Going on a Bear Hunt - we're going to get through it!

[madamehooch]

As a previous poster on a wonderful thread which has been a real lifeline but which has now ended, this is a new thread for anyone who has been subject to the misery of having an extremely long term relationship (20 plus years ) end. It's a place to find support and congratulations for whatever tiny steps are made and a big non-judgmental hand hold to help us over the inevitable bumps. There will be little LTB on this thread as usually he's already left us (smiling through the pain is always encouraged )😀

Hello all,

Happy new year. Let's hope this one is more positive for us all.

Kirk - I admire you. You always seem so strong. I do agree that bottling your feelings up is not good for you. This is something I did and in the end, I was actually worse than before. I hope your DS finds the counselling useful (I did). I'm sure with you behind him, he will be just fine.

Hi Tapir, sorry to hear you've had a bad few days, I hope my last post didn't come across as flippant, it certainly wasn't intended to be. I am just as likely to have days where I can't stop crying or come to terms with what has happened as I am to be upbeat. Just coincided with the New Year that I was on an upwards curve. Just take it a day at a time, don't be thinking about multiple house moves and settlements all at once - easier said than done I know - but NO-ONE could cope with such huge changes all at once, break it down into smaller bits if you can.

The thing is we know that we will get through this - it's just the doing so that is so bloody hard. Faff is right, it is what it is, unfortunately.

Kirk - hoping your son finds some comfort with his counselling.

My DS is going through an angry phase and refused to go ice skating with his Dad and my DD today, fair enough in my opinion, he had already got plans with his friends. My STBXH sent him a text saying he was disappointed in him and he was selfish, and because of him (DS) none of them were going.

Further proof to me (if proof were needed) just what a emotionally retarded twat my ex really is.

Don't worry Forme2016 it didn't. I guess we're all likely to be up and down. I just find the down days frustrating when I thought that I was making progress. I am not a patient person and tend to rush through things so I am finding hard to take things a step at a time.

I have received a date for my decree nisi to be pronounced so I could, in theory, be divorced by the end of March which is both good and very sad.

I hope everyone is ok. It must be so hard for those of you with both children and a twat of an ex. I was having a stress the other morning about having to look after my guinea pigs for the rest of their lives! It's a good job that I don't have children.

Happy new year to you all, read through, things will improve for us all.

Karma does exist, we do the best we can for our nearest and dearest.

My motto for this year is "do unto unto others......" It doesn't matter what has happened, moving forwards will determine who I (we) am / are.

My priority remains my children, it seems I only exist. No more. In the words of Gloria Gaynor..... Etc,

2017, a new start. So, first things first, independence, financial autonomy. Whatever shit is thrown, I will survive! But in addition each time I will grow stronger.

I thought 18 months ago nothing could get worse, it has, but I have got through. And more to the point my children are actually thriving.

There will be more shit on the horizon, but actually, I feel more in control now. It doesn't matter, I am a decent person, things are stable financially, and I am starting to see a future.

We all learn from our experiences, I doubt I will ever trust anyone like that again, but if I really think about it, am i the loser?

I have nothing to regret, nothing I could really change, I have not made this life choice, but I am making the best of it, for myself and my children.

I had Christmas presents from his family, Christmas cards from his wider family.

Happy new year.

Bubble bath you are one strong 💪 lady , well said ❤️

How is everyone? Hope you are all well.

Getting through early Jan WTAFF , son went back to uni Saturday so breathing again as he seemed better , I have my bed back after 2 weeks sleeping with me as so sad 😢 , the bear hunt continues I have made a pact today no contact to him as worming his way back after new grandchild with texts , still a twat 😂Texting usual crap you are my one true love , yes as if after the way you have treated me and the kids and you can't leave tart unless you can come back to me ! Dream on boy !

Hello all!

I've been reluctant to post anything recently after the DM nicking stories from here and the reminder that this isn't a safe place. Although I do know that, when feeling desparate and lonely it seems like it is.
Not sure whether I will stick around or try and find another smaller site