots of over the top reactions to minor things, a hair trigger 'get out of my house' response when someone left the straighteners on or whatever. I left home at 17. I paid my own way. I don't resent her because I know she needed help (big family, alcohol issues, lots of stress). What she needed was medication and behaviour therapy, not to alienate her kids, which to extent was what she did.

Trifle I might agree with you if I had issues with the other kids, my siblings etc. But I don't. Just this one. It's fine if she's different. I know nothing about her father other than he's a very driven successful business man, which I've no doubt she will be too. If we just clash then it's ok to say I love you but we can't live together.

For the record I have NEVER told her to get out of my house. My dad has to me so not once have those words left my lips

You're about to say precisely that.

I'm sorry but that's rubbish. Again makes me laugh out loud on this forum, at the same time your 16 year olds sex life, school choices etc are none of your business but you must treat them like a child until they make the decision to leave no matter how badly they behave and are told to get counselling ... What a joke

You need help. Get some, for your own sake and that of your kids.

Hilarious

How could she afford her gas, electricity, water, council tax, insurance, food? None of that will come cheap!