Ex DH has really upset me.....

[Severino]

I separated from DH at Christmas time. There was a lot of financial stuff and EA and it's been a tough year (he is nice one minute then vile the next) but definitely the right thing for us all long term.
This week he told me has met someone else. I'm fine with that, pleased actually as maybe he will stop hassling me a bit. But tonight he just sent me a text 'for my own good - for future relationships' saying I should have my Labia cut back as it's such a turn off, men hate it and he wishes he'd told me even before we got married. For some reason this has completely floored me, I feel so upset. Of course I know I'm not the most attractive down there but to me a loving relationship goes way beyond that kind of thing? Maybe it's not as nice for men as a neat one, but surely we all come in different shapes and sizes and no one is perfect and we accept and love our partners for how they are. I would never have a cosmetic operation such as that anyway but I just feel so humiliated that he has spelt it out to me. I actually am not looking for another relationship at all but I feel he has totally sullied the final aspect of the relationship we had. Everything else was crap, now it seems the sex was too.

I didn't read the whole thread, so forgive me if someone else has already said this but I would be tempted to tell him to get his lips sewn up. As future partners don't want to hear all the abusive shite he spouts. If he sends it in email or text form it can be ignored, or used against him in a court of law, depending on how far he goes.
You sound lovely OP, he sounds like a waste of humanity.

Ive got massive labia and many men love it!!! ive had compliments and in fact no one has ever complained about it.
Hes just insecure and trying to make you feel like shit.
Dont let it get to you. Not all men are massive bellends like he is.
Being in a new relationship has probably made him think of you being in one and he hasnt liked the idea that he would no longer be able to control you so hes just doing whatever he can to make it less likely that you will get together with someone. Hes trying to dent your confidence.
Tell him you love your labia and if he doesnt thats just too bad, good job he will never get to see it again.
xxxxxxxxxx

He has no right to be talking to you about your labia, how dare he?! Your labia is fine and men do like them, well straight men, obviously! Has he never seen any porn? Big labia everywhere, all shapes and sizes, men literally can't get enough of them!! Anyway, what a stupid cunt.

I honestly would nip this harassment in the bud right now. There are laws against it and he needs to stop. Report his actions (including ALL nasty messages to you, your parents and anyone else) to the police and reply in writing to his labia message to say "I have reported this to the police. Do not contact me regarding sexual or personal matters, or on any subject at all except for contact arrangements regarding our son. Do not contact my parents or any other family members. Any such contact will be reported to the police. You do not need to reply to this message". Then do exactly that. Don't give him an inch - he'll abuse it. Every single message not to do with contact with your son, or any message purporting to be about contact but with anything nasty or personal in it - report it to the police straight away.

Love your updated posts, OP. Good for you

What an absolute cock your ex is. I hope you see how much better you are without him.

With regards to his nonsensical comments, I have large labia and no one has ever made a negative comment. In fact, my current boyfriend has stated repeatedly how much he loves the way I look down there.

Fuck him,OP.

ffi175, I also wondered if his new partner exists.

I wonder how he would feel if in the future some vile ex said this to his DD? In fact I wonder about his attitude to his DD if this is how he thinks of women.

Quite sickening - please do save any abusive texts Severino.

Freedom Programme online booked
feels great to be taking charge. Thank you so much for the link

Sounds like he is trying to hurt you and undermine your self confidence. He says he's met someone else and moved on but by saying that to you he is hoping it will put you off having a sex life with anyone else! What a complete and utter selfish nasty bastard he is. You are so better off without him in your life.

Wow, What a complete arse. I know the higher ground would be to say nothing but i would be tempted to reply - -

Thank you so much for your text, i am fully aware i have a ugly un-fanciable c*nt, which is why i'm in the middle of divorcing him

What a wanker.

Agree it's best to ignore. I'd be tempted to send him a tiny cock message.

Your well rid

Footle - yeah I'm unsure. Emotional abusers tend to also be the biggest liars. Maybe just a test to see her reaction and he got the opposite of what he was hoping for. Sure if there is another woman, she will learn what he's like asap hopefully

He's attempting to continue to abuse you, and it's harassment.

Wow can't believe that! Not read all the thread so apologises if I'm missing something but I'd bet anything that

A) he was expecting a bigger reaction to his news on new gf and was gutted that you didn't give a shit

B) he is thinking "shit, now she knows I'm shagging someone else, she might go and do the same thing! I better send her something to make her think twice ... "

Either way he's a twat of the highest order and if I were you I'd send something back along the lines of

"Hey, thanks for that! So glad we can discuss these things openly and honestly now as I've been wanting to tell you for ages that your penis is a really odd shape and also quite small - women really hate that it would be a shame if your new girlfriend was put off by it. Also, your balls are a funny shape and a bit droopy, I've heard you can get surgery to correct that. Might be an idea?" 😘

I asked DH. He says your ex is weird and bitter, and for someone who has separated and got himself a new girlfriend, it appears he's overly obsessed with you!

DH also doesn't think he knows any man who would ever suggest women have that sort of surgery.

Ignore the twat.

oh my god what an absolutely disgusting thing for him to say, ignore him, all women are different, tell him he always stank and his willy is too small!!! Jeez I'm livid for you xx

I'd also tell him he makes weird "wheezing" noises during sex which is quite off putting. Hopefully the fucker will be too paranoid to breathe next time he's at it.

Hmmm, a Melbourne Uni team published a study in the BMJ a couple of weeks ago, saying that GPs had experienced a huge upsurge in women asking about surgery. Due to porn, the internet, waxing etc women are apparently becoming ever more insecure and anxious about whether they have a 'normal' labia. This study was very widely reported in the British press over the last couple of weeks.

I mean what a massive coincidence that your ex brings up this terrible problem that you have, the week after it's reported that it's many women's secret fear.

What a horrible man. I bet there's bugger all wrong with it.

Everyone's different down there. I had some serious tearing after birth and lost a piece of labia, so one is just a half of one. Ex DP (DS's dad) used to make horrible comments about it all the time. You're worth more than that.

a Melbourne Uni team published a study in the BMJ a couple of weeks ago, saying that GPs had experienced a huge upsurge in women asking about surgery. Due to porn, the internet, waxing etc women are apparently becoming ever more insecure and anxious about whether they have a 'normal' labia

WTF!!! and what is normal and who gets to decide that?
BTW your Ex is a c**t.

All women look different, but I don't recall ever thinking that any labia looked abnormal it's just not something one cares about. Frankly once it's in view, I was usually just happy to be there .

Likewise I am sure no woman has ever looked at my little sack and thought oh Morbius that's your highlight.

What is this drive for perfection? We are all different, that's the fun of life.

Morbius, I wonder if porn influences it (thoughts of surgery) as without porn straight women (unless they're gynaecologists) never see other women's bits. Men, on the other hand, catch at least fleeting glimpses at urinals, locker rooms, etc.

I was quite shocked to discover that lady parts all look different. I'm not that shockable, but I thought there was one design and was =:-0 when first viewing porn.

So while it's mad nonsense I can vaguely grasp someone thinking "by Jesus, mine are not like those women's and they are clearly having a hell of a time."

lizzie is this one of those things women force on themselves (meaning driven by women)? I know that sounds counterintuitive, but women's magazines (with size zero models) are all run by women.

Being Frank, men have known women's bit's come in all shapes and sizes for thousands of years. So I find it hard to believe it's driven by men. I will probably get flogged for this

Given the texts he sent your parents recently it seems pretty clear that his motivation at the moment is deliberately to try and hurt you. So you have no need to give weight to his views, which he may well be making up anyway. Everyone is different down below. And he's horrible.

No argument from me, Morbius. Having had to endure countless evil workplace witches, I know too well how awful a type of woman can be to other women. Though thank god labia-shaming hasn't hit the office. Yet!

OP, your fanny is just fine. Your ex, on the other hand, is a spiteful, pathetic shit. You win. x