He's left hand holding needeed

[Alfiemoon1]

Ok so I posted before the thread about making a tit out of myself. Things have continued I get stressed and have a go every time she texts and start the whole argument over again he got naffed off last night and left. He's not come back yet. I am probably being paranoid I just can't help going into a rage every time she texts help. I have recently gone on the mini pill can that screw your head up I have never been a jealous person

So the texts weren't really flirty and v isn't interested (summarising what you said) so the problems lay with your DH and him making the friendship out to be more than it is? I think you should be feeling sorry for him, he is making himself look like a right prat and pulling you to pieces in the meantime.

Is it time to just ignore him focus on you and your dd? Stick your nose in the air and let him stew. If YOU decide you want to try work it out when things are calmer then fine but it sounds like he wanted it to escalate into an affair so ask yourself whether you can live with that. Big hug xxx

She probably isn't but she still probably got some enjoyment out of the power she possesses! If she wasn't stiring then why would she not respond to your text, why show it to your DH?

Try and stay strong. I think your DH had his head turned, no idea if anything happened. How will you be sure if he comes home that it's not just because she isn't interested?

He takes no responsibility for his part in all this, would you want to welcome him back?

Yes I found them flirty and to frequent for my liking she has told me nothing is going on. I don't know i am so confused. Adding all the little bits up got me paranoid he contributed to that so when ever she text and it continued passed a few i flew into a rage. I asked him to tone it down he refused to the point of leaving. Maybe he was flattered by her attention maybe secretly he wishes it was more I don't know

Yes things like he really didn't want me to text her about the arrangement then the fact she didn't reply then he was annoyed at me for texting her despite seeing it was polite and dd wishes. Saying she thinks I hate her she's offended she thinks i am a right bitch none of which were in their texts and they didn't speak on the phone. If I have already admitted to feeling pushed out and feeling insecure from things previously why would he make things worse

If she was completely innocent in all this AS SOON as there was an issue she would have switched to only texting you/dd and only about the horse. At best she was flattered and encouraged the attentions of a man she KNEW was married. If he were totally innocent he may have been a little put out but ultimately sought to reassure you, not flounced like a teenager. And still sulking!

I'm sorry, this is going to hurt. I think you need to consider that he left hoping that by being 'free' he would start something up with her, assuming nothing has been going on.

I think she has only just realised there was an issue and I didn't mention it to her I was feeling uncomfortable with what I classed as flirty texts I did mention it to him and instead of reassuring me and agreeing to tone it down be more transparent and less secretive because of how I was feeling it turned into arguments in which we have both probably said things we didn't mean. Like he was flattered I think he could get her coz she's well fit gggrrr.

That thought is in the back of my mind dobby

He says he left as he was sick of the arguments nothing he could say about it was right well making up stuff to antagonise me wasn't going to help really was it to give us some space etc. Maybe it's just my pride but I feel he's left me for her even though there is no him and her apart from stupid text messages

He's sulking like a fucking child !
You've taken away his toy you mean bitch, that was the only fun thing in his life and you've ruined it now. You must be punished.

I'd fucking change the locks whilst he's at his mothers and put his shit in bin bags on the doorstep - everyone will tell you not to - I wish I had it was my only regret.

I did what pissseedofff said - no regrets. But everyone is different.

His stuff was bagged up the day after he didn't come home sent dd with the last few bits yesterday when he picked her up to go to the yard I have now found his dressing gown he can have that when he sees the kids next

Good stuff .... The only way is up my lovely

Saying he has left because of the arguments is him just putting the blame on you. He could have prevented the arguments by respecting you.

It sounds like he was trying to leave 'guilt free' - all your fault right?

You don't need someone like that.

Good point dobby I hadn't thought of that

This is the man who has started shaving his pubic hair and wearing new clothes and moisturiser. I commented on your previous thread that if he hasn't yet done anything he is planning on doing something.

'You are naughty' is not something that a married man with two children says to a single woman. As I advised you before get advice on where you and the DC stand financially in the event of a split and send the information to him. That should cool his ardour.

You are not paranoid, his behaviour is completely unacceptable and you are being treated like an idiot. He is even dragging your DD into his bullshit.

Don't refer to his behaviour as a mid life crisis, he is trying to get into another woman's pants. I feel for you but you need to get in control of this situation and sitting at home undressed and anxious is not the way.

Put your make up on, look great and walk around like you own the fucking show. Go up to that stable and tell that woman that you know exactly what is going on and tell her she is welcome to him.

Just saw your update. That's more like it!

Still no contact from him so I have text asking what nights off he has this week and if he is having the kids at his mums etc no reply but he may be in bed now as was working last night

He left because of the arguments ...that you had because he wouldn't stop texting a woman flirty stuff, receiving photos of her dolled up and calling her "naughty", pausing foreplay to answer her text messages, texting at night, texting for 20 minutes at a time "about the horse" when a yes or no would have dealt with it. Plus it was all so innocent that he started shaving his pubes for the first time in 20 years?

You're fucking kidding yourself if you think any of that was innocent. He's an idiot, trying to blame you for his complete selfishness and stupidity. "I left because of the arguments" translation "If you'd silently sat by while I continued to blatantly pursue an affair, I wouldn't have left yet although I may have got a shag from v so it's all your fault". What a total cock. I hope you've kicked him out for good OP.

Ds has just said he wants his dad to come home eeek

He is bound to say and feel that. It's only natural. How old is DS?

In the end you are the one who is married to him, he will always be DS's Dad, nothing will change that.

Ds is 11 and hasn't been involved like dd she has chosen to be messenger between us in her attempt to sort things out. We have both told her it is between us. Ds is quite chilled out and copes well with things.

Got to go to yard soon hope nobody knows what's going on i am still so confused if it's me being paranoid or not

This thread hasn't helped at all then ?

Bloody hell ... Head hits desk