Ex DH has really upset me.....

[Severino]

I separated from DH at Christmas time. There was a lot of financial stuff and EA and it's been a tough year (he is nice one minute then vile the next) but definitely the right thing for us all long term.
This week he told me has met someone else. I'm fine with that, pleased actually as maybe he will stop hassling me a bit. But tonight he just sent me a text 'for my own good - for future relationships' saying I should have my Labia cut back as it's such a turn off, men hate it and he wishes he'd told me even before we got married. For some reason this has completely floored me, I feel so upset. Of course I know I'm not the most attractive down there but to me a loving relationship goes way beyond that kind of thing? Maybe it's not as nice for men as a neat one, but surely we all come in different shapes and sizes and no one is perfect and we accept and love our partners for how they are. I would never have a cosmetic operation such as that anyway but I just feel so humiliated that he has spelt it out to me. I actually am not looking for another relationship at all but I feel he has totally sullied the final aspect of the relationship we had. Everything else was crap, now it seems the sex was too.

[LucyBabs]

You're so right not to reply to such a nasty horrible cunt! sorry I never use that word lightly..

Fwiw I have wonky (for want of a better word ) labia and yes a comment lke that would have floored me..however you're worth a million of this nasty fucker

[Eminado]

It must have taken him ages to come up with that. It's so far from the thought process of any normal, decent person. There is something seriously wrong with him.

And should you ever wonder, generalised statements like "men hate them" are a sure fire sign of bullshit - he is not the spokesman of all men! Utter made up nonsense.
A message designed to be so humiliating and intimate that it will hurt you deeply and be too embarrassing to share. How transparent. Not very smart either.

THANK YOUR LUCKY STARS you are out of this relationship.

Totally agree with advice to abandon your number and get a new one that is dickhead-access free.

[Charlie97]

What a horrible vile person he Is!

I typed a message for you to send back but actually he's so vile, just stop communicating with him.

[RattieOfCatan]

What a pathetic cunt. Not only is it something to undermine your future sexual relationships but he's also expecting you to never tell anybody about it because it's such a personal insult and a taboo topic, thereby ensuring that you can't prove to people what a cock he is by showing them evidence of it. I'd make a fucking point of telling any solicitor about it and keeping the evidence, abusive cock can get all that's coming to him!

[Cucumber5]

can you imagine if all men only liked one thing? So size 14 redheads with size 36f breasts only. The world would be a very boring place.

[Bubblegum18]

My ex said this about a girl he had been with before hewas extremely rude about her, the funny thing is. he ended up in a relationship and married her. I cringe because the poor thing had no idea and if he told me about it who else did he tell he is scum and so is your ex don't allow him this but of control and take your confidence which is what he is trying to do.

[Shayelle]

He needs to stop thinking about you as you split nearly a year ago and hes with someone else. Why is he even still thinking about you - Sad Bastard thats for sure. Can you block him??! for you.

[Mummyoflittledragon]

The oracle has spoken. The human race is doomed! Women, tighten your fanny!

So how does he account for the boom in population all over the planet if women not sporting his ideal shape and size of labia are so unattractive? Men all over the world flagrantly fucking flappy fannies. And proudly making love to wonderful women. What a prize Pratt your ex is. Well rid.

[Hidingtonothing]

Definitely designed to cause maximum damage to your self esteem and deter you from having future relationships. I would be sorely tempted to reply 'that's strange because my new partner can't seem to get enough of me' but your lack of response is infinitely more dignified and is probably hurting him more than any reply could. I hope all the replies you've had on here have neutralised the effect of his cruel words OP, you really are well rid of him

[Shayelle]

I think you need to somehow warn him that if he continues to contact you for anything other than child arrangements you'll be building a case against him for harassment. I would start reporting these kinds of messages. You can email your local police and they will record it for you and they'll speak to him if you want them to. Ive had to do this recently.

[Kr1stina]

He has said this to assert his control and to try and make sure you don't feel comfortable moving on to new sexual partners. It has nothing to do with your anatomy and everything to do with trying to give you a massive head fuck. Don't let him win

This.

Many congratulations on your divorce

[Unicornsandrainbows3]

Absolutely repulsive thing to say and is complete and utter BS to boot. There is NOTHING wrong with you but by God is there plenty wrong with him. Thank everything you are out of that relationship.

[Bagina]

I agree that he is the only cunt that needs it's lips clipping. At first I thought he's just trying to stop you having sex with another man, but from reading the message it's sounds like a more general message to all women. "Men hate them". He sounds like a woman hater. It's quite frightening to read. He even describes the operation. He's not right in the head is he??

[Darcychu]

Haha funny thing is he cant talk for all men o_0 a lot of men love large labias, me myself as a woman dislike them a lot and don't have one BUT i have actually had men wish i had a large one because mine looks non existent, and i've also had men pleased i don't, no one can talk for there whole gender so hes full of shit XD ... seems very immature too me.

if i was you i would write him a nice note saying how you appreciate his concern but that your sex life is none of his business and that actually you don't need to do anything too please a man and if a man wanted you too change, then he isnt good enough for you and then simply put that you will no longer be communicating with him as he is your ex and you no longer wish for him to be in your life.

sure He will be shocked and probably hate you even more for being so independant XD But fk him.

leave it at that and never talk to the man again, Get a new number if needs be, or just simply dont open his messages : ) dont let him get to you!

[BarbarianMum]

Yeah right OP. It wasn't him that was the problem in your relationship, it was your labia. If only it had been more...(what? larger/smaller/more shapely/a different colour???) he wouldn't be an abusive fucker, he'd have been Prince Charming.

Just block and ignore. And thank your labia for saving you from wasting your life on a turd.

[cauliwobbles]

I'd just send one back telling him there's only one nasty c**t round here and it's not mine.

Most men would just count their blessings to be near enough to a pair of labia to see them without worrying or bitching about what they look like and it's not as if their appendages are a bloody work of art!

You're perfect. Ignore the nasty fucker, that'll annoy him more than you biting.

[Chinnygirl]

Haven't RTFT

A couple of years ago we had a discussion at work about cutting labias because of a tv program that was on the night before (I work in a hospital so maybe not such a weird topic there). A lot of them were men and really couldn't understand why women would have anything cut down there for some beauty fad. There is nothing wrong with it. Just wanted to give you an example of how most men think (they're just happy to get your undies off).

Your ex is just a shallow dick who is trying to get you down. It's bullshit,

[ravenmum]

Trying to control your feelings after his departure obviously. But just demonstrating what a good idea it was to split up.

Weird phrasing though. So casual - "lip clipping" - and it rhymes, like "back and sack", as if this is a thing that people talk about and have a funny name for. Am I the only one never to have heard of the concept before, and wonder if it is something that has originated in the porn scene? Among professionals who are ready to invest in plastic surgery? Curious ...

[PoldarksBreeches]

Oh god don't reply at all. Never reference it to him. Surely he won't be stupid enough to bring it up again - and if he does, you will have even more proof that he's trying to goad you into a response.
The way he put it 'lips clipped' and his weirdly specific knowledge about how it is done is totally bizarre.
You know it's bullshit though - I have found there are plenty of men out there who don't expect bodily perfection and whilst some men do look down on untidy labia, uneven breasts and stretch marks they are simply the ones you don't fuck ime.
Have you seen this? www.greatwallofvagina.co.uk/home

[TataEs]

'i'm glad you feel we can be honest with each other, with that in mind can offer u some advice... get ur penis enlarged. the procedure is relatively simple, but since separating i have realised you lack a certain girth that women just need in order to feel satisfied, and if i'm honest you are substantially below average. i never said anything before as i thought it a bit cruel, but i think X will really appreciate it.'

guys a cunt

[CanuckBC]

What an utter twat. You should send him this link for a laugh. It came up as the result of the link up thread 😅www.nerve.com/scanner/2009/07/24/her-vagina-is-the-biggest-thing-in-town. It's a really funny song by a comedian apparently.

I am not sure what your countries definition of harassment is, I am from another. This in conjunction with his other mean, demeaning, and just wrong texts should be enough to be reported to the police. You are separated and hopefully divorced and it not well in your way to it. You should be past the abuse and if not, able to get protection from it. It won't hurt to contact them or your Woman's Aid to get advise. It's Sexual Abuse/Harassment and you shouldn't have to "listen" to it from him.

Yes, you need to be in contact regarding your children. That can be pick up, drop off, clothes, dinner, lunch, tea etc only. Very basic with loner ones when needed. Try and take all emotion out which, I know from personal experience is way easier said then done.

Please don't let the asshat get to you, he is a bizarre little man.

[wheelwithinawheel]

I would reply with 'hahaha You're sitting around thinking about my fanny?!'

Or completely throw him by saying 'ah but women aren't...'

What a weird, cruel bastard. Pay ZERO attention, he's just being a cunt to hurt you.

[Trifleorbust]

I have just shouted aloud - unbelievable. Haven't RTFT so I don't know if he has answered you but I would A) not answer him and B) keep evidence. Any further texts or messages I would take to police and say he was following a course of behaviour that amounts to harassment. You are not together. He has no right to make intimate remarks to you of that nature. Vile man.

[Chocolate123]

As tempting as it is to reply I wouldn't waste a text he's not worth it. Loving some of the replies here though. Just be smug in the fact that he's the one with issues and you are in control and well rid.

[birdybirdywoofwoof]

Don't reply. You can't win with a twat like this.

You are handling it beautifully. I'd keep the message tho to remind me what a cunt he is.