Ex DH has really upset me.....

[Severino]

I separated from DH at Christmas time. There was a lot of financial stuff and EA and it's been a tough year (he is nice one minute then vile the next) but definitely the right thing for us all long term.
This week he told me has met someone else. I'm fine with that, pleased actually as maybe he will stop hassling me a bit. But tonight he just sent me a text 'for my own good - for future relationships' saying I should have my Labia cut back as it's such a turn off, men hate it and he wishes he'd told me even before we got married. For some reason this has completely floored me, I feel so upset. Of course I know I'm not the most attractive down there but to me a loving relationship goes way beyond that kind of thing? Maybe it's not as nice for men as a neat one, but surely we all come in different shapes and sizes and no one is perfect and we accept and love our partners for how they are. I would never have a cosmetic operation such as that anyway but I just feel so humiliated that he has spelt it out to me. I actually am not looking for another relationship at all but I feel he has totally sullied the final aspect of the relationship we had. Everything else was crap, now it seems the sex was too.

[Gobbolinothewitchscat]

Do not respond to this at all.

However, are you divorced? If not, pass this onto your lawyer and get him/her to write to his lawyer asking him to desist from sending you anymore harassing texts.

If he doesn't feel ashamed of himself now, he should after his and your lawyer have read that vile text and his lawyer has to sieaknto him to advise him not to contact you in those terms ever again.

I would also get a new phone number and use your existing one solely for corresponding with him. Only switch your phone on intermittently to check it. Part of the horribleness of this message was it was delivered out if the blue when you were probably relaxing at home.

[Diamogs]

What an utter bastard your ex is.

I agree with those that have said ignore it. He is just trying to damage your self esteem.

[Cloudylemons]

This man is ridiculous, as if such a thing would ever matter to a loving man. He must be trying to make you feel so self conscious that you'll be scared to have a relationship with anyone else, which would suit his controlling ways, just as he settles down with his new partner. He is panicking that you'll now meet someone, as he has, and he will lose all control over you. What an idiot. So transparent! Thank god you left him when you did.

[Offred]

Solo - that is brilliant!

[Severino]

When we split he was a heavy drinker, overweight and could rarely get it up anyway!! He has now lost weight, spends all his time in the gym and seems to think he is god's gift to all. To be honest I was quite happy to forget the past, walk away and move on being as amicable as possible. Why do all this?
The positive is that I can prove to others exactly what he is like. His 'charm' may fool them but now people can see exactly his true colours

[pregnantat50]

He wants to stop you being confident enough to find someone else, someone who will treat you as you deserve as then you will realise what an utter pig of a man he was. Seriously, its a form of control, having moved on himself he realises he doesnt want you to be tempted to do the same....ignore him xxxx

[ShowMeTheElf]

Well goodness! I cannot imagine why anyone would think such a comment was appropriate on any level......unless.....someone has made him think that such comments are appropriate by telling him that he needs some |ahem) work down there?
'Fess up OP: he has a wrinkly winky that needs a tuck or extension doesn't he? His new squeeze has mentioned it and he now thinks it's an appropriate conversation.
Do not let your ex's unfortunate winky cause you a moment of concern OP. He's clearly struggling with his own body image for some reason.

[Gobbolinothewitchscat]

My advice still stands about not responding but in the world if fantasy responses, I'd be tempted to text back "well, that's you in a nutshell - style over substance every time!"

[pringlecat]

What pregnantat50 says. He's trying to sabotage your attempts to move on. Utter pig. He doesn't want you, but doesn't want anyone else to have you either. Pig.

I'm still really angry on your behalf. Men like this deserve to come with a warning label stuck to their heads.

[ThereIsNoFelange]

Fucking send it to his new girlfriend.

That would have any half-decent woman running screaming for the hills.

[Shiningexample]

he's quite the sadist....really wants to twist the knife doesnt he
thank god you're rid of him, I really pity any other partners he has

of course you should just ignore him but it must be tempting to reply suggesting he has surgery to correct parts of his body, there must be something he's self conscious about?
you could go straight for the genitals but I suppose that would be too obvious

[TheNaze73]

Whatever you do, don't give him the satisfaction of knowing that his comment has got to you. He's throwing everything at you, as he's really clutching at straws as he's knows you are done with him. He looks as pathetic as those people that are dumped & then say well the sex was crap anyway. Bitter & twisted.
He's clearly vile but, keep your council & screenshot

[Iamdobby63]

Well, he's no great loss is he?

This is just his way of making absolutely sure that you are aware that he has recently seen another ladies bits, you didn't react how he thinks you should by him having a gf and just thought he would try something else to get a reaction.

He is a prized twat and I doubt his bits are 'perfectly' formed.

Sorry but I did lol at the suggestion he has his dick removed and attached to his forehead... classic.

[Offred]

He's just a classic insecure little man I think. What a cockwomble.

Change his name in your phone to cockwomble. And his picture.

Block him.

Then if you have a solicitor get them to send him a letter with an email address (newly set up) he can use to discuss contact with dc and divorce matters ONLY because he is repeatedly sending texts you consider to be abusive. Warn him that if the harrassment continues via email or in any other manner you will make a police report.

If no solicitor simply send the letter to him yourself.

If you have a lovely friend who is willing get them to monitor the email address for you for a while.

[SanitysSake]

I'd tell him.. 'You might want to get a bigger cock and a few more pre-sex cat-skills. Women whom have had to deal with penile size issues, often expect their partners to be better in other areas... You woefully lack in this regard -and in all other departments, I sadly have to report. A point that, my better nature looked beyond, because I respected you - loved you - for your soul. That frippery aside, thank you for your feedback and with kind regards for the time you took to give me that appraisal. I hope my feedback now sets YOU on a better way for finding a happier and more fulfilling life. '

;)

[kittybiscuits]

What a disgusting pig of a man. I would send a reply: 'I have reported you to the police for your offensive message. Please use email only to contact me regarding contact with the children. If you contact me about anything else I will report you for harassment '. And then call the police on the non-emergency number.

[Obsidian77]

I think ignoring this spiteful nasty rubbish is the best thing to do but I'd be tempted to reply "What a coincidence, some people (at work, down the pub) were chatting about this the other day and the consensus was that only men with small cocks are uncomfortable with fuller labia..you know cos they feel it makes them look even tinier. But you know I would have never complained to you because it's sweet that you used to try so hard."
There are cultures where larger labia are seen as more beautiful and women stretch and pull theirs to make them bigger. Like pps have said, there's a huge range of normal.
I wonder if your ex has recently noticed you looking happier or more confident and wanted to hurt you through sheer spite.

[Shiningexample]

the fact that his is still fixated on your 'private parts' might suggest that he's not exactly over you

[AxminsterCarpet]

God yes, how embarrassing to have the police have to talk to you if you'd sent a text like that!

[thequeenoftarts]

I would be very tempted to reply the following
Not only have I had no other complaints from my new lover, who by the way can make me orgasm so much harder and faster than you could. I have also realised you have a tiny penis ( is it a clitoris lol) and your appallingly bad in bed, but sure never mind I am sure you will improve given time. Then block him hahaha

[Horsegirl1]

What an absolute disgusting human being he is. Honestly that's the most cruel thing iv ever heard. Tell him o fuck off and his dick needs to grow

[dataandspot]

Worst comment from an ex I have read.

Chin up op. Things can only get better.

[Severino]

I feel loads better with you all agreeing he is just cruel and vile. I am completely aware of what I'm like down there and don't care and still don't care. He has not made me feel self conscious or anything, I was just so upset by the depths anyone could sink to,
especially someone I had a child with.....

[needsahalo]

Urgh. What a twat. My ex does this - abuse dressed up as concern. It is abuse, so do treat it as such. I think a solicitor's letter is a good idea in this situation with a screenshot of the text so there is no denying it or pretending it's a joke you just didn't understand. You should be clear it has been reported to the police and that you will use the law to protect you from this abuse if necessary. This is the one and only chance he gets.

Be prepared for it to get worse but I can assure you if you don't engage it will stop. It is no fun if the person you are trying to hurt doesn't react - and it is a reaction he wants.

[Mrskeats]

That's such a dreadful message.
I would send a message along the lines of if you send me any more abusive messages I will be reporting it to the police.
What an awful excuse for a man. Count yourself lucky to be away from him.
Poor you (hugs)