He's left hand holding needeed

[Alfiemoon1]

Ok so I posted before the thread about making a tit out of myself. Things have continued I get stressed and have a go every time she texts and start the whole argument over again he got naffed off last night and left. He's not come back yet. I am probably being paranoid I just can't help going into a rage every time she texts help. I have recently gone on the mini pill can that screw your head up I have never been a jealous person

he just thinks I am barking mad and trying to stop him having friends
Oh poor sausage, no way could it be his fault, poor choices made because of his ego or his drinking. (Which he doesn't seem to consider a problem. Obviously alcohol is not an illegal drug he won’t be sent to prison for being a user or a dealer, but it can't aid clear thinking). Much easier to cast you in the role of spoilsport.

Just can't seem to function today the kids are out and I am just sat here staring into space not even got the TV on. I've not put my make up on nothing. I feel lousy think I am getting a cold and feel worn out

He is helping ds with his art homework this afternoon he's not coming here to do it he's asked me to send him to his mums

Feel really hurt he hasn't even contacted me I haven't contacted him as I feel every thing goes back to v. He's carrying on as normal and I am in bits today

His emotions and caring are more wrapped up in himself and v right now than himself and you.

As such what is happening doesn't hurt him as much as you who cares more for him than he does you.

Hope that makes sense.

He doesn't give a tiny shit about you, love

He is just holding fire until you stfu moaning about his girlfriend then it will be business as usual for him

Yes it does make sense. I am tempted to text him some of these replies to show I am not the only one who thinks his behaviour is wrong but what's the point I don't even know if I want him back

Sorry but having read all you've said on this situation I don't even believe it's not physical. Assuming you're in the UK I really don't see him sleeping in the car on a freezing November night. In addition it's all extremely similar to what my ex did (including the gaslighting). Took him YEARS to admit he was unfaithful - I'm talking years AFTER we split. So sorry but I'd advise getting all legals/financials in order then get rid. He CERTAINLY shouldn't be dragging your daughter into taking sides!!

Don't show him any part of this thread. He will just call us uptight Internet bitches or similar anyway and you will lose your source of unbiased support

Yes I am in the U.K. He works permanent nights so is used to being out in the cold

Working in the cold and sleeping in it totally different. Sorry, still not buying he slept in car.

Think he has a night heater at work to keep him warm he's a lorry driver so you are probably right

I haven't told anyone in rl yet I am embarrassed and ashamed people will start wondering why his car is at his mums what do I say. I haven't been to the yard since as he has been off work I have to go tomorrow I have no idea if people know or not

Just spoke to dd who has told me she spoke to v the yesterday who said she hopes we work it out and she will text dd about the horse arrangements from now on

Sorry OP. Sounds like a typical midlife crisis to me. A former close friend of mine did something very similar to what you describe. Stable hand 'helping out', bit younger, friendly with DD, playing innocent BUT.............loving the attention from an older man with some 'disposable' family income, nice car etc led to flat & her moving in.

He has no disposable income and drives a banger lol but yes I think he is having a midlife crisis and flattered by her attention except when I said I was uncomfortable with it he should have stopped. Now he is sleeping in his mums spare room I am not speaking to him and she isn't texting him anymore

Sadly dd thinks now all is resolved as they won't be texting each other however that isn't the case as it wasn't him who has cut off contact nor has he been able to understand how or why I have been feeling like I was

She has said she will text your DD about the horse now.

Pictures of her in fancy dress on nights out etc are nothing to do with the horse.

She hasn't said she will stop texting your H...

They just may be more secretive or he may just pop around there more like he has before without your knowledge.

Plus as you say. He hasn't chosen to stop this because it crossed a line and you were upset. He chose to leave your house and contact her telling her all about your being 'unreasonable.'

I got it wrong he has told v not to text him anymore and go through dd in future

Well that's something I guess

Yes but he hasn't told me dd has he still hasn't contacted me

He will have to keep her number in case of a problem with the horse while dd is at school and I am at work not sure what to make of all this now as he hasn't contacted me

OP, your poor DD must be feeling awful. She's been used as piggy in the middle. How dare V say to her - I hope they work it out. And I sorry, but you have to stop seeking reassurances from her also. Get the horse moved to another stable. Let that be your first step in taking back some control and whilst you're waiting to do that either leave the horse to your husband or get down to the stable and own this whole situation - fake it till you make it. And if you do take your husband back then take him back from a position of strength, as a woman who is stronger, and not as a terrified woman who's now being forced into submission by a man who knows he had got you exactly where he wants you. You do realise him sleeping in his mums spare room is all about you being punished for stepping out of line?

You mentioned you hadn't put make up on yesterday - why was that an indication of how upset you were?

I am just the type of person who gets up and puts their make up on everyday he hasn't contacted me so I presume he doesn't even want to come back anyway

V probably does want us to work it out on the few occasions I have met her she seemed nice. She isn't interested in him as far as I am aware it him that has been secretive and said little lies to stir things up